Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 24

Thread: Corrupted Visions: Can't Let You Go

  1. November 24th, 2003, 03:10 PM #1
    Mistral
    Mistral is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1

    Corrupted Visions: Can't Let You Go

    Posted In: Restricted, WORTH, Tax


    Every time I close my eyes all I see is your face…
    Remembering your lips and their pure taste…
    Tasting Sweet like you, I never speak more true..
    When I told you….it would just be us two….
    Cause from the moment I first felt your lips…
    All I ever was…was just dealt four sips….
    Of tasting your sweet nectar, it cant be described…
    And from that moment, I just wanted you to be mine…
    I wanted to live that moment with you as long as I could..
    And I would as long as you said you were mine for good..

    I just cant let you go…
    When your in my arms you glow..
    I just cant let you go…
    Baby I have so much to show…
    I just cant let you go…
    Baby I just have to let you know..
    I just cant let you go…

    All it takes is just one touch to bring a smile to my face…
    If you ever went away you would take awhile to replace..
    Cause underneath the stars you just shine so bright…
    As I look at you all I think is making you mine tonight…
    Times not right cause it just went way too fast…
    The moment I want to last, I cant turn back to the past..
    Cause you aren’t there and it wouldn’t be the same…
    And ill be there no matter what when you speak my name…
    Cause all I hear is your soft voice…it just lures me in…
    So many things I need to say, don’t know where to begin…

    I just cant let you go…
    When your in my arms you glow..
    I just cant let you go…
    Baby I have so much to show…
    I just cant let you go…
    Baby I just have to let you know..
    I just cant let you go…

    You’re wonderful smile always brightens up my day…
    And I could be lost but you always lighten up the way..
    Just looking into your eyes makes it hard to breathe…
    And when I say goodbye, for me its just hard to leave…
    I want to stay with you and hold you in your sleep…
    And if loving you was a game, I’d play for keeps…
    Cause I cant lose you, I need you here with me…
    To hold you and whisper in your ear “kiss me”…
    I just want to show you all of my affection…
    Cause to me your everything...your perfection…
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  2. November 24th, 2003, 03:16 PM #2
    LoCo
    LoCo is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Chicago.
    Age
    41
    Posts
    377
    Battle Record
    0-1
    flow was tight... feelin the emotion
    nice
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  3. November 24th, 2003, 04:33 PM #3
    Endeva.
    Endeva. is offline
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    yeah man....this came across good.....stuck to the topic nicely....quite a simple approach.....but it worked...maybe that was cos of the emotion in it,,dunno.......i would say thought the vocab could be expanded on..i think....but nice drop....Pz......
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  4. November 24th, 2003, 06:07 PM #4
    noncentz
    noncentz is offline
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    j-ville florida
    Age
    45
    Posts
    5,352
    Battle Record
    7-14
    all in all all elements where here and it came nice tight peace
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  5. November 24th, 2003, 09:49 PM #5
    Mistral
    Mistral is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Hey thanks for the feedback so far...Keep the feedback coming in..its much appreciated, thanks.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  6. November 24th, 2003, 11:21 PM #6
    Gene Pool
    Gene Pool is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Age
    38
    Posts
    403
    Battle Record
    0-2
    yo man was a good drop. a good approach to but like deva said the vocab coulda maybe been upped a bit but other then that ur flow was down, the emotion was there, u had some imagery to this piece and u had some good structure work here, I also thought ur hook was down. good job bro if u wanted me to rate this I'd say an 8.5 outta 10. keep droppin bro. peace.
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>

    Words of Wisdom:

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  7. November 25th, 2003, 12:22 AM #7
    KeMy$t
    Guest
    yo nice rhyme man it was tight keep up the good work peace
    -KeMy$t
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  8. November 25th, 2003, 11:45 AM #8
    $pitacular
    $pitacular is offline
    Merk Squad
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    12,832
    Battle Record
    52-32
    Awards Legendary Battle Haymaker Maddnes Champion - HM 3 winner 50+ Wins Legendary Member OM HOF LLL Champion LLL Season Champion LLL HOF
    simple but deep enough to keep reading. good drop, maybe a little work on the vocab, but complex vocab wasn't really necessary for the feeling, so 8/10

    peace
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  9. November 25th, 2003, 12:16 PM #9
    UnParalled
    Guest
    Yo....This was straight.....Although I've seen waayyy too many posts Like this in open mic already.....*nods slowly*......Flow was nice though.....You stayed on subject....good post....
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  10. November 25th, 2003, 05:33 PM #10
    Mistral
    Mistral is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Hey Thanks For The Feedback So Far, Keep The Feedback Coming In, Its Much Appreciated, Thanks.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  11. November 25th, 2003, 06:00 PM #11
    RawSwordsMen
    RawSwordsMen is offline
    Newbie
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    12
    Well I'm not a big fan of these types of lyrics,not into them soft shit
    but this isnt about my likes,
    the flow was there,simple but sweet, the chorus was a bit weak
    Nothing really stood out....pretty much basic..and as far as the cat saying a vocab wasnt really needed...well i think it was cuz i think many people would agree....it was pretty much unorginal...
    but a overall you get a
    5.5/10
    next time try to be more creative with you words

    Peace....
    1............
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  12. November 25th, 2003, 06:12 PM #12
    dilousion412
    Guest
    good as always. flow was perfect, some multies. keep droppin. thanks for hittin mine up too
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  13. November 25th, 2003, 10:43 PM #13
    Mistral
    Mistral is offline
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    Hey thanks for the feedback so far...keep the feedback coming in, Its much appreciated, Thanks.
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  14. November 26th, 2003, 12:48 AM #14
    -uski-
    -uski- is offline
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Nov 2014
    Posts
    587
    yo dawg that was a Nyce Piece i was feeling ya in that one good Lyrics......but u Vocab could get al little touch up but all round a pretty tight Peice...........


    Peace Out Kuz(v)
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
  15. November 26th, 2003, 01:18 AM #15
    C Black
    C Black is offline
    Newbie C Black's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    E_Dub
    Posts
    36
    nice piece.......i give it 7/10........ not my style but i do get on that tip once in a while.......... u gifted kid

    wun
    [soundclick]8485667[/soundclick]
    They Know ft. Sin & Sleezy
    Reply With Quote Reply With Quote
« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Similar Threads

  1. Corrupted Visions: Visions of a Dreamer [dope piece leave feed]
    By Gene Pool in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: February 21st, 2004, 06:23 AM
  2. Corrupted Visions: I'm Sorry
    By Mistral in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: January 27th, 2004, 03:17 AM
  3. Corrupted Visions:R.H.Y.M.E
    By Penskills in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: January 24th, 2004, 10:56 AM
  4. corrupted visions: She
    By Topic in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: December 13th, 2003, 08:22 PM
  5. Corrupted Visions: And there another one goes
    By Endeva. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: November 23rd, 2003, 01:42 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Forum Rules