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Showing results 1 to 12 of 12

Thread: "The True"-NoxX

  1. #1

    "The True"-NoxX

    concieve to recieve wat uve been decieved
    ive seen wat you youve weaved from ur own two hands
    ur damands have caused the fall of many men
    that had the rights plans to full fill their dreams
    wat they have seen
    of the money the fame that shames the true game
    but true fame is spittin wat you feel and what u know
    not about the money the cars and the hoes
    cuz you know
    (pause)

    Hook x4
    (the true artform of spittin rhymes)


    labels trappin tru thugs into flauntin there street dreams
    and its seems that dreams turn into to record sceams
    cuz even I will stick tru to wat I've been thru
    cant u see its not good to be wat u see but to be who u be
    see wat i mean or have u seen or been in the spot light
    not willin' ta fight for wat is right in your mind you no

    (pause)
    Hook x4
    (the true artform of spittin rhymes)

    media completely changes preception
    and direction cuase an erution of fans
    with ur name on their hands
    the fame and the glamour gone in an hour
    after the show the fans are all gone
    no one singing the song
    the label left you blind sighted
    the fans are one sided
    they turned to the new next big thing on the block
    your conract is up
    your album is out
    and your left on the shelf cuz they didnt sell out
    so stick true to what you know

    (pause)
    Hook x4
    (the true artform of spittin rhymes)

    devoted for wat
    just a couple bucks
    and some one night fucks
    the fans have all left you
    you have no dignity do you
    the streets have disowned you
    their one time hero
    dropped to a zero
    in the blink of an eye
    and you try and you try
    to make everything right
    and you put up a fight
    to defend wat you did
    but you've lost your respect for

    (pause)
    Hook x4
    (the true artform of spittin rhymes)

    ...........i added more and i might record it but i dont have beat
    tell me if i should add more to make it longer or get rid of something

  2. #2
    C rocka
    Guest
    its koo you just got spelling mistakes kool......its aiight im feelin it good idea...

    6/10

  3. #3
    IM BIZZLEN THIS SHIZLE TO GET RIZZLED

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get closed/deleted..

    But this was ok...your structure needs some work though, make the shorter lines bit longer and make all the lines around the same length so it is structure good....flow was ok, add multies and internals to support the flow....your vocab could be up'd though...just work on your stuff and keep elevating...keep at it.

  5. #5
    Kwizikal P
    Guest
    not bad wordplay...but structurally,could be a little better,flow was quite weak,but all in all,OKEY DOKEY

  6. #6
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    3,513
    Battle Record
    16-12
    reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread, or it gets deleted.
    thanks.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  7. #7

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! YJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    MTC, MD
    Age
    37
    Posts
    255
    I'm feelin dis joint
    6.5/10
    I'm a tell u da truth...u need 2 elevate
    its iight tho but it could of been betta
    ur style reminds me of how I used 2 write

    peep my crew's joint

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=96580
    BEST OF YJ
    Holla at cha Boi
    Watch Me
    Eyez of a Young Nigga
    Can't Forget yall
    Luv sick
    I can't Believe It(RIP Denise)

  9. #9
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    colorado
    Age
    41
    Posts
    34
    Battle Record
    1-2
    pretty dope, dont know what it all really means but its pretty dope. your rhymin caliber is definitely up there, maybe work on flow more.

  10. #10
    beyond dope.
    Join Date
    Jun 2000
    Location
    the Netherlands
    Posts
    13,202
    Battle Record
    50-27
    structure need work..concept was kinda played, but some nice lines were used, ..keep droppin open mics and keep elevatin man ..keep it up

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    - Artificial Intelligence

  11. #11
    thanks for da feed back

  12. #12
    Originally posted by rapture
    dont know what it all really means but its pretty dope
    i just about labels changin you from repected the game of rhymin to becomin money hungry

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