^^^^^^^^^^WELL DO IT..lol
Yo uppun on this thanx for the feedback boo
^^^^^^^^^^WELL DO IT..lol
Yo uppun on this thanx for the feedback boo
It's a nice little poem.....
kind of seen as an attempt to spark a second thought in the person's mind before walking out......
All i can say is, very well written. I mean all round. I didn't see any flaws in it. NOne that are apparent anyway.. And of course, emotions were depicted in a powerful yet controlled manner.
But please, NEVER, nominate yourself for RB Legends. Cos like when people write stuff, and they are so content and happy with it. Like they've got it all onto paper. You're going to really pumped n what not...and nominate stuff that is good, even great. But not necessarily Legends material...(something along those lines..but yeah, that's the RB reason..)...
This is the 'artistic' reason. Its the kind of feeling that shouldn't conflict with being put up in some 'hall of fame' or whatever. It should be as it is. For what it is...ya dig?
Though i guess, this is probably one that should be in there. For a certain amount of originality, and it was so well written. I'll give it a partal reccomendation.
Last edited by Varentao; June 21st, 2003 at 09:16 PM
I'm too secure to have a signature.
Oh.
real powerful shit dawg. respect
Varen and the rest i understand Yo thnx for peepin it givin me yo feedbacks thnx anyhow
shit was tight and was like raw emotion. U know i like both of yo poems ive read so far, but i have a suggestion, u can ignore it if u want, but i have found that writing freeverse where it doesnt rhyme can really catch hold of peoples mind and put the peace in a more serious mood. just a suggestion, oh u can make parts of it rhyme too but leave some where it doesnt rhyme, this makes it seem really original and it will stand out more. keep up the tight ish fam, peace
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