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Thread: A Leader Among Followers

  1. #1
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    A Leader Among Followers

    with a wave of the hand rivers of blood ran rampant
    just one commandment felled enemies scewered by sanctions
    this man made Alexander the Great seem average
    a field magician whose divisions allied with tactics
    swept aside armies in a beat of hooves and arrows
    like a towering cloud his presence was earths shadow
    sunsets across his reign a reminder of wounds
    the vast force smothered lanscapes of doomed
    many religious and illiterate..but efficient killers read death
    poised arrows tipped with suffocation to bleed breath
    in a canter of dust townships were merely steppes of stone
    on the thrones haphazard stairway littered with rogues
    fearsome souls in abundance who faught in unisons image
    driven by Temujis spirit they defined the meaning of Hades witness
    great armies swarmed like hornets but his loyals froze them solid
    cold eyes faught bowed heads plaudits with blak blizzard Siberian forrests
    north hemispheres icy grasp diminished and molten
    wars new southern pastures beckoned to be taken hostage
    seizing regions by borders setting the record straight with agnostics
    a trojan mind unleashing masterful plans for domination
    at the heart of asia spreading hurricane wrath in bloods basement
    a frame of hair hid the canvas of a savages veteran wrinkles
    each one told a story of its own masquerading as simple…
    unrivalled expansion roving from the Caspian Sea to Korea
    a whirlwinds deathly storm whispered in crimes ear
    so many fine hours of a legend unsurpassed by 800 years of crescents
    lifes champion at 65 he slipped his steed and came second
    on Chinese earth his infamous wisdom smashed thru deaths door
    he'd shifted the threshold of icons angering carpenters of Thor
    at times heavily outnumbered but never out witted
    an exquisite hall of fame could be built with respect to his image
    but his proportions of mythics would equal a building of infinte

    Temujis feats conjure pictures of unimaginable gruel and deulers
    translating Genghis Kahn..he was literally Universal Ruler
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  2. #2
    Pugilist
    Guest
    man this piece was fuckin tighter then an extra small thong on a nice round ass...

    good meta's, great vocab, and it had good overall rhythm. Nice work.

  3. #3
    C-TownsFinest5
    Guest
    dat shit was da shit keep it up mane!!



    CTF(represent)

    Reply like this again and i'll bann you. Moron. - Camarac
    Last edited by Baron Mynd; September 22nd, 2003 at 04:10 AM

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! -Magnitude's Avatar
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    Good Work Fgee . .

    i really liked everything about this peice, your flow was on point and your usage of words was amazing. The opener was dope, as was the finisher, overall this peice was enjoyable to read. Keep writing because ill be looking out for more peices.

    If You Could Return The Favor:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=80973

    FaZe²-
    Last edited by -Magnitude; September 21st, 2003 at 11:06 PM
    EVEN BETTER OFF THE NET

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    [[cRiP]]
    83 K.G.C.


  5. #5
    Alias-C
    Guest
    yo, this on some Epic shit here... lol...
    Yo man, I'm feeling the worship... haha... just joking...
    Yo I liked this... felt your concept, you was true to it, and kept it strong all the way through...
    I was feeling that vocab... shit had flow...
    I liked the length too... not too long, not too short...
    Good shit man, keep droppin'

    -1-

  6. #6
    Khôi NguJin
    Guest
    fgee good stuff, rhyme scheme was nice....multis were good..i liked the flow of everything....and the excellence of this piece overall..one of the better reads on this site.

    good stuff, keep it up.

  7. #7
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    proper breakdown anyone?
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Shiznit's Thoughts:

    As far as my perspectives on it. This piece was extraordinary. It started on defining a character of a brave centurion warrior then compared him to legendary battlers of history. The imagery regained a strong aura that made the piece very much intact. How the words are incorporated and used enhanced such a positive aspect of a true writing. A man of honor from thousands of years ago are described using comparisons of epic history...but as i see it... It can be rheotrical and made it possible to just describe a simple man getting through out of the wars thats coming through and from his life. The storm that circulates back and forth but still like a cactus standing firm not hesistating the wounds that caused him.

    I am pretty much impressed of the deep terminology executed throughout. It had a very much incredible flow i followed from top to bottom. Reluctant Imagery surpassed mostly. Even settings were description-wise and its as if you can feel the sweat and the blood from the battle. Imagery made it possible.

    Its kinda funny how some kids just let a good piece sweep away and just sayin..'its good'...'not bad'...'holla at my piece'. Its kinda annoying really. But i hope you enjoyed my retarded criticism.

    A Piece not be wasted.

  9. #9
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    thanks alot^
    not really had my stuff broken down on RB in about 5 months lol
    appreciated
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  10. #10
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    thanks for viewing
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  11. #11
    C-TownsFinest5
    Guest
    ill mane.keep dat shit up.holla



    CTF(represent)

  12. #12
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    feedback like that shud get u banned
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  13. #13
    Newbie Ctownzfinest21's Avatar
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    IT was pretty good overall could have been betta tho
    Jadee

  14. #14
    I found a prefix!!!! f-gee's Avatar
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    lmao^
    fuck!
    You need Ghost Dog in your DVD collection


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    it's a bold statement - the new youtube

  15. #15
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    This was a tight piece...and an enjoyable read

    The flow was good throughout and the vocab kept it complex with a really original topic(well i haven't seen it before)...I thought this was one of the better topics i seen while on rb...Your content kept it interesting and meaningful...Sorry theres nothing more helpful but i thought this honed on your imagery...

    o
    N
    e
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

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