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Thread: broke with no hope

  1. #1
    snakeyes
    Guest

    broke with no hope

    yo, let me tell you were i come from deep down and real/
    truth so sweet, it be an orange waiting to get pealed/
    these downtown streets in l.a you gotta feel/
    were people find the concrete mighty tasty lookiin fo a meal/
    as i search for a derection, fucked up when fu's hit dat inasection/
    like a fork on a road, my mind stuck cold not knowing were to go/
    just gettin high and see humanity flow to this sad show/
    get ya tickets right in the front row, miserable character like moe/
    neva seeing beyond, just fu's seeing fu's back forth on dat dope/
    they faces tell tha whole story of no hope tug of war./
    world spins while we still deep in tha crust headin for da core/
    trying to still find dat way out, but da system has us fo shure/
    in their grasp, running a lapse around the city were love is shitty/
    people around the west part of l.a show no pitty/
    fuckin woods have it all while we suffer like da needy/
    scraps for breakfast and leftovers for diner../
    so fuck da rich and tha hilton sisters, cuz i look like thiner/
    everyday i feel a fucked up demeanor cuz othas live from our misfurtunes and no way i cant bring it cleaner/
    i'll be waiting for hell to be over cuz i still be a fucking beaner/
    to them and all they friends at starbucks can get to barrels full of led from my sawed off shot gun, quickly i be gone/

  2. #2
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    3,513
    Battle Record
    16-12
    reply to three other open mics, and post links to the replies, or this gets deleted.
    thanks
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  3. #3
    ....BaSh....
    Guest
    This was aight...Content was aight , rhyme scheme was nice , wordplay was aight but u need to up your vocab and multis

  4. #4
    Amarant
    Guest
    Nice drop, but i thought the structure could have been better, jus up ur vocab and u shud be alright.
    nice wordplay and content.

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