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Thread: Interpritation Of Imprisonment

  1. #1
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    Interpritation Of Imprisonment

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=95372 Verse112
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=95847 Infinite Skillz
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=95155 LM collabo


    My interpritation of imprisonment

    Every thing switched from slangin bars of good dope
    to workin to get good bars of soap
    walking to the hope the bars done broke
    so dark I feel Im developing a better sence-of-smell
    but so far the only thing Ive devoloped is a sence-of-hell
    Im tired of sleeping on my back for lack of trust
    shivering under a sheet hopin this da last month
    wish I had one last blunt just one last puff
    to put me into a place where I can deny reality
    then clinching my jaw relizing my lifes a falicy
    and in all actuality this the best system on earth
    I been to different countries and ive seen worse
    but nothing can prepare the mind for closet clostraphobia
    every ones the enemy pushing me to constant paranoya
    gettin swung on cause of the seeds I come from and where I grew
    forced to become a long arm and bleed the dumb and destroy a few
    tied and beat down cause fake niggas bumb they gums
    they type of nigga to get scared and bust a gun
    bring they whole click where theres supposed to be four fists
    I cant afford this I have a life beyond this strengling fortress
    was never my intention to snap or break those bones
    but my opinion never matterd so my intentions wernt know
    not to mention these gaurds trying to get me hurt so hard
    had to carry steal on the yard then get 6 months for having it at all
    was like fuck the system but wasnt able to fight it well
    got fucked by the system with a first class ticket to hell
    held my own did a few like like Tanya Harding
    missing life waiting and wanting and longing to party
    but I met some friends and started to do well when they pushed me
    got out a year early cause I was in the pursuit of pussy
    Id never wish that on any but those I hate the most
    but the 1st thing I did when I left is made this toast
    "To Life as a free man nothing can compare to free-life"
    all I wanted was the American dream laced with free-enterprize
    and all America wanted was for me to face three-to-nine
    Last edited by Explict; December 2nd, 2003 at 10:26 PM

  2. #2
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    common people i need some feedback on this peice..yea i know i messed up the structure...

  3. #3
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    common now... i really need some feedback on this peice.... i wrote this 2 days ago...

  4. #4
    Handcuffs
    Guest
    holy fuck, now that shit painted a fucken picture, god damn

    8.3/10

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was an excellent pz of art, good short story, you had good word play last couple lines were a little off but it did well. nvr got caught nvr did time but in this pz I did. Good lookin pz and luv.

  6. #6
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    reply to three other open mics, and post links to your replies in this thread or it gets deleted.
    thanks.
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  7. #7
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    aiigh thanks for the feedback yall....i still need more though

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    ummm reply to three open mics and post your links in here dude...

    that was a dope piece..structure and flow were very well done...8/10...

    this makes me happy to see your a member of DOI

  9. #9
    Verse112
    Guest
    on point till the end the end just wasn't climatic enough for the body of the shit.. also the structure is mad fucked and you some lines unrhymed try to rhyme your transitions to ... it take practice but you got skill overall......7/10 that a C bra

  10. #10
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    i don get it.. post the links of the three open mics that i have read..in here.. or post this link in each of the 3 open mics that i have read...

  11. #11
    Life & Times
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    This was really good, paintin pictures with words. Flow and vocab were great and you told a story well.
    Overall 8/10
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  12. #12
    80SHOTS
    Guest

    80

    80, that was good, u got some killer lines, hope to collaberate wich u, in the future dogg,

  13. #13
    The Essence Of Perfection Bottom Line's Avatar
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    This wuz a good piece. It painted a vivid picture. Nice wordplay thru out the verse. The last couple of lines were but it wuz still good.

    7.5/10
    MONDO THUGS
    Original Member

  14. #14
    I sing the body electric. Maven.'s Avatar
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    you have to post links to your three replies.
    fuck it, read the rules
    wordperfect?
    ..o0Pure0o..

  15. #15
    Dope Explict's Avatar
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    common yall give me some feedback on this peice of mine

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