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Thread: Return

  1. December 8th, 2003, 05:14 AM #1
    Kastaway
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    Return

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=97045
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...487#post970487
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=97107

    Just a little something I had typed up a lil bit back, maybe a week or two...

    I know you drop to your knees when I spit wit it ease/
    but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
    its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
    not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

    I haven't spit so long even I done forgot I existed/
    Style so Vile and twisted like a professional enlisted/
    the unlisted resident to this hip hop poetry/
    showin the masses that I still have the flow in me/
    im like atomic weapons deadly through perfections/
    even when Im fucked up I annialate in all directions/
    my complexion and connections can get the masses exceptin/
    even bosses in this shit will recognize the reserection/
    im like a deadly infection everyone know your gunna bite it/
    so I don't even bother using any effort while I write shit/
    its over now Kast back in the game and could give a fuck if you like it//

    I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
    but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
    its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
    not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//

    Now that the keys started bumping your knees started bucklin/
    the G's started chucklin cause they knew Keith started somethin/
    or maybe its nothin but look I could teach you something of the dark realm/
    but I dont really want to overwhelm anyone so its not gunna happen/
    keep tha clubs clappin like Ja's last joint shit was off point soft as the skin of snow white/
    dont get too excited it might cause a chain reaction get ya brain relaxin/
    im not playin tha director and tryin to call for action just a lil drop/
    to stop those who've forgoten those who have goten too cocky for their spot when/
    Kast is still learkin faggots is still jerkin like dudes in Mass' asses are hurtin/
    my words will still blurt when these bitches come walkin or stalkin me/
    your just talkin "B" this aint Oprah Winfrey im not tryin to spawn a discussion/
    stop the fussing this joint aint really nothing its just something to bring Kast to the front end//

    I know you drop to your knees when I spit it wit ease/
    but this is just a tease Im not aiming to please/
    its a lil something you see to get your blood pumping/
    not a verse to get your speakers thumping but im bumpin these keys//
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  2. December 8th, 2003, 04:19 PM #2
    -->FreeBasE<--
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    good rhyme scheme man

    good vocab and flow

    good flow on the chorus too

    keep postin and ill watch for ya.

    one......................................
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  3. December 8th, 2003, 04:21 PM #3
    noncentz
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    I DO RECALL YOU AND RECall you were very ill this was a good peace and you embodied all elements i enjoyed thios alot and i really cant find a flaw yet but none the less this was well worth the read
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  4. December 8th, 2003, 04:56 PM #4
    Mistral
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    Yeah i agree this was a good piece here....enjoyed the read...your structure seemed pretty good, just in the last verse your lines got kinda stretched but nothing big though....flow in this was pretty good i thought...vocab in this was good as well...overall i thought this was a good piece...keep at it.
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  5. December 8th, 2003, 11:44 PM #5
    Kastaway
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    thank you all for the feedback much appreciated...
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  6. December 10th, 2003, 05:58 PM #6
    Kastaway
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    bump...
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  7. December 12th, 2003, 12:11 PM #7
    vanes
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    yo i was chekin da old post

    an wanted 2 hit this up coz it was hevy, 1 of the best i seen, but tru say gals only been here 4 lil time, 9/10

    try not to leave spaces in between do, but if thats yo style cool
    el nigger no desea hacer, después no coge con mí que esta perra pudo ser pequeña y caliente, pero si usted me empuja yo no es listo enviar tiros
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  8. December 13th, 2003, 01:00 AM #8
    Kastaway
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    thnx ma, stay up...
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  9. December 13th, 2003, 11:59 AM #9
    J*Miles
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    nice shit dawg keep ya head
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  10. December 15th, 2003, 12:15 AM #10
    Kastaway
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    ^thanx for the reply...
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  11. December 15th, 2003, 12:37 AM #11
    .Skribblez.
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    This is a niiiiice ass peice.. I felt it from start to finish, 1st thing I've ever read from you.. keep that shit up man
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  12. December 20th, 2003, 12:22 AM #12
    Kastaway
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    ^thanx...
    Kastaway - Controller of The Dark Realm

    History has a bad habit of repeating itself. Learn from the events that took place Within the Gathering of Shadows.....
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  13. December 20th, 2003, 12:38 AM #13
    Nyte Fire
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    nice multis, good structure, nice flow...great vocab, keep it up
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  14. December 21st, 2003, 11:42 AM #14
    rule
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    good read man, you had a lot of good elements in this, i felt your flow seemed stretched in some parts..the last verse...it had some good lines very well done keep it up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..
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  15. December 21st, 2003, 05:01 PM #15
    skitten
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    Pretty good. I really liked the chorus. It was catchy. Work on structure. Vocab was great. Would be a good audio.
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