Hardtimez And Badtimez

[rayman g]

just woke up in tha morning , look in tha mirror
all i see is terror , thats when i ask myself
these friends that we make , misery that we take
only create make , the bad hardtimez
bad hardtimez , thats when we start to hate
hate each other thats when we start to beef
living in this life its like you're in a fight
try to win you ended up tight
situation not right , coz something is wrong
something is wrong , you know all about my song
HARDTIME


********SORRY I CAN'T FINISH IT , I'M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SOME WORDS I'M STILL NEW TO THIS RAPPING SO I NEED TO FIND THA RIGHT SHIT *********[IS IT GOOD OR BAD]

[rayman g]

HELP ME IF ITS BAD

[Amarant]

u jus need to keep writing a u'll become good.
again wordplay wasnt all dat, and vocab could be improved.
try add more multi's and try and make u flow stay on a not driftoff as much.
overall not bad since u've only have 14 posts, keep writing.
and if u dnt a three links to replies, this is gonna get shut down.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=96675

cheers

[rayman g]

THANX FOR THA HELP DA CHRONIC G

[Amarant]

dnt worry, everyone on this site was at ur stage at sometime or another

[Mistral]

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback to or this will get deleted..

but this was alright....kinda short though, i thought you could have went a little more with this though....but your structure in this was good i thought....flow was ok, could have been a bit better, try adding some multies and internals to help that out...but overall this was alright...keep at it.

[-->FreeBasE<--]

just keep goin man

u repeated a few ststements which is an original thing

if you meant to do it.

the rhyme scheme needs a lil help.

Get some better vocab and you be straight.

One..............................................

[Maven.]

you have to reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
thanks

[rayman g]

thanx maven

[the_insane_clown]

Yeah man work on da structure and the accual flow youll get better.