A Disciple's Thread

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For some reason my instagram has been disabled and I can’t get it my other account either for 48 hours - people are straight assholes

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They won’t let me post on any of my ig accounts

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That’s my life line and mental health

[YG]

Gee I wonder why

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They won’t let me post on my instagram again

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Ok I can on my other one…

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Probably cause I can prove my electronics keep fucking with my head

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Patriot act says you can look but you can’t touch guys

[CLA203]

Can the site do me a favor and disclose the link dock comment - hell no after that gang rape

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Pink dick*

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The old man is REALLY CREEPING ME OUT

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Not you mother fucker

[Wordz AhGod.]

I respect you so much for rambling non-stop in this thread like this for this long. I remember convos about banning you for spamming and me telling people to let you at it, shit wasn't bothering nobody any ways. Now look how far you've come. I mean, you didn't go far; you're still saying the same internal monologue in circles, but I hope it's at least been therapeutic for you to do so.

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Get them off my phone odc who they are I’ve had the worst weekend ever

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Been seeing shit out the corner of my eye - someone sent a hit

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I knew you were alive - we didn’t have texts back then… come see me it’s important

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I love all your new shit

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You gonna.be fine… WE gonna be fine

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Do you have Jicera or at least know where she is?

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I didn’t mind getting shot it was the defrib that hurt LMFAO

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I lost 5 weeks though

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For a minute I was about to get a DNR order it hurt so bad but I’m ok

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I feel you I can’t tell the difference between. Death and inanity anymore

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It was you wasn’t it?

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Thought he was just stressed and lost weight

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I feel alone very alone

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How about you?

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I’m not with that bitching humiliate type shit… do you know how mad I got at axle for the.now you don’t walk so proud line

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I. About bigging people up not tearing them down

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Ced came home reeking of garlic and jumped from the bed to the floor when I turned over he said he couldn’t do this and slept in the kids room - that’s the closest to anybody telling me what’s going on

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I punched the dash and the corner of my ajrbag popped out that kept L in check LOL

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They ride me they can hold me down so bad that I can’t even move

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Tied*

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Someone from a wayyyyy deeper and darker circle chasing me and won’t leave me alone

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It’s creepy as fuck

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I’m pissed about Jayme so you better explain for real

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And my father

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Enterprise is ours he called me to say he wrote off the rental and that’s when I realized I didn’t have an episode and run out of gas

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I had a DOA years prior destroyed on arrival so we chuckled I would’ve never put it together otherwise

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Yeah in the ambulance the cop said I fell out the car saying me? Shoe? I didn’t realize he was talking about me

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When I bled out and the hotel didn’t even call us - I’m not so scared pac I’m ok

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I’m stronger than most people realize especially mentally

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The bed was covered a stream to the bathroom running across the living room to the shower and a puddle on the.bathrooom floor

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I thought it was weird that they didn’t call

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I can’t see in the dark anymore what did they do to my eyes?

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Felt like pins every night for years - they said it was cataracts

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Why did I get dropped all night when they hurt me in Myrtle beach? My head and my pinky

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I stole a lex running but that’s a little too extreme.

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Esse ain’t Spanish I know that too

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I GOT AN ENTIRE LIST ALMOST EVERYBODY

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I thought he snitched on Bessie and got mad

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I don’t play that shit the job hard enough as is

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My dad was so happy that I was starting to wake up on my birthday that year they tried to od me and I woke up u. Mental - he loved you to death

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Did you see what the geniuses did to my left wrist when I’m a lefty - not scared I’m very angry instead

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That people like that think I’m less than them

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I’ll never be a suicide pac NEVER

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Sometimes I want to go hide too

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Especially all them years they were publicly raping and torturing me

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My hands I think were acid

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It was too bad to be wind burned

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They scarred bad but healing

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There’s 4 apartment on the top floor and I got scared when 2 maybe even 3 of them were empty - I’m lucky the people down stairs heard me

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Just screamed needle in my sleep all night my dad told me they called

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I think he figured out what was going on and that’s why he drunk himself to death cause it was his own network

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He was drug testing me too and could’ve proved j was sober

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He knew I don’t do drugs like that I barely even drink

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I love coke cause it counteracts the fog of all the psych meds and my days are longer than 7 hits - I hate sleeping like that

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Hrs*

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Who choked me like that and why rape and torture?

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Sodimy too and I don’t even do anal

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Shit coming out of me when I’m a condom girl to begin with it felt so fucking gross in my own body and still does sometimes

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I was tense all the time that it hurt to touch my skin so my mom got me massages for a year until the creeper was on my ass for 45 minutes which is why I stopped

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Old white men just freak me the fuck out type gross

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We got to move fast my step dad real sick

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Kidneys

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He can’t even walk up the stairs without getting winded and he not even on dialysis yet

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When I tried to walk out on an anaphylactic then they finally took me in… I was waiting so long I was starting to feel. Better - a poblano pepper on the gauc. Jurger at Red Robin which was never a problem.before

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I knew in my heart you were ok

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I remember a lot my entire life line was us in Myrtle beach and all the flashes

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Just put together all the things that didn’t make sense - the lies they told to cover it up were impossible as I remembered them

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It’s still hard to believe I have a daughter

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Like my mom making me pull down my pants to prove I had my period and stuff like that

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I thought it cause they thought 59 was my babies dad probably cause his baby mom was a dancer too

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50*

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And for my father they can go fuck themselves too

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Not that desperate to be down

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Do you know how good my dad was to me? He was my angel almost my entire life

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The gangsters loved him too

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He probably is where I get my heart from

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The owner of the lex spoke with my father he explained what happened and he didn’t more like wouldn’t press charges

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I was lucky as fuckkkkkkkk

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My laywer only charged us $1200

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Nobody likes rape NOBODY

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Is that 5 months still over my head though or does it ever go away?

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6* six mobths

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Every time I get back in the gym they make me sick again why?

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I DESPISE THAT DOPE HEAD

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Lying to me the entire time I hardly even knew him

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If I did it I would f even get a slap on my hand. But to be honest they nothing to me so why even bother

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They’re the ones that swear they so important and all that

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Trucks please I’m hardly even hurt tolerated you that’s all

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Grateful to hopefully be free

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Thought I had to forgive them but still didn’t realize the magnitude of what they really did

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Manny like a little. Brother I never had - if you think I’m pissed about mingo I know in my heart they hit Ming too - my roads were cutting off too and I’m vexed about that and how manny hardly has his family like that. Being so young - he cool as fuck

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And got studio.skills too

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I pared an underwater shot Ming said WTF and it snapped me out of it that’s why I stopped posting stuff like that - he was dead only a few days to weaks later

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His undercover nick is Q tip

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Or just Q

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My family technically floral park but could walk to queens

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My pop pop lived one block from the race track

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I haven’t seen my hell mates son since I kept screaming in the car cause my roads were cutting off thank god he was driving and not me but it sucks I can’t hang with his baby anymore now either

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You hallucinate like your on the road and then it’s woods type shit or I can’t explain it

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Something kn the road and you swerve stuff like that

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I have peoples I love still I just keep them far away for now

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I ain’t forget my Hail Mary day ones trust

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Everyone else claims they scared of me FOR WHAT? I’m so chill and laid. Back I don’t even. Fight unless stepped upon

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I figured it out… it’s mine that’s why

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Wwyd?

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I wanna keep it for a SVU department cause mental off the fucking hook

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The police are too

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Danbury made me come in from NYC at 2am to prove I didn’t hit a car that was illegally parked to even begin with- Naugatuck had my back

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It’s the ONLY precinct I trust

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Cause a fucking dope head crack bead said I did

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I’m sure she got paid to

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Gods plan home it ain’t mine

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Did the cop that held up that book bag back in 96 retire yet? Like wtf

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It was an accident I didn’t realize she snuck the weed in my car when she knew we were going to file a report

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That didn’t click until I got shot either

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They were searching for bats - he even went to a judge to have me arrested for it but the judge said no

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Every time I got in the slightest trouble he was there

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I thought he had a crush on my mom or something

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A NF cop did

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Ripped up my warrant for her once

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I wasn’t allowed to get my license until I was 18 for stealing cars but I did 4 months before I turned 18

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My FAMILIES cars

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I just like cars LMFAO

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I wonder if my boys even realized I was driving illegally cause she let me lol

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I stole that car so much - I’d take the phone off the hook if I called and it rang u.knew she knew but nah I. Barely got caught

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One time I fell down the stairs and Dana was like should we wait and I was like nah come on

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Even Ced used to steal the car I woke up at 4am and it was gone h had to leave the house so my mom thought I had it

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I was so mad he made a key

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My mom had a love hate relationship with Ced

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She left us the condo but then came home on a spot check and he was smoking weed and I was sleep and she got so mad she kicked us.both out

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I’m sure my step dad was in her ear about how expensive it was to keep

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My mom was a secretary and my step dad a warehouse manager

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My pop pop was an accountant and miraculously bought att stock before it boomed so my GMA helped us a lot

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My GMA. Bought the condo

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my mom was still a switch board operator then

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She didn’t have to work my dad used to be rich

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She started by modeling costumes when she was planning to leave my dad

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All assets were frozen she left with her jewelry and Acura integra

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Her alimony and child support was like $5k a month when it was final

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She was still addicted to shopping and qvc at the door was a running joke with me and my friends there was always a package

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My mom cute as fuck I wish I can be just half of her again

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She taught me so much

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I liked no matter how scary my friends looked or came to the door beat up etc - she never even flinched and always helped

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I. Defiantly not scrappy

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She knew we were selling weed but was proud I was in school and had a job and not on drugs

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I never had to ask her for money

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The. She blamed herself when I got sick for letting me

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Ma chill it’s still my saving grace

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She actually does know my history guns and all

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I tell her everything when I know the coast is clear

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Saw her crying I underneath the table once and it changed me…. Not hollins being killed

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They just have to pay her.back she’s been financing me since 2012

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I have no clue who

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Psych lied k. The file and said it was cause someone killed themselve in front of me

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Now they? They some authors for real

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At the third page I almost threw up the entire file is a lie

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I sent it to 50 at interscope

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It’s like 2 feet thick but I’m wondering how cause I always changed drs

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And they were all saying my old drs wouldn’t tell them nothing

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Well since I have brain damage I feel they should be treated like real medical records too

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PISSED

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But I can dunctipn again and then they come back type thru me make me sick

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Finction* exhibit a

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If they go away I’ll ne fine

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If the Feds were watching do they remember me crying running out of work cause I know they were back when I typed die to muscle and they haven’t left or stopped yet

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Die to myself* and it’s not cute or funny to me

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PAC… were you supposed to pick me up when I ran away and send the police?

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I remember bleeding bad and leaving it on the basement step and police bench - I just want the entrance to belly 5 with the same acapellp in 1 then then they do 3 and 4 (lol Wayne for real bitches skipping scenes)

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Running thru the woods to get.caught by my sister and mom on the other side they took me to police

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That’s when they ripped up my warrant

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My fire song

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It’s PACs in my opinion

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Just have that part and maybe like 3-5 others - you down?

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Where did the.belly part go?

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My no means no too and they’re oussing me off

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@Word z_ahgod I remember you too always affiliated it with nas type vibe and thank you it’s truly therapeutic and maybe I can help write a movie then book that helps the next ones to climb out too. Thanks for the feedback it does mean a lot

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I graduate hair school in 3 months that’s a huge accomplishment for someone like me too

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@yg LMFAO

[CLA203]

Pac thry krep saging k is you and not t

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And everybody believe them and not me

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Sick twistwd old man needto go away ive been hearing him sincd rhe gangrape

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Itbhurts them to heae not me anymore

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Pac ill tell you

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Yeah my dogs chains again... Im fine ill necer be scafex of sokdne that cant scwn face myface

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Cant come to my face*

[CLA203]

Pac if thar was just ob you... Then fuvk you too

[CLA203]

My biggest regret was not reporting an ex who was hittimg and now i get hit again.z.. Why when i can just walk away right?

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Wwyd?

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He fucked my face up bad and it hurts like a bitch too

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Missed my third Saturday from school it’s always on Friday night

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I’m TAF

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Funny my soul was crying about an hour or two before… that’s when you’re eyss tear for no reason

[CLA203]

The old man in McDonalds with a wig on a computer - I think that’s the creeper the McDonald’s by my school

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The way he smiled when I walked in and the wig and prunes

[CLA203]

Idk how they do it either but it was the exact smile Nancy made when me and Tim drove by right on time and L said at least I got to do what I wanted to do and then one time an old classmate was by a party bus

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Atleast I got to do what I wanted to do today*

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It’s ok I rather be dead then their bitch anyway

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The creeper who parked behind me and I hit his car he went thru my insurance

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I’m like 90% sure it was the same man in McDonald’s

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PAC I know that you are still alive and don’t give a fuck and won’t help me either you let them too

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I waited 8 years

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Suicide yeah right I’ll kill before that

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Get the beast off me it’s gross

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If I had any friends it’d be easier. But I won’t cave

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I know what I’m worth and deserve besides my craziness and being a human. Toy

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I haven’t shed one tear yet and refuse ro

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Refuse to*

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How did I become so hated?

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I don’t want anything to do with their elite ass family for real

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I rather. Be beat and raped then have anything to do with that dope head

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Set me up from day 1 and ruined my entire life 9x now

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I hate their family they’re abusing and disrespecting the shit out of me forcing my body and biting my cheek and shit - no thank you don’t want anything they got

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God fucking with me and all these voices in my head won’t shut up

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I don’t like it and don’t want to live my life like them

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I’m a hair dresser - I know a wig when I see one it was blonde

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And he had a hat on too

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I’m tired of that sick fucking freak and his pi wi a playground

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I didn’t give my body to nobody or other god

[CLA203]

Nothing but my worst nightmares come true