Hot Shit (yall Gotta Check This Out,and Feedback Would Be Nice)

[Spike Sanders]

HOT SHIT


Yo,yo, you must want "drama", trying ta fuck with the "king"//
you need ta wear sunblock to guard you from the "heat" that I bring//
Ill let you see the light like a "lantern", cause I keep that "green" in the jungle like a cheeta or panther//
Im a "Heavy Hitter" and ive had "enuff" of this shit//
"whoos squad" wants war, cause its "terror'' i spit//
I keep chips like Microsoft, you dudes just "micro soft"//
and its bullets that I send yo//
you stay inside watchin the world through "Windows"// not "Bill" but ill send you to see them "Gates"//
I keep 50 in the bank like the United States//
I am sweetness, like "Waltor"//
"Payton" ill put your brains on those walls and pavement//
you cant "Bear" to see white rip the mic with such force//
I " see biskuts" like the movie bout the race horse//
I stayed " Paid In Full'' an ill never be "State Property", all up in the air got these damn feds watchin me//
call me "MJ", cause when i "shoot" you "Jump Man",like land fills , cause the pund will "dump" man//
i aint havin no "Bull"//
cause im a "Wizard" with the "Heat" dun//
the "Magic" i pull will put "Bullets" in your "Cavs" the size of the "Sun"//
yall smerf dudes like "sonic", ya need ta duck and run// cause i got bullets that ell "Pierce" your back like Pauls jersey// you wanna play for the lakers but muthafucka you aint "Worthy"


CAN I GET SOME FEED BACK ON THIS PIECE.

[Seklusion]

Hmm..all your quotations kinda bugged me out at first...but not all that bad..could use some work, but with practice, I guess...

Favorite Line: Ill let you see the light like a "lantern", cause I keep that "green" in the jungle like a cheeta or panther//

Try to make less references..you dont need to word play everything to make a good point..but, overall, it wasn't bad..
Keep it up..

[Spike Sanders]

ty nigga i understand what your sayin, thx. uppin

[Spike Sanders]

somebody fuckin give some feed back, goddamn sleepers.
UPPIN

[Spike Sanders]

what the fuck, man somebody rep this, im sick of all these godamn
sleepers, FUCK. UPP

[rule]

good shit man, you had a good flow and some nice multies an punches, try to keep elaveten like us all..an i garentee you'll inhance your vacab and your work will even open your eyes peaz