Fuck Family And Christmas

[Jay Mel]

I never really did celebrate a holiday
If i did, i did it my way
On that day, i sold drugs on display
After that my girl just vanish away
My family turned on me on christmas, and that was a betray
I couldnt believe that it was a good day
Every since then i felt Disarray
Really, they never did like me
Rather than love me, they rather fight me
If it wasnt, that was all i see
Instead of hanging presents on the christmas tree
They stayed home and disagree, with the way my life was guarantee to die tomorrow
If i didnt, i would borrow another family
If i liked i may keep it
The way i wrote this rhyme, dont sheep it
I got my words ready to say and dont bleep it
I thought that day would be so unique
Sellin' more drugs than a boutique
Standing Oblique
They took it all, Family........Friends and All
Now who im suppose to call?
They make me feel that the're bigger and im small
Steppin on me with there dancing shoes just like a dance hall
All i wanted was a turkey for christmas
And i could have that
The Son of a Bitches Treated me like a Alley Rat




Peace, this is my emotion and shit!


Leave ya feedback please!!!!!

[Jay Mel]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=191617
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=191676

[Ismael]

damn dude...i actually liked this one man...hehe...really funny...

[Mistral]

Very festive piece my man!...But all joking aside....It was a nice piece i thought...it had good emotion in it...I dont know whether this is true or not...but if it is then damn...Only thing i didnt really like about it is the structure but thats really just personal preference, but it still worked fine...flow was good for me...pretty fluent when i was reading through it....But overall nice piece man...keep at it.

[Predatorian]

all was good except structure... kind of... bad... Some things seemed to shortened but overall, this was the best peice of yours that I read

[livingforce]

it explains your feelings well but it sounds like something from eminem,like another i hate the world bullshit,but anyway it was ahight

[ILLunatic]

I think he needs a hug

[livingforce]

me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SoNiK]

yeah it got the mood off well... Don't know what spoiled your halloween emotions homie but, just try to keep your head up haha
I'll help you pull a jack move on some unsuspected suburban family's christmas tree, fo sho

[ssinnerisback]

Pied I never thought anything good would be written by you.. i was wrong

[Jay Mel]

Thanks everybody, and im glad Credz joined in(Finally) and Gave me props.


Uppin, and give me some feedback, i love feedback

I will repay you back, if you leave a link

This rap is all true, if your wondering.

I write nothing fake about myself, i let it out. What im feeling at the moment, Nomanate me for Writer of the month or some shit like that!

[ILLunatic]

Then you truely do need a hug


*looks around*



...blah, you're shit out of luck

*shrugs*

[Mixtape]

okay im gonna break your rhyme done...

I never really did celebrate a holiday
If i did, i did it my way
On that day, i sold drugs on display
After that my girl just vanish away
^ this was a pretty good opener my favorite part was the drugs on display that was a pretty hot flow actually...the vocab was alright..

My family turned on me on christmas, and that was a betray
I couldnt believe that it was a good day
Every since then i felt Disarray
^this was alright i wasnt really feelin it, i meran the flow was okay, but the vocab got alittle better...

Really, they never did like me
Rather than love me, they rather fight me
If it wasnt, that was all i see
Instead of hanging presents on the christmas tree
^this shows me that the rhyme was improving, the creativity was comin out alittle more, the vocab was alright..you obviously used me alot but the words in front really didnt rhyme so it was extremly basic..

They stayed home and disagree, with the way my life was guarantee to die tomorrow
If i didnt, i would borrow another family
^this was alright, the first line threw the flow off...

If i liked i may keep it
The way i wrote this rhyme, dont sheep it
I got my words ready to say and dont bleep it
^what does the way i wrote this rhyme dont sheep it and the bleep it part have anything to do with the topic....you drifted off topic...

I thought that day would be so unique
Sellin' more drugs than a boutique
Standing Oblique
^this vocab was pretty hot, the flow was alright...

They took it all, Family........Friends and All
Now who im suppose to call?
They make me feel that the're bigger and im small
Steppin on me with there dancing shoes just like a dance hall
^this was alright started gettin back on the topic, but the vocab wasnt that great, and the flow was off alittle...

All i wanted was a turkey for christmas
And i could have that
The Son of a Bitches Treated me like a Alley Rat
^this was alittle lame for an closer but i'll accept it...


overall this rhyme was pretty good, the creativity of the rhyme was good, your vocab was basic but complex in some parts, the consistency wasnt high at all, i didnt see any multi's or any signs of meta's or even the attempt of both...

but i took the time to drop lines of feed for you....please return the favor...
OM link is in my sig....

no hate nothin but love peace

[tonguetwista]

everything was good except for the structure...the structure wasnt too good which kinda threw your flow off a little bit. nice piece though man...peace

[Omniscient]

Yo nice funny shit man...just like everybody else said everything was good except da structure...but it really didn't matter to me it still was hot...like da emotion...i wonder how ya christmas is gonna be this year!!!!HaHa