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Thread: Different Hearts

  1. #1
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Different Hearts

    Ehhh, Im Kinda Caught In The Middle Right Now, I Really Like Her But Im Not Sure How She Feels So i Hopped On A Collab With My Girl Brazy, To Try And Let You KNow Whats Up. .



    [ Camarac ]

    This raptures perfect. .
    Your beauties More Than skin deep, & i scratched the surface
    Yet, im mad nervous. .
    Stuck for words when we speak, so i retreat an Act Worthless.
    Longing for Her Kiss. .
    And Often i Sit, Amazed, Caught in a Gaze as you flirt w/ guys
    It Hurts My Eyes. .
    but i aint fazed, im counting the days til your the girl in my life.

    'Till i can tell the world your mine, and feel your lips cold taste
    Because you and me, girl, we go hand in hand like Prom dates
    Ive seen the Long Faces on jealous men as we've walked past
    But love was just another Four letter word that i couldnt grasp
    Maybe i Shouldnt Have been so reluctant to let u notice things,
    And shared with you my every thought, my hopes and dreams
    But u mean so much to me, & every moment of thought spent
    is dedicated to you mentally, cuz i cant get you out of my head
    & yet Perfect Harmony's Found beneath that Mahogony Brown
    w/ that smile that could rid any problem thats Gotten Me Down. .

    [ Baby Brazy ]

    Hearin your words makes me smile, it clears my sadness inside
    But we cant risk our friendship and have our madness collide
    Yet put the bad things aside, just let me open up my mind
    Im searchin for a soulmate & your the best that I could find
    Heres where problems get entwined, for example is this fate
    Are we in love together, or does somewhere there exist hate
    Would you miss a date, what if one of us end up cheatin
    Read stories of abusive husbands & I dont intend on gettin beatin
    What you say is never misleading, so my trust has grew
    Have the same emotions too, thats why I share my lust with you
    Guns i'd bust a few, because were still tighter then ever
    If your askin when we'll be a team tho, sorry the answers never

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! -Magnitude's Avatar
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    Dope peice man, Cam you really captured the emotion of feelings for w/e girl you are talking about, I was hanging off of every word you said like it was me in that situation, good usage of words, structure was on point like always, but the begining.. I liked it =) Worked as an opener, but wouldnt as a whole verse..

    Bazzy, not bad, decent flow, imagery, and structure, keep it up girl..

    Ive seen the Long Faces on jealous men as we've walked past
    But love was just another Four letter word that i couldnt grasp


    ^ Geez.
    EVEN BETTER OFF THE NET

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  3. #3
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    ^ It wasnt Bazzy, its Brazy - from my crew at another board. .

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  4. #4
    *Y_nOt*
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    tru, i gotta agree wit what o'boy above me done said. this was a deep peice and it created such a visual picture of what you were talkin bout and what you goin through. Both of yall verses i was feelin..word play was tiight, topic was tiight. all i can say is keep yo head up and hope for the best nah mean, be easy, 1

  5. #5
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    Yeah this was a good peice i thought, it made for a good read, your flow was good, it had a deep feeling i could relate to, your wordplay was good, your content and vocab was good as well, overall it was a good peice and worth the read.

  6. #6
    G.Hod
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    Camarac
    This is the first opportunity I had to read something of this sort that you have authored . It certainly encompassed a totally different tone and style, for that matter . It was decent, right up to the last line and *POOF! A gem-of-a-line, though not well-placed, left me awe-stricken. Personally, I feel that the line would be more suitable towards the middle of your writing, but I guess a proper structure would depend on the eye of the beholder - ya'know? I liked the poetic vibe that commenced the piece in the hook-esque first seven lines. What is your SoundClick address, by the way?

    I'm about to lose connection . . So I may have to finish the latter half of this later, sorry.



    *: A more suitable word/part-of-speech could be substituted for "POOF!" to enhance my bewilderment @ the aforementioned line.

  7. #7
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    even though ur style was simple it was apt for the chosen topic
    some of the most complex verses are simply written..
    this was a great example of that...u conveyed ur emotions really well and used some really nice metaphors and similes

    the first style set it all up really well...set the tone
    and then the second went more in depth and was pretty dope

    'But love was just another Four letter word that i couldnt grasp
    Maybe i Shouldnt Have been so reluctant to let u notice things,
    And shared with you my every thought, my hopes and dreams
    But u mean so much to me, & every moment of thought spent
    is dedicated to you mentally, cuz i cant get you out of my head
    & yet Perfect Harmony's Found beneath that Mahogony Brown
    w/ that smile that could rid any problem thats Gotten Me Down.
    ^before that i wasnt feeling the lines too much but these more than made up for it
    props
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  8. #8
    tRiPliCiTy
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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=82736

    This raptures perfect. .
    Your beauties More Than skin deep, & i scratched the surface
    Yet, im mad nervous. .
    Stuck for words when we speak, so i retreat an Act Worthless.
    Longing for Her Kiss. .
    ^^^^^^^^dope intro start, caught my attention, well flowed,
    and creative, nice intro style, kinda gripping.........
    ...........


    "Maybe i Shouldnt Have been so reluctant to let u notice things,
    And shared with you my every thought, my hopes and dreams" what
    happned cam, it seemed like you are going for that line for line
    rhyme structure, i prefer the abstractness

    Cam u had a nice starter to your verse, ender was alrite,
    meanwhile.....whats up with your style?! looks kinda simple
    and well not very complex, i mean people might like that
    but i just bah i prefer the abstractness u know what i mean,
    meanwhiel...flow was suprisingly good maybe cause u kept
    the whole thing sorta simple, nice creative and imaganative.
    .................................................. .............................

    [ Baby Brazy ]

    "Hearin your words makes me smile, it clears my sadness inside
    But we cant risk our friendship and have our madness collide"
    gripping starting..........................
    "Yet put the bad things aside, just let me open up my mind
    Im searchin for a soulmate & your the best that I could find"
    its good that u 2 are complimenting each other's styles...
    and like your both just writing from eachother's
    own perspectives that is d-ope. "because were still
    tighter then ever If your askin when we'll be a team tho,
    sorry the answers never" ha dope ender.......
    meanwhile...brazy's flow was better, but not like cam
    had no flow, brazy u were creative as hell as well
    liked your ender nice twist, muhahah cam got rejected lmao

    mean while u 2 did good, nice imaginary/creativity,
    kinda simple, but i guess not all topics can be done
    on an abstract level, flowed good, complimented each
    other's styles,.................................


    Return the favor [or a face a slow and horrible death]
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  9. #9
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    Yeah, I'll Get At it.

    This was a lot different to what i usually write, but i just needed to get it out of my system, emotionally im fucked up right now and iunno what to do about her, seriously. lol.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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  10. #10
    In Hiding MethodZ's Avatar
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    **wipes tear from eye**

    very nice man i was feelin it ALOT...

    dope keep droppin the dopeness...

    Pz...check mine and dezyirs out it is around open mic somewhere lol
    <center>REPRESENTING OZ HIP HOP</center>

  11. #11
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    dawg this was straight fire thats all i can say really........
    perfect composing thought complimination of one another .....etc
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! MonStar's Avatar
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    damn that was a real nice, deep piece....and i feel where ya coming from...i'm goin through something similar myself...anyways everything was on point, flow, wordplay, structure, vocab...it really got the point across...nothing bad to say....i was really feeling it....

    also if you ever get a chance could you go over my latest open mic and leave me some feedback or something....
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=81640

  13. #13
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    Cam this was really tight...Your imagery was amazing...You managed too capture your thoughts and you write em...The style was enticing...Everything seemed there, sorry i can't give advice but i just thought this was AMAZING

    But i know you hate hype...so

    Baby Brazy, Your verse was good wiht a solid rhyme scheme but maybe you could of incorporated some multis in...But the content and what you wanted to say was there...So props

    Holla at mine and G.Hods...Observation

    Pz
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

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  14. #14
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    This was a dope piece Cam and Brazy...Both of you were iLL...Nice imagery...And both played off of eachother nicely...I thought the ending was dope...I thought it was gonna go the opposite way...But hey...Anyway keep it up...Peace

    A.i

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    *Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit

  15. #15
    Old Skool Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    jnvgfjhyt

    WORD P e r f e c t !


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