new drop {girls}

[dilousion412]

edit**** forgot these

Carbon copy
2 confused to choose
opinions needed

Theres these things on the world, I think we call em girls
And sometimes may have curles, and other times make us hurl
But one things for sure, they are always cuzin trouble
Burstin guys bubbles, and always cuzin rumbles
Getting them in trouble and Levin them in rubble
Sometimes I think that they are at no good use
But us they suduce and we together reproduce
And even though most of them are brats
Their nice to look at, for men in combat
But indeed they succeed in doing one deed
Giving us what we need, love n a new breed
We start to love them to death, then they depart
You have lost a special part and also your heart
And then you rewind back in time, when at her prime
And in the behind of your mind you unwind
And remember how good she was to you
And then find out that she was bein untrue
And you suddenly want to burst in tears
Cus she was of all your cares and now it appears
She was behind your back in fact, signed a contract
With some wannabe dady mack, and you don’t know how to react
You shoulda seen it commin but you missed it
And its legit, it’s a crime she did commit
So now ur in a flood of ur own blood


may change the ending, leave some feedback

[Mistral]

this was alright....you structured this alright i thought, some lines were a bit longer than others but it was alright....the flow was ok could be better try adding some multies and internals to this to help that out...Your vocab was alright could have been a bit better though but still good....overall this was alright...keep at it and keep dropping.

[dilousion412]

thanks. uppin

[dilousion412]

uppin

[Hannibal Lector]

nice shit dogg

[dilousion412]

thanks.
uppin

[YJ]

dis joint was iight try adding multis!