A Disciple's Thread

[CLA203]

For some reason my instagram has been disabled and I can’t get it my other account either for 48 hours - people are straight assholes

[CLA203]

They won’t let me post on any of my ig accounts

- - - Updated - - -

That’s my life line and mental health

[YG]

Gee I wonder why

[CLA203]

They won’t let me post on my instagram again

- - - Updated - - -

Ok I can on my other one…

- - - Updated - - -

Probably cause I can prove my electronics keep fucking with my head

- - - Updated - - -

Patriot act says you can look but you can’t touch guys

[CLA203]

Can the site do me a favor and disclose the link dock comment - hell no after that gang rape

- - - Updated - - -

Pink dick*

- - - Updated - - -

The old man is REALLY CREEPING ME OUT

- - - Updated - - -

Not you mother fucker

[Wordz AhGod.]

I respect you so much for rambling non-stop in this thread like this for this long. I remember convos about banning you for spamming and me telling people to let you at it, shit wasn't bothering nobody any ways. Now look how far you've come. I mean, you didn't go far; you're still saying the same internal monologue in circles, but I hope it's at least been therapeutic for you to do so.

[CLA203]

Get them off my phone odc who they are I’ve had the worst weekend ever

[CLA203]

Been seeing shit out the corner of my eye - someone sent a hit

- - - Updated - - -

I knew you were alive - we didn’t have texts back then… come see me it’s important

- - - Updated - - -

I love all your new shit

- - - Updated - - -

You gonna.be fine… WE gonna be fine

- - - Updated - - -

Do you have Jicera or at least know where she is?

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t mind getting shot it was the defrib that hurt LMFAO

- - - Updated - - -

I lost 5 weeks though

- - - Updated - - -

For a minute I was about to get a DNR order it hurt so bad but I’m ok

- - - Updated - - -

I feel you I can’t tell the difference between. Death and inanity anymore

- - - Updated - - -

It was you wasn’t it?

- - - Updated - - -

Thought he was just stressed and lost weight

- - - Updated - - -

I feel alone very alone

- - - Updated - - -

How about you?

- - - Updated - - -

I’m not with that bitching humiliate type shit… do you know how mad I got at axle for the.now you don’t walk so proud line

- - - Updated - - -

I. About bigging people up not tearing them down

- - - Updated - - -

Ced came home reeking of garlic and jumped from the bed to the floor when I turned over he said he couldn’t do this and slept in the kids room - that’s the closest to anybody telling me what’s going on

- - - Updated - - -

I punched the dash and the corner of my ajrbag popped out that kept L in check LOL

- - - Updated - - -

They ride me they can hold me down so bad that I can’t even move

- - - Updated - - -

Tied*

- - - Updated - - -

Someone from a wayyyyy deeper and darker circle chasing me and won’t leave me alone

- - - Updated - - -

It’s creepy as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

I’m pissed about Jayme so you better explain for real

- - - Updated - - -

And my father

- - - Updated - - -

Enterprise is ours he called me to say he wrote off the rental and that’s when I realized I didn’t have an episode and run out of gas

- - - Updated - - -

I had a DOA years prior destroyed on arrival so we chuckled I would’ve never put it together otherwise

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah in the ambulance the cop said I fell out the car saying me? Shoe? I didn’t realize he was talking about me

- - - Updated - - -

When I bled out and the hotel didn’t even call us - I’m not so scared pac I’m ok

- - - Updated - - -

I’m stronger than most people realize especially mentally

- - - Updated - - -

The bed was covered a stream to the bathroom running across the living room to the shower and a puddle on the.bathrooom floor

- - - Updated - - -

I thought it was weird that they didn’t call

- - - Updated - - -

I can’t see in the dark anymore what did they do to my eyes?

- - - Updated - - -

Felt like pins every night for years - they said it was cataracts

- - - Updated - - -

Why did I get dropped all night when they hurt me in Myrtle beach? My head and my pinky

- - - Updated - - -

I stole a lex running but that’s a little too extreme.

- - - Updated - - -

Esse ain’t Spanish I know that too

- - - Updated - - -

I GOT AN ENTIRE LIST ALMOST EVERYBODY

- - - Updated - - -

I thought he snitched on Bessie and got mad

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t play that shit the job hard enough as is

- - - Updated - - -

My dad was so happy that I was starting to wake up on my birthday that year they tried to od me and I woke up u. Mental - he loved you to death

- - - Updated - - -

Did you see what the geniuses did to my left wrist when I’m a lefty - not scared I’m very angry instead

- - - Updated - - -

That people like that think I’m less than them

- - - Updated - - -

I’ll never be a suicide pac NEVER

- - - Updated - - -

Sometimes I want to go hide too

- - - Updated - - -

Especially all them years they were publicly raping and torturing me

- - - Updated - - -

My hands I think were acid

- - - Updated - - -

It was too bad to be wind burned

- - - Updated - - -

They scarred bad but healing

- - - Updated - - -

There’s 4 apartment on the top floor and I got scared when 2 maybe even 3 of them were empty - I’m lucky the people down stairs heard me

- - - Updated - - -

Just screamed needle in my sleep all night my dad told me they called

- - - Updated - - -

I think he figured out what was going on and that’s why he drunk himself to death cause it was his own network

- - - Updated - - -

He was drug testing me too and could’ve proved j was sober

- - - Updated - - -

He knew I don’t do drugs like that I barely even drink

- - - Updated - - -

I love coke cause it counteracts the fog of all the psych meds and my days are longer than 7 hits - I hate sleeping like that

- - - Updated - - -

Hrs*

- - - Updated - - -

Who choked me like that and why rape and torture?

- - - Updated - - -

Sodimy too and I don’t even do anal

- - - Updated - - -

Shit coming out of me when I’m a condom girl to begin with it felt so fucking gross in my own body and still does sometimes

- - - Updated - - -

I was tense all the time that it hurt to touch my skin so my mom got me massages for a year until the creeper was on my ass for 45 minutes which is why I stopped

- - - Updated - - -

Old white men just freak me the fuck out type gross

- - - Updated - - -

We got to move fast my step dad real sick

- - - Updated - - -

Kidneys

- - - Updated - - -

He can’t even walk up the stairs without getting winded and he not even on dialysis yet

- - - Updated - - -

When I tried to walk out on an anaphylactic then they finally took me in… I was waiting so long I was starting to feel. Better - a poblano pepper on the gauc. Jurger at Red Robin which was never a problem.before

- - - Updated - - -

I knew in my heart you were ok

- - - Updated - - -

I remember a lot my entire life line was us in Myrtle beach and all the flashes

- - - Updated - - -

Just put together all the things that didn’t make sense - the lies they told to cover it up were impossible as I remembered them

- - - Updated - - -

It’s still hard to believe I have a daughter

- - - Updated - - -

Like my mom making me pull down my pants to prove I had my period and stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

I thought it cause they thought 59 was my babies dad probably cause his baby mom was a dancer too

- - - Updated - - -

50*

- - - Updated - - -

And for my father they can go fuck themselves too

- - - Updated - - -

Not that desperate to be down

- - - Updated - - -

Do you know how good my dad was to me? He was my angel almost my entire life

- - - Updated - - -

The gangsters loved him too

- - - Updated - - -

He probably is where I get my heart from

- - - Updated - - -

The owner of the lex spoke with my father he explained what happened and he didn’t more like wouldn’t press charges

- - - Updated - - -

I was lucky as fuckkkkkkkk

- - - Updated - - -

My laywer only charged us $1200

- - - Updated - - -

Nobody likes rape NOBODY

- - - Updated - - -

Is that 5 months still over my head though or does it ever go away?

- - - Updated - - -

6* six mobths

- - - Updated - - -

Every time I get back in the gym they make me sick again why?

- - - Updated - - -

I DESPISE THAT DOPE HEAD

- - - Updated - - -

Lying to me the entire time I hardly even knew him

- - - Updated - - -

If I did it I would f even get a slap on my hand. But to be honest they nothing to me so why even bother

- - - Updated - - -

They’re the ones that swear they so important and all that

- - - Updated - - -

Trucks please I’m hardly even hurt tolerated you that’s all

- - - Updated - - -

Grateful to hopefully be free

- - - Updated - - -

Thought I had to forgive them but still didn’t realize the magnitude of what they really did

- - - Updated - - -

Manny like a little. Brother I never had - if you think I’m pissed about mingo I know in my heart they hit Ming too - my roads were cutting off too and I’m vexed about that and how manny hardly has his family like that. Being so young - he cool as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

And got studio.skills too

- - - Updated - - -

I pared an underwater shot Ming said WTF and it snapped me out of it that’s why I stopped posting stuff like that - he was dead only a few days to weaks later

- - - Updated - - -

His undercover nick is Q tip

- - - Updated - - -

Or just Q

- - - Updated - - -

My family technically floral park but could walk to queens

- - - Updated - - -

My pop pop lived one block from the race track

- - - Updated - - -

I haven’t seen my hell mates son since I kept screaming in the car cause my roads were cutting off thank god he was driving and not me but it sucks I can’t hang with his baby anymore now either

- - - Updated - - -

You hallucinate like your on the road and then it’s woods type shit or I can’t explain it

- - - Updated - - -

Something kn the road and you swerve stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

I have peoples I love still I just keep them far away for now

- - - Updated - - -

I ain’t forget my Hail Mary day ones trust

- - - Updated - - -

Everyone else claims they scared of me FOR WHAT? I’m so chill and laid. Back I don’t even. Fight unless stepped upon

- - - Updated - - -

I figured it out… it’s mine that’s why

- - - Updated - - -

Wwyd?

- - - Updated - - -

I wanna keep it for a SVU department cause mental off the fucking hook

- - - Updated - - -

The police are too

- - - Updated - - -

Danbury made me come in from NYC at 2am to prove I didn’t hit a car that was illegally parked to even begin with- Naugatuck had my back

- - - Updated - - -

It’s the ONLY precinct I trust

- - - Updated - - -

Cause a fucking dope head crack bead said I did

- - - Updated - - -

I’m sure she got paid to

- - - Updated - - -

Gods plan home it ain’t mine

- - - Updated - - -

Did the cop that held up that book bag back in 96 retire yet? Like wtf

- - - Updated - - -

It was an accident I didn’t realize she snuck the weed in my car when she knew we were going to file a report

- - - Updated - - -

That didn’t click until I got shot either

- - - Updated - - -

They were searching for bats - he even went to a judge to have me arrested for it but the judge said no

- - - Updated - - -

Every time I got in the slightest trouble he was there

- - - Updated - - -

I thought he had a crush on my mom or something

- - - Updated - - -

A NF cop did

- - - Updated - - -

Ripped up my warrant for her once

- - - Updated - - -

I wasn’t allowed to get my license until I was 18 for stealing cars but I did 4 months before I turned 18

- - - Updated - - -

My FAMILIES cars

- - - Updated - - -

I just like cars LMFAO

- - - Updated - - -

I wonder if my boys even realized I was driving illegally cause she let me lol

- - - Updated - - -

I stole that car so much - I’d take the phone off the hook if I called and it rang u.knew she knew but nah I. Barely got caught

- - - Updated - - -

One time I fell down the stairs and Dana was like should we wait and I was like nah come on

- - - Updated - - -

Even Ced used to steal the car I woke up at 4am and it was gone h had to leave the house so my mom thought I had it

- - - Updated - - -

I was so mad he made a key

- - - Updated - - -

My mom had a love hate relationship with Ced

- - - Updated - - -

She left us the condo but then came home on a spot check and he was smoking weed and I was sleep and she got so mad she kicked us.both out

- - - Updated - - -

I’m sure my step dad was in her ear about how expensive it was to keep

- - - Updated - - -

My mom was a secretary and my step dad a warehouse manager

- - - Updated - - -

My pop pop was an accountant and miraculously bought att stock before it boomed so my GMA helped us a lot

- - - Updated - - -

My GMA. Bought the condo

- - - Updated - - -

my mom was still a switch board operator then

- - - Updated - - -

She didn’t have to work my dad used to be rich

- - - Updated - - -

She started by modeling costumes when she was planning to leave my dad

- - - Updated - - -

All assets were frozen she left with her jewelry and Acura integra

- - - Updated - - -

Her alimony and child support was like $5k a month when it was final

- - - Updated - - -

She was still addicted to shopping and qvc at the door was a running joke with me and my friends there was always a package

- - - Updated - - -

My mom cute as fuck I wish I can be just half of her again

- - - Updated - - -

She taught me so much

- - - Updated - - -

I liked no matter how scary my friends looked or came to the door beat up etc - she never even flinched and always helped

- - - Updated - - -

I. Defiantly not scrappy

- - - Updated - - -

She knew we were selling weed but was proud I was in school and had a job and not on drugs

- - - Updated - - -

I never had to ask her for money

- - - Updated - - -

The. She blamed herself when I got sick for letting me

- - - Updated - - -

Ma chill it’s still my saving grace

- - - Updated - - -

She actually does know my history guns and all

- - - Updated - - -

I tell her everything when I know the coast is clear

- - - Updated - - -

Saw her crying I underneath the table once and it changed me…. Not hollins being killed

- - - Updated - - -

They just have to pay her.back she’s been financing me since 2012

- - - Updated - - -

I have no clue who

- - - Updated - - -

Psych lied k. The file and said it was cause someone killed themselve in front of me

- - - Updated - - -

Now they? They some authors for real

- - - Updated - - -

At the third page I almost threw up the entire file is a lie

- - - Updated - - -

I sent it to 50 at interscope

- - - Updated - - -

It’s like 2 feet thick but I’m wondering how cause I always changed drs

- - - Updated - - -

And they were all saying my old drs wouldn’t tell them nothing

- - - Updated - - -

Well since I have brain damage I feel they should be treated like real medical records too

- - - Updated - - -

PISSED

- - - Updated - - -

But I can dunctipn again and then they come back type thru me make me sick

- - - Updated - - -

Finction* exhibit a

- - - Updated - - -

If they go away I’ll ne fine

- - - Updated - - -

If the Feds were watching do they remember me crying running out of work cause I know they were back when I typed die to muscle and they haven’t left or stopped yet

- - - Updated - - -

Die to myself* and it’s not cute or funny to me

- - - Updated - - -

PAC… were you supposed to pick me up when I ran away and send the police?

- - - Updated - - -

I remember bleeding bad and leaving it on the basement step and police bench - I just want the entrance to belly 5 with the same acapellp in 1 then then they do 3 and 4 (lol Wayne for real bitches skipping scenes)

- - - Updated - - -

Running thru the woods to get.caught by my sister and mom on the other side they took me to police

- - - Updated - - -

That’s when they ripped up my warrant

- - - Updated - - -



My fire song

- - - Updated - - -

It’s PACs in my opinion

- - - Updated - - -

Just have that part and maybe like 3-5 others - you down?

- - - Updated - - -

Where did the.belly part go?

- - - Updated - - -

My no means no too and they’re oussing me off

- - - Updated - - -
@Word z_ahgod I remember you too always affiliated it with nas type vibe and thank you it’s truly therapeutic and maybe I can help write a movie then book that helps the next ones to climb out too. Thanks for the feedback it does mean a lot

- - - Updated - - -

I graduate hair school in 3 months that’s a huge accomplishment for someone like me too

- - - Updated - - -

@yg LMFAO

[CLA203]

Pac thry krep saging k is you and not t

- - - Updated - - -

And everybody believe them and not me

- - - Updated - - -

Sick twistwd old man needto go away ive been hearing him sincd rhe gangrape

- - - Updated - - -

Itbhurts them to heae not me anymore

- - - Updated - - -

Pac ill tell you

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah my dogs chains again... Im fine ill necer be scafex of sokdne that cant scwn face myface

- - - Updated - - -

Cant come to my face*

[CLA203]

Pac if thar was just ob you... Then fuvk you too

[CLA203]

My biggest regret was not reporting an ex who was hittimg and now i get hit again.z.. Why when i can just walk away right?

- - - Updated - - -

Wwyd?

- - - Updated - - -

He fucked my face up bad and it hurts like a bitch too

- - - Updated - - -

Missed my third Saturday from school it’s always on Friday night

- - - Updated - - -

I’m TAF

- - - Updated - - -

Funny my soul was crying about an hour or two before… that’s when you’re eyss tear for no reason

[CLA203]

The old man in McDonalds with a wig on a computer - I think that’s the creeper the McDonald’s by my school

- - - Updated - - -

The way he smiled when I walked in and the wig and prunes

[CLA203]

Idk how they do it either but it was the exact smile Nancy made when me and Tim drove by right on time and L said at least I got to do what I wanted to do and then one time an old classmate was by a party bus

- - - Updated - - -

Atleast I got to do what I wanted to do today*

- - - Updated - - -

It’s ok I rather be dead then their bitch anyway

- - - Updated - - -

The creeper who parked behind me and I hit his car he went thru my insurance

- - - Updated - - -

I’m like 90% sure it was the same man in McDonald’s

- - - Updated - - -

PAC I know that you are still alive and don’t give a fuck and won’t help me either you let them too

- - - Updated - - -

I waited 8 years

- - - Updated - - -

Suicide yeah right I’ll kill before that

- - - Updated - - -

Get the beast off me it’s gross

- - - Updated - - -

If I had any friends it’d be easier. But I won’t cave

- - - Updated - - -

I know what I’m worth and deserve besides my craziness and being a human. Toy

- - - Updated - - -

I haven’t shed one tear yet and refuse ro

- - - Updated - - -

Refuse to*

- - - Updated - - -

How did I become so hated?

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t want anything to do with their elite ass family for real

- - - Updated - - -

I rather. Be beat and raped then have anything to do with that dope head

- - - Updated - - -

Set me up from day 1 and ruined my entire life 9x now

- - - Updated - - -

I hate their family they’re abusing and disrespecting the shit out of me forcing my body and biting my cheek and shit - no thank you don’t want anything they got

- - - Updated - - -

God fucking with me and all these voices in my head won’t shut up

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t like it and don’t want to live my life like them

- - - Updated - - -

I’m a hair dresser - I know a wig when I see one it was blonde

- - - Updated - - -

And he had a hat on too

- - - Updated - - -

I’m tired of that sick fucking freak and his pi wi a playground

- - - Updated - - -

I didn’t give my body to nobody or other god

[CLA203]

Nothing but my worst nightmares come true

[CLA203]

Pac im zorry buti cant do tgud i dont want anythimg to do with psych

- - - Updated - - -

Or my old friebds

- - - Updated - - -

Why everytime im happy agaib do thry come back to tear me down

- - - Updated - - -

Someone is on my body abd refuses to leage md alons -i dont like it

- - - Updated - - -

I get it every friday he doez this fof like 3-7 weeks... Im done with everybody they get to everybody

- - - Updated - - -

Do ypu know how many hours i lost tofay? Even my own mother stucl up for tim
U

- - - Updated - - -

Thy took everybldy away ans then make eveeyone else hate me

- - - Updated - - -

My worst nighymare sincr 2010

- - - Updated - - -

I dont think i can trust anyond ever again now

- - - Updated - - -

Why cayse i posted wjere did my roof go on fb? Sprry but i dont know what its like to be a hater

- - - Updated - - -

I like to see people happy, pretty, and doiing wrll

- - - Updated - - -

Fuck a needle tbe electric chair hurts way more i think

- - - Updated - - -

I want that rapist castrated and dead as well as the peoplr who sold me to them

- - - Updated - - -

Um never going to try tto love anybldu ever again

- - - Updated - - -

J ost cpunt how many bpyfriends. Traded me

- - - Updated - - -

I fefuse to let that rapisy pedo fuck win and. Never have sex agaim tjhlugh

- - - Updated - - -

After the gangrape in mrytle beach my bf didnt tpuch md for 3 years its why we finally btoke up

- - - Updated - - -

Im just real slow and stupid whem these freaks are arpund

- - - Updated - - -

Why wont tbey leave me alond and just let me.be happy

- - - Updated - - -

Never in my entire life have a met dr kaplab why was tim seeing him and he submiyted falas records to my prograk too?

- - - Updated - - -

They wont let me oyt

- - - Updated - - -

Between mobey or death i chose they dje causs never.being rped ever again ks more imporyant to. Me and being able to protecf myseld too

- - - Updated - - -

For some reason all the pawb shops in waterbury wont take alexas and they using that to di ut i thjnk

- - - Updated - - -

I wantto bfing it to the police but thetll just lock me up again

- - - Updated - - -

Becausekt goes off byitself anx iz all black wjtg a white cord

- - - Updated - - -

I dont eant anytgubg to do wjtg their soul switching world

- - - Updated - - -

The voucrs are so baf today i got rral sixk and snapped last nught

- - - Updated - - -

Tbey taught tim how to fyck woth my head and make me hit ibsanity

- - - Updated - - -

I thinl they prepped him on words ans things tk say to makw me trust him too

- - - Updated - - -

Just losing mad timde in my own home again

- - - Updated - - -

Who did thjs tk me and my life abs why?

- - - Updated - - -

Why wont anyone just make tgem lrave me alone?

- - - Updated - - -

Isnt brakn damage enough for them

- - - Updated - - -

The onlu druh i do is sniff coke that woyld be frontal lobe not memory in the back

- - - Updated - - -

Cause nobody on this earth can fubction on 6 different psych neds

- - - Updated - - -

I dont like sleeping 15 hts

- - - Updated - - -

My beuro wont treaf me and just promise me no matter what they will never gst my brain

- - - Updated - - -

They stole evrry dream i ever haf in my one life

- - - Updated - - -

I ratherkill before i let them gef thier selfish knes at the rxoense of me

- - - Updated - - -

They wont even stop makng me sick on fridays sk i lose 6 hts at school.zz why wont theg let md graduatw

- - - Updated - - -

The past 4 or 5 weeks ypud ha e yo check with the school admins

- - - Updated - - -

I jist want to ve halppy who the fycn is happy livong of thejr mom at $140 a werk bsing sick like this

- - - Updated - - -

$130

- - - Updated - - -

I had a career and life and i wanot tio know who took thaf from me and why

- - - Updated - - -

My only real friebd js dead and my father so fuck pyre too

- - - Updated - - -

I know i deserve heaven after this

- - - Updated - - -

I mkake everyone worse not better so ull never ride woth hotseman again eithwr

- - - Updated - - -

Whem you hqve nothing left to live for youre sulpposed to finf somethung to die for

- - - Updated - - -

�� �������� �������� ������������������ ���� �������� ������ ������������ ������
�� ���������������� ����������

- - - Updated - - -

Ll never sacrafice myself for anyone but my daugher and few family i havel left ever agaib

- - - Updated - - -

Its russian royllete

- - - Updated - - -

Im not afraid to die im afraid of living the resrt of my life lime this

- - - Updated - - -

How did they get control of mu body?

- - - Updated - - -

Ibtrusred peace and confort and they took that too. I have to learb to nrber forgive again

- - - Updated - - -

Passion males me fucking siick

- - - Updated - - -

Its icky to md

- - - Updated - - -

And corny

- - - Updated - - -

Dont care dont evwn wanna heaf jt idgaf about them anymkre either

- - - Updated - - -

I dont want anyone jn my head, tired of the voicrs i nust hate being forced fo live like them

- - - Updated - - -

Anr i hate being forced to live like them

- - - Updated - - -

Pkeasd please please dont evdf ldf me go back to hin for mkre abuse eitver

- - - Updated - - -

Dont xare god wil tell me what happebed

- - - Updated - - -

No onrelse will

- - - Updated - - -

I widh i could smoke inside i hate bejng on public display when jm sivk lime thus

- - - Updated - - -

Who did this tk me and my ljfe and why?

- - - Updated - - -

How god even let them

- - - Updated - - -

Wr defibtley dont have tve same god i know tbat