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Thread: Sh*t Happpens

  1. #1
    Kevx301
    Guest

    Sh*t Happpens

    I'm sittin' in school
    Like a god damn fool
    Listenin' to bull shite
    Slammin' the desk hard
    With all my might
    I'm just a whiteboy
    With straights ass D's
    I'm getting spanked with a ruler
    Blood drippin', I'm down on my knees
    I'm cryin' to mommy
    She tried to comfort me
    But she slipped on my salami
    I said back off hoe
    I don't swing that way
    I ran to the street
    Their was a Jamaican playin on his drums
    What a cool ass beat
    I tried to grab my skateboard
    But a dog bit me hard
    I said get the hell off
    But it called me a retard
    I said what the? You can't talk
    It bit me again
    Then let out a huge bark

  2. #2
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    wack...that is all
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  3. #3
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Awards LLL Season Champion LLL HOF 200+ Wins
    Actually...

    I was with this (in a shaky, listenin to a newb kinda way) for a bit...

    Then you went and fucked it all up with the "salami/mama" shit.

    Why'd you decide to kill something that had potential?

    Huh?

    The "dog" thing at the end was pretty weird.

    But it reminded me of an old SNL Eddie Murphy character, Tyrone Green...

    He wrote and recited weird ass funny rhymes from a jail cell...

    Literally, like 20 years ago.

    So, I even flowed with the ending a bit too.

    But that shit in the middle kinda made me wanna hurl.

    Peace

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    The Good- Flow, atleast it was there.

    The Bad- Everything else. Simplistic rhymes, low vocab. Pretty much a joke.

    Hopefully it was intended to be wack.

    Up EVERYTHING in your repretoire.

    -Formula.

  5. #5
    huh?

    you know i liked..some of the shit you had to say but you could definitley improve your vocab and rhyming cuz, damn man... it was funny though

  6. #6
    Banned
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    well this was ok...you should try to make your lines a little longer though for structure wise...up your vocab....try using some multies and internals for the flow...structure needs some work...but keep at it....and keep dropping.

  7. #7
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    Yea ima say wat basicall wat Masta C said it was allrite but ya line a too short no great vocab and u should try and use multies.

    Aiight Peace (v)

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