peace within peace

[younglion]

listen my guardian angel usually know how i feel talkn to my spirit or sumthing
wen ya puffin on dro worth stuffing in a j my homey askd 1st
gave him the paper took it n rollld it i call it a tree shits tighter
then a virgin n none of us got girlfriends hollah jah alrdy got our love
puff puff give n go people tell me take it to the brain
but it makes me wanna cough some more
jus a 360 circle of homeys attitude fuck it vibe good
conversation always gud subjects talkn bout mortal combat
why they dident let u use liu kangs numchucks
wat up some homeys come head nodding handing me some dro
wat oh that alien technology that sounded dope
it smelling stronger lungs feel wit hope but we alrdy blown
no pressure full body releave stressor
bad shit that u did telln us witout asking herb confesor
im here to hear but really without yall n me n the herb
feel better together yah haha even witout it its growing feel me

[C#]

I think this could use some grammatical, spelling, and punctuation corrections, because it obscures the meaning and impact of the piece itself. I couldn't quite clearly decipher any message or denote any rhymescheme from it.

[Moonkloud]

With words one should ask ourself what do we add to the conversation when we say things. This piece was a little confusing. Ide try more rime sckemes and poetic devices.

Keep getting up !

[Illustrious.]

you really need to review your writing...seems like a lot of mistakes. but for the story it was mehhh. could be more detailed and story like.

[FokFoteonWaky]

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[Scripter]

Yeah I agree with everyone else this was a waste of my time, although in the beginning it did have some good flow

listen my guardian angel usually know how i feel talkn to my spirit or sumthing
wen ya puffin on dro worth stuffing in a j my homey askd 1st
gave him the paper took it n rollld

After that I didn't understand much of it.