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Thread: No Love

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Lulong's Avatar
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    No Love

    Haven't been able to drop for awhile real life shits been crazy anyways i did a quick song (it flows perfect with the instrumental i was listening to), didnt have time to "screw with teh structure" as you would put it, its jus how i rap i use pauses to my advantage and it sounds good now if only i could get my mic back up and workin.. anyways here it is.. hook might need some touchin up.. but it works....

    No love, No love, No love, No love, No love!!

    mo slugs in the chamber
    your lifes in danger
    No need to explain your situation
    Facing you has often been a temptation
    gloves off, guns up
    cock back pop a hollow point through your back
    no, wait, stay in control of this
    use your mind, not your fists
    patience, patience
    thats all the advice I got from my therapist
    She told me its all in my mind, stupid bitch
    well if so many things are fucked up at a time
    Mabye I should forget this rhyme and throw down for a dime
    but don't you see, lately fates been against me
    been misused, abused, and thrown into a tube
    fightin for a new way to make a buck
    stuck in a nightmare and all outta luck
    fucked up and fiendin for what could be rat poison
    but its what ive been dealin, and i wont go as low to stealin
    feelin hurt but my body been dealt a curse
    been havin dreams of me leavin in a hearse
    crooked ties and no good lies will probably lead to my demise
    cries from a crooked mother as her son gets killed by another

    No love, No love, No love, No love, No love!!

    I remember back in the old days
    before I learned to pick up a guage
    father never cared for me
    he was never there for me
    but where was she? when I cried for help
    my father drunk, and me a little whelp
    I aint mad atcha, no worries
    cause all that are left are blurries
    faded images of abuse
    mabye its why im not quick to say truce
    and usually end up drawin for my duece duece

    No love, No love, No love, No love, No love!!

    Been fucked by friends in the past
    So I say fuck em all and keep my eyes on my cash
    flashback to when my first real friend turned snitch
    bitch told everyone I was dealin and smokin, now hes in a ditch
    So I dont keep anyone close, call me a coward
    but for now i know, that i hold the power
    like a flower on a bud late to bloom
    if its kept in the darkness its bud will boom
    so lets assume, I am the flower and now your only choice is to cower
    [Gun cracks] (POP POP POP)
    [fade hook]
    No love, No love, No love, No love, No love!!
    ~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~?
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    to all thats fun">

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! DocDizzie's Avatar
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    It was straight i feel ya anger in it. Im not saying it was like one of the illest i ever heard but it was coo.
    End of all game you have chosen ya path.

    Now you too can be a victom of DocDizzie's Wrath

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Lulong's Avatar
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    feed

    uppin for feedback!
    ~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~?
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    to all thats fun">

  4. #4
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    Ok this was alright....your lines should be around the same length to help the structure of it, try to work on that....flow was alright could be better...your vocab was ok, should be up'd a little....your structure needs some work....try adding some multies and internals to help th flow...but it was a Ok piece....keep at it....and keep dropping.

  5. #5
    .:alliK:.
    Guest
    word to doc dizzie, nice piece good vocab and shit, keep droppin...

  6. #6
    PillBoy
    Guest
    nice spittin i felt it str8 up,kinda felt like i was inside it for a few mins.anyways keep doin what u doin and u'll improve.holla.

  7. #7
    KLINIK
    Guest
    this was game tight! i liked it .. it had me makin images in my mind .. good drop! keep that shit up gangsta .. get at me!

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Lulong's Avatar
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    Feedback

    yo thanks for the replies, still uppin for feedback, also check out my new open mic, "Rules of The Game" if you liked this piece you will love that one.
    peace
    ~?~?~?~?~?~~?~?~?~?~?~?
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