The Heist

[Summit Ave.]

Thank you.

[Baal.]

damn heist is pretty dope
you have talent ma .

[Kalos Graphē]

This was sooooo fuckin long Mc Mystique...damn... oh welll i actually quite enjoyed the piece. it was an ordinary subject but for some reason you made it seem more interesting no doubt... I really enjoyed how this was a phone conversation throughout the whole piece, it actually is alot harder to do that way i find, so props for pullin that off.. the flow was really consistent throughout the whole piece and it all fit together fairly nicely, there was a bar here and there that didnt quite go but that's ok, for the most part you were pretty strong with that.. im not a fan of that structure u had, but as long as it doesnt effect the flow, it's fine by me.. The multis were good, but your rhyming was too simplistic, try using more complex and difficult words to rhyme, it shows off your talent better and sounds alot better that way. the vocabulary for the most part was intelligent and discriptive and added on to the imagry nicely. the emotion displayed was above average, yet, it could have been better... I think your strongest point was the storytelling in this, along with the character development, you had a good sequence of events that were very amusing to read..

all-in-all good work, keep working on your OM's man...

[Incription]

Wow the emotion and story telling is amazing great job on this...flow was about perfect few errors...but doesnt matter great vocab..keep it up...