My Pencil

[Artikqlit]

Been A While Since I Wrote..
Key'd This Up In 15 Mins..

Power, Will, Strength - All Come From Tha Led With-In
Be-gin To See Shit - Some Say Tha Pencil Will Sin
Violins . . . Come From Wood, Tha Pulp Of All Intuition
Acquisitions Fill’n Positions . . . Daily News Provisions
Collisions Wit Law - Either Fall Or Keep Write’n
Ignite’n Flames, Keep Burnin’, Tha Tip Stays Fite’n,
Thru Nite,-Nd Like Bathrooms, Sometimes Are Shit May Stall,
Or Fall . . . Can’t Call! But Tha Flow Never Stops At All!
Stay Calm . . . Tha Gov Can’t Take Away Wut We Choose-Ta-Speak
All Unique In Our Views, Write Wut U Feel, Fukk A Critique!
Starts On One Sheet . . . Elite, One Form Of Labor
A Life Savor . . . Wut’s Done, U Can’t D/Lete, No Eraser,
No Back-Spacer, Have Faith, Say A Pray’er, Hope To Sustain
Make Or Break - Keep Tha Pencil’s Ability In Tha Bakk Of Ya Brain!!

Blah . . . Upp'n For Feedbakk

[Artikqlit]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=83951
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=84159

[The Realist]

aight...1st off...given this is text you dont have to make it look good
i.e. stay away from hypens, quotes, // etc.

the flow was good... stayed easy to read
the vocab was well used... keep it up
the topic was kinda hard to get but u stayed on it..somehow
the closer was good...nice way to wrap it up
upping for u
keep it up...and thanx for feedback
next time just drop link at end of you post as such
www.rapbattles.com

[Artikqlit]

Thanks . . .
Upp'n For More Feed..
Don't Sleep

[KingOfKings]

what i liked about it most was the flow and lil use of vocab

good drop to say

holla

[Artikqlit]

Thanks . . .
Go In More Depth
Upp'n

[Pugilist]

good flow and vocab. This was a pretty good piece. My fav lines:

'Power, Will, Strength - All Come From Tha Led With-In
Be-gin To See Shit - Some Say Tha Pencil Will Sin'

'Stay Calm . . . Tha Gov Can’t Take Away Wut We Choose-Ta-Speak
All Unique In Our Views, Write Wut U Feel, Fukk A Critique!'

and from there on to the end i thought was the strongest part of the verse...nice lil drop.

[Artikqlit]

Thanks..
Upp'n

[cutastraphe]

No doubt i was feelin it, good write. The concept is used allot but overall you expressed well wut ya wanted to flip and had a good flow with it. I liked the closer as well. keep it up

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