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Thread: The Truth

  1. #1
    Banned
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    The Truth

    No reason to fight-the-lies..cause I have the right-to-die..
    Sooner or later..ill be on my way to the flight-in-skies..
    Nothings-the-same and im not fronting-my-game..
    You think im joking? I think not, bluffings-for-lames..
    Times counting-down..and Im bouncing-out..
    My failure..im gonna start announcing-now…
    No truth behind-lies..cause you see-my-eyes..
    Full of hate and death, cause thee-mind-dies..
    Its hard to find-trust…and mines-tough..
    And more minutes I spend, makes time-rough..
    I can afford-shame..brings me more toward-lame..
    Cause I get played more than a fucking board-game..
    You think me-joken..no, you just overly-spoken..
    Cause healed wounds…just got re-opened..
    Im on-the-edge..cause it’s the dawn-of-death..
    Cause after this I wont be able to spawn-a-breath..
    Frowns-no-smiles..cause being downs-my-style..
    Just leave me be, while I go drown-a-while…
    Im leaving-a-note..cause right now breathings-a-joke..
    And if you ask me, im a loser seeing-no-hope

    I was just writing how i felt...leave me some feedback, thanks.

  2. #2
    Newbie Mic~Chemist's Avatar
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    damn kid ucame hard as fuk sum good ass mulites
    Ill ass mulites hit hard
    feelin it
    Last edited by Mic~Chemist; October 27th, 2003 at 02:16 AM

  3. #3
    Newbie Mic~Chemist's Avatar
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    Last edited by Mic~Chemist; October 27th, 2003 at 02:16 AM

  4. #4
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    Thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

  5. #5
    Ken Dawg
    Guest
    Aight aight..looks good..seen better..but looks good. Just keep working on your multis and beats..and you got it in the bag yo. Its all good peace out yo...

  6. #6
    Funn DementaLL
    Guest
    rather enjoyed the read... I think I've read a better post from you somewhere down the line... but, liked the topic
    (which never seems to get boring)

    I did see a meaning, a measage, a feeling (what I mean by topic)
    In your peice

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yo bro. pretty good piece was a real easy read, u had a real nice use of multi's and some good wordplay and your rhyme scheme was pretty basic. some tight structure in this piece to and ur flow was pretty good. but all in all good piece bro keep droppin.

    oh and another thing masta. I wanted to ask u if u wanted to do another up beat collab again sometime, u up for it?
    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

    <center>Corrupted Visions</center>

    <center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

    Act One:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>
    Polished and refined to bring a new groove to crews/
    gestures meaning lesser to negotiations between me and you/
    so what’s this heartache all of a sudden edge’in to your seat/
    fuck it, cement shoes and 200 feet oughta be pretty sweet/</table>


    Words of Wisdom:

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    color="blue"><table style=filter:GLOW(color=white)>it's perplexity set in a realism of our world/
    it's textual content, stepping stones on broken pearls/
    if wisdom is a need be vent for visualizing truth/
    then let be proof, demise the break between adults and youth/</table>

  8. #8
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    good drop, nice wordplay an strucrture, i think u came hard in some lines but some cud haveb been more thought out but good drop keep it up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  9. #9
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    first off Masta, ma dawg, overall it was a decent enough read, it had some feeling in it, and you made good use of ya multis, though i thought the structure was a bit eratic, which knocked the flow in places, but in most it was good, keep it up...aight.......peace
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  10. #10
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    Hey thanks for the feedback so far, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

  11. #11
    The R in RB.Com
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    this is funny...your whole crew loves you...
    but then again your pretty good

    your topic choice was good and you stuck with the feeling.... id suggest to upp your word choice....find different ways to say the same thing... it would help you out
    sometimes you dont have to spell it out for the reader...if you make then think they will probably enjoy the piece more

    good work here kid

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  12. #12
    Banned
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    Hey thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

  13. #13
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    I wanna get some more feedback on this, uppping for some more feedback, if you check it out leave some feedback, its much appreciated, thanks.

  14. #14
    m.B.p.
    Guest
    fuckin raw, all i need to say

  15. #15
    Banned
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    Hey thanks for the feedback, keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, thanks.

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