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Thread: tryin to elevate here (feedback needed)

  1. #1
    e.coli
    Guest

    tryin to elevate here (feedback needed)

    yo nigga im simalar to an elevator cause im all about elevation/
    my dick causes bitches and hoes mass salivation/

    im raw nigga i dont give a fuck piss me off and i will rip out yo liver/
    im like "karl" cause im the "mailman" when it comes to rappin i always "deliver"/

    nigga i got hell-a-dough im fuckin rich call me a ghetto casino/
    battlin me is an automatic blow out like eminim battlin benzino/

    bitches need to get it straight there not respectable there just tricks/
    call me "payton" cause im "man-ing" you bitch wit my dick/

    nigga i make my money by pimpin hoes and slangin rocks/
    right now i have only "2" enemies and they bouts to get gunned down like "pac"/

    holla at yo boi
    give me some feedback
    ~1~

  2. #2
    e.coli
    Guest
    uppin fo feedback come on people dont sleep give me some honest feedback.

    .................................................. .................................................. ...............................
    DONT SLEEP
    holla at yo boi
    ~1~

  3. #3
    e.coli
    Guest
    uppin again

    somebody please give me some feedback.

    dont sleep on this

    .................................................. .................................................. ..................
    holla at yo boi
    ~1~

  4. #4
    a fucking savage
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Detroit, MI
    Posts
    5,760
    Battle Record
    70-41
    Awards SAP Champion 50+ Wins
    yoo good shit...

    much room 4 improvement..

    not bad wordplay
    flow...could get betta
    but good material
    multies..will get betta
    good metas

    overall not a bad piece...

    keep uppin

    peace
    A.rtificial I.ntelligence

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  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! MonStar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    O H 10
    Posts
    240
    Battle Record
    1-0
    ok, flow wasnt bad, vocab decent, wordplay and punches where pretty good...multies could use a lil work..overall not that bad...keep dropping...


    im raw nigga i dont give a fuck piss me off and i will rip out yo liver/
    im like "karl" cause im the "mailman" when it comes to rappin i always "deliver"/

    liked that shit the most ^

    if you get a chance peep my latest open mic and leave me some feedback...
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=83967

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    Purgatory
    Age
    39
    Posts
    66
    Battle Record
    0-1
    hey yo that piece was pretty dope man....
    could improve it by having beter multi's....
    your word play is good but can be improved upon to....
    but overall i think that this was some dope shit man.....
    keep elevating..................
    <center>My skills of 'naration' are elevatin beyond 'examination'..</center>
    <center>So hit the 'snare-an-bass-an' pass me the mic to brainwash this 'racist nation'.../<--me</center>
    <center>
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    yo give a fair vote......

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  7. #7
    e.coli
    Guest
    thanks fo the feed back my niggas.

    .................................................. .................................................. ..............
    holla at yo boi
    ~1~

  8. #8
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    40
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10
    not to bad i didnt like it but i have an aqquired ear for a certain type of hip hop, but improvment is needed and tha skill to utilize that improvment is there, you structure was good, rhyme scheme was aiight, i thought your lines were to stretched out, u should drop tha gangsta style, cause that doesnt help your flow, you should elevate your skill before you put down your persona, uh u need multis multis will help your flow, other than that it wasnt that bad,keep elevatin and keep droppin.~1~


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  9. #9
    e.coli
    Guest
    thanks fo the feedback my niggas.

    ..................,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    holla at yo boi
    ~1~

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