Come on people can i get some feedback in here..
Come on people can i get some feedback in here..
spelling, grammar, and vocabulary threw off your piece just a bit. The piece could have been nice, but because of those areas I wasn't really feeling it, but I overlooked that put it together, good job, but fix up the obvious, people dont want to read an illiterate piece. Take that into consideration.
I know I am born
I know I will die
Inbetween is mine, and it is mind
<marquee>-Greatest.Nefarious Assassin</marquee>
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Word thx for feed i tryed to fix it some more but i guess yall are just going to have to tell me the errors on the verse..
Hit this up and i will leave some feed on yours thanks for reading.
ditto....up for feed.
blah feed.
Not too bad. You started out well and had a nice scheme but as you progressed I felt the piece declining. The vocab was okay and Imagery was good but the errors in it kinda erked me a bit. I liked the multies in the beginning and followed the story lines through to the end. My favorite lines would have to be, like I said, the first couple lines.
For your first OM this isn't bad, it's pretty good actually.
The count wasn't bad and the multies kept it constant so I'd have to say overall, Nice piece. Elevate and I'm sure in a few Om's you'll be droppin' the dope ones. Keep up.
-Insert Sig-
ok this was ok short but ok...i like the way you put it together with the rhyme scheme and talking bout the stuff he has and how he feels witch gave it emotion and made me wanna read it cause it was just smoove and layed out and the structure made it real easy to read and enjoy to stay dropin and keep that vocab like it is thats great to
and check out my new Om in the sig
Not Another... See Right, Writer, C.W Line
More Played then Ever..
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Thank you for feed yea ima keep writing dont forget this is the first piece though..look for part 2 a few days before christmas.
Blah a little more feed and yall can close this...Im working on part 2 now.
I was feeling this...I like the imagery and story line, but here were a few grammatical errors...the structure made it easy to follow and I like the word choice throughout most of the piece...it wasn't too long, and wasn't too short...overall, a good drop..needed just a bit more explanation and emotion to it, and it would've been all around dope...Mak
NotarizedArtistry
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