New Guy:UK shit....Keystyle

[Kwizikal P]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...398#post963398

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...399#post963399

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...403#post963403

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My Structural Gaze, Thru a path of purple haze
Lifestyle's crazed, Another 2 weeks Til I get paid
Poor as Fuck, No attention for the workin class
Capitalist Systems, Tax man takin all my cash
Picture me workin Prolaterat for the Bourgoise
Workin To put food on the plate of my boss n me
Cos he don't work hard, he just leaves workers scared
Workin fingers to the bone, Workin Class life is hard
When you look thru the fog, where does this leave us?
Even lower than I was before, I pray To jesus
Who I don't even believe in, but somethin gotta keep me breathin
Cos workin in the mines with the dust has got my Lungs wheezin

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Just wrote this when I was pissed off...........Shit I sound like a Marxist warrior

[Endeva.]

i hear where ya coming from man........being from the pit yakka territory its the same here......also working class.....really related to this....now for some tips.....on the whole it was ok, but a simple scheme.....to elevate on this site you need to be using multis n metas n shit.....i think ya showing potential here....try what i said and ill be watching....keep reppin 'up north'.....if ya on aol IM me....Nickyakpak.....pZ....

[Dappa Rappa]

Cos he's from manchester im gonna respect da guy, it aint easy growin up in a society like ours, good verse keep it up rookie...

[Kwizikal P]

UP NORTH!!!!!!!! YAGGA YA!!!!!!!!,I did use Multi'z ,see I kno this shit cos I rapped before I joined this site

[Endeva.]

show me the multis then....maybe a couple of weak ones but...

[Mistral]

Yeah this was alright.....you structure was ok, it could use a little bit of work though, try to keep the lines around the same length....you had some multies, but like deva said a couple of weak ones, try to improve on that but it was still alright......overall this was alright..keep at it.

[Amarant]

good drop and nice structure. yet another rapper from manchester. good wordplay and vcab, could have been improved in parts by using more multi's but keep doin' your thing.

hit my rhyme
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=96675

cheers.

[MuhThugga]

This was alright....wasn't anything spectacular or mind-blowing....

seriously....sit down, think on a topic and write about it....stop doing these keystyles because they do get annoying when someone drops like 50 million keystyles in a few hours.....

again, this was alright....but next time...actually think this shit out and not "key it up in 15"

I garuntee the results will be much more satisfying.....