User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Last Star Dies

  1. #1
    getcha fix SirusX 2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    443
    Battle Record
    8-10

    Last Star Dies

    Just because someone thinks something exists doesn't mean theyre wrong or right. Does it? If each snow-flake is unique why does snow look the same? Fortune smiles on you when you smile. Say cheese.

    "Say please, you can't have it until you say the magic word."

    Oliver didn't believe in magic. To Oliver, magic was as real as tv wrestling. Monsters of men performing scripted acrobatic combat dressed in tights and flamboyant costumes with extravagant aliases. Magic is nothing more than illusion, the hand is quicker than the eye. Misdirection however cunning, is nothing more than a lie. Deception is the devils work, but does the devil exist? Did god create man or did man create god? Man lies, that's why Oliver likes the clouds. The clouds are never dishonest, but the clouds block the sun. It's a sunny July afternoon and Oliver wants to light a firework before the celebration tonight.

    Oliver will 34 next month, and has anticipated his birthday for months counting down the days on his famous faces calendar his mother gave him for Christmas. Oliver or Love as his mother calls him has lived at home since he was 21. When Oliver was 19 he crashed his black ford mustang into a lightpost two blocks from the West Lincon Medical Center. Oliver was intoxicated at the time of the accident and suffered permenant brain and spinal cord damage. The trunk of the mustang was full of old news papers and milk jugs of extacy and LSD . The police estimated the street value of the dozen milk jugs at the time was worth nine hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Officers were not willing to make a statement because of the severity of the crash and the of time it took a medical team to respond being so close to the hospital.
    remember death...

  2. #2
    Insipire.create.destroy illuminare.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Midwest
    Posts
    76

    Re: Last Star Dies

    This story is cool but I wish it was longer

  3. #3
    Touch My Beard Extinctor Draconis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    country road
    Age
    34
    Posts
    13,786

    Re: Last Star Dies

    I enjoyed the general tone of your writing, but I feel like it lacked any direction. First paragraph was all over the place, would of been good if you left out the section about god and the devil; it riddled us nonsensical delusion, that didn't help us to understand the character anymore.Overall I think you could of pruned a few sentences, but it was decent
    De Kapitein

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Kailua
    Posts
    88
    Battle Record
    1-3

    Re: Last Star Dies

    pretty cool

  5. #5
    Burning Tracks Since 96' Moonkloud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    907
    Posts
    58

    Re: Last Star Dies

    This story was gripping ,,,

    Sad ending for oliver Dident see that coming

    Keep Getting Up !

Similar Threads

  1. Star Light, Star Bright (Dedication)
    By N.F.M. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: June 10th, 2011, 03:54 PM
  2. High school basketball star dies after making game
    By AlphaMetric in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 13th, 2011, 05:19 AM
  3. 'Jaws' Star Roy Scheider Dies at 75
    By Leonidas in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: February 11th, 2008, 10:08 AM
  4. Sam died.. UGLIEST DOG ALIVE, dies as a star...
    By Edicius in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: November 28th, 2005, 07:06 PM
  5. star light star bright.
    By Sand in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: April 29th, 2003, 02:00 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •