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Showing results 16 to 28 of 28

Thread: The Snatching

  1. #16
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    2,643
    Battle Record
    9-8
    up again, feed will be returned if ya leave links

  2. #17
     
    Join Date
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    9-8
    Up, Links Will Be Hit

  3. #18
    Original UK mc heartless's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
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    UK
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    37
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    i left feed dawg.....hit my diss to sickthoughtz up.........peace

  4. #19
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Can someone leave some feed on this ish

  5. #20
    Po'Ethics
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
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    London
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    37
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    6-4
    Definately a nice OM... I was impressed from the start with very few flaws in it. Some lines seem a bit pushed and too lengthy but these are compensated for by the intelligent rhymes in this piece. Maybe some more complexity might improve it to satisfy those who are unsure about this. Great imagery... Maybe a few more metaphors... I don't know I'm grasping for constructive criticism here...

    If you could leave feedback on "The Truth" in my sig I'd appreciate it... If not wait for my new spit which should drop this afternoon...

    Nice work...

    Peace
    Po'Ethics Lives

  6. #21
    Gangsta
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    369
    Battle Record
    7-4
    well you know i'mma give props where its due...and u definatly deserved it on this one...very nice usage of vocab...great Imagery..shit had me scared...( looks around for snatcher)....nice flow...and u stayed on topic....great frop

    9/10
    Fuck is youuuuu Lookin at

    LethalXpressionZ
    that old school swag

  7. #22
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    9-8
    ^ Rofl, Thanks

  8. #23
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Battle Record
    9-8
    Up.

  9. #24
    Rodge
    Guest
    i thought this was pretty nice....but lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng *in ralph of the simpson's voice* my eyes hurt.

  10. #25
     
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
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    Battle Record
    9-8
    up.

  11. #26
    nice man feelin Dis had a nice flow n i like tha way u put down ya emotions through rhymes ppl have different ways of commin 'bout it n i though it was well put together. 9/10
    Keep up tha good work.

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  12. #27
     
    Join Date
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    Up,

  13. #28
    dtwisted
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Sylentz
    Late One January Night, Walking Home Full Of Frieght
    Ive Been Scared, But This Was Escalted To A New Hieght
    The Shadows Seemed To Follow Me, They Moved With Me
    Passed The Jail, Heard Some Screems, At Least Im Free
    I Felt As If I Was Being Watched, About To Be Snatched
    I HAd Seen The Local News, " New Born Killer Has Hatched"
    But With Only A Few Minutes Left Till I Was Home
    I Passed A Percuiliar Looking Garden, Felt Haunted By The Gnome
    It Seemed To Wink At Me, But I Knew My Mind Was Playing Tricks
    Crumbling Houses Surrounded Me, Each One Covered By old Bricks
    A Car With Its Lights Off Pulled Up Beside Me, The Doors Opened
    Footsteps Behind Me, Noises Covered The Tracks And Everything Darkened


    I Was Thrown Into The Car And Left Wondering Where I Was Going
    I Knew Something Was Wrong, My Mind Was SLowing
    Everything Faded, What Was This Gas They Had Used
    It Reminded Me Of The Days, The Kid Next Door Was Abused
    The Ride Was Bumpy, Haunted And Seemed To Last Forever
    With So Much Freight Running Through Me, I Felt Under The Weather
    But I Knew I Had To Keep Going, Just For My Familys Sake
    What Had I Done, To Even Cause Any Of This Hate
    Not Being Able To Use My Sight, MY Vision Was Blurred
    As The Car Stopped, Lets Kill Him Was All I Heard


    They Dragged Me From The Car, Took Me Down Into A Room
    Pictures Were On The Wall, A Family, A Bride And Groom
    The Walls Were Old And Dusty, The Builidng Seemed Derilict
    Why Take Me, Why Was I Caught Up In This Conflict
    The Fire Was Burning, But The Room Was Still Ice Cold
    MY Heart Pounded, Not Being Able To Know What Was About To Unfold
    The Sitting Area Was Cold And Damp, The Chairs Were Ancient
    Wish I Didnt Visit My Nan Now, In Hospital As A Critical Patient
    The Carpet I Was Sat On Seemed Like It Was Blood Stained
    Pictures Of The Dead In My Mind, Was I About To Be Framed
    With My Fear Overuling Me, My Body Seemed To Be Disabled
    I Reached Out For The Candle, That Was Sat On The Round Table
    Noticed The Window Was Open, Tried To Compose A Plan
    Came Up With An Impossible Idea, But I Descide I Can
    Do It Was My Thought, But What If I Was To Weak And Got Caught
    Like Before They Had Said Theyd Kill Me, Or Id Be Severley Hurt


    I Got Up And Reached For The Window, The Floorboards Creeked
    What If They Were Out There I Thought, SO I Climbed And Peeked
    All Clear My Eyes Showed, So I Undone The Window Lock
    Heard A Ticking Noise, Turned Round To Find A Grandfather Clock
    The Door Seemed TO Open, My Mind Was Playinng Tricks Again
    I Thought To My Self I Musnt Be Caught, This Wasnt A Game
    Rememberd My Family At Home, Thats What SPurred Me On
    Cos What Would I Do, If They Knew I Had Gone
    The Window Flew Open, And I Knew THis Was My Chance
    A Escape Expert In THe Making, The World I Would Enhance
    Out I Climbed Into The Free World I Came, What Could I Say
    I Ran And I Ran, Got Home And Decided The Time Had Come To Repay..
    that was decent it had a good flow and a good structer but at times it didnt make sence but the over all piece was good keep up the good work and drop some more shit for to read

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