Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Page 1 of 3 1 2 ... LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 33

Thread: Heart to the Pen... first song ever

  1. #1
    The Stew Opie M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Charm City
    Age
    42
    Posts
    28,688
    Battle Record
    18-0
    Awards 25+ Wins

    Heart to the Pen... first song ever

    aight this is really my first time putting effort into recording an actual song. I really needed to release a lot of stress bottled up inside so I put this together. hope yall like it.

    Heart to the Pen

    Hi Fi

    Lo Fi

    And make sure you look for the collab cd comin out on Sept. 9th (peep the sig)

    -1-

  2. #2
    -.'real.- Sureal's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    West Coast
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,472
    Battle Record
    27-2
    Awards SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    ^Good , Good , Very Good Shit. Props !
    .WP.
    .. It' Still Perfect..

  3. #3
    errr this was solid. There is something I'm not liking about your delivery; maybe it's your accent. Chorus is subpar. Another thing your rhyme scheme could be better. All together this wasn't all that bad solid like I said. It had some flaws but we all have flaws.

    Later
    I will not lose because even in defeat, there is a valuable lesson learned so it evens it up for me. -Sean Carter


    Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent. -Marilyn vos Savant

  4. #4
    The Stew Opie M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Charm City
    Age
    42
    Posts
    28,688
    Battle Record
    18-0
    Awards 25+ Wins
    aight thanks for the feedback. what didnt u like about the chorus? thats the first one ive ever put together so i need pointers. sorry cant do anything about my baltimore accent. thats all me lol

    -1-

  5. #5
    The chorus was lackluster because it was like when you was saying it it sounded like you were falling asleep or really wasn't into it.
    I will not lose because even in defeat, there is a valuable lesson learned so it evens it up for me. -Sean Carter


    Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent. -Marilyn vos Savant

  6. #6
    ric0
    Guest
    very good i daint think the accent made a diff

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    ViRGiNIa's TRutH
    Age
    41
    Posts
    250
    quality is pretty nice.........beat is coo....... nice simple flow over it........im feelin..........flow is pretty nice, some times it sound a lil choppy rather then smooth.... but still on point....the hook need more emotion........its gotta be the climax of a track.....other then that, this a nice lil track..........didnt like the hook, but it aint dead the audio or nothin.........coo shit

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  8. #8
    Shawnik_DeFontes
    Guest
    im feelin this beat.. and the intro.. kickoff to the verse was nice but for some reason your voice dropped.. could use some amplification.. like the lyrics tho.. good quality.. the hook is decent.. so tru too.. nice topic, nice drop keep it up

  9. #9
    The Stew Opie M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Charm City
    Age
    42
    Posts
    28,688
    Battle Record
    18-0
    Awards 25+ Wins
    werd... im gonna redo the hook cus no one likes it. i liked it but thats just cus it was the first one ive done and it turned out listenable. maybe i really shouldnt try to sing lol. does anyone else think the vocals are too low? cus i thought they were too high and i turned them down.

    thanks for the feedback

  10. #10
    Newbie ME AGAIN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    here there everywhere
    Posts
    23
    tight/ now da hook was alright if you said it wit more feeling like you did ya rap other than that i liked it

    fuck you fuck you ill kill you uhhhh sorry where did dat come from
    forgive me im still fighting my demons.... fuck everithing i hated it..shut up say ya sorry .. no uhhh hey where am i???

  11. #11
    The Stew Opie M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Charm City
    Age
    42
    Posts
    28,688
    Battle Record
    18-0
    Awards 25+ Wins
    ^^^lol this guys a character. "fighting my demons" lmao

  12. #12
    Badman Shotta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    J.A. nigga in Jerz
    Posts
    407
    Battle Record
    1-4
    nice shit dog, put alot more emotion into it tho, keep workin dog, nice for the first drop, keep workin on vocab too, dont go crazy and use words that u kno lol but just increase the vocab level a bit, nice hook just gotta fix it a lil.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  13. #13
    Banned 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    The Streetz
    Posts
    543
    Battle Record
    1-0
    whats that soletenity............litenin......you on beat....ya flow got some switches in it...but you always catch it tho so thats good.......you on some true shit......its mashin...perfect chorus to match....wanna remix it?? pm me.......

    ouT

  14. #14
    The Stew Opie M.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Charm City
    Age
    42
    Posts
    28,688
    Battle Record
    18-0
    Awards 25+ Wins
    werd... thanks for the feedback. i try to switch my flow up. thats just my style. and yea that sol fa sho. i love that beat.

  15. #15
    your accent...and non emotion....

    work on the annunciation and delivery....

    1
    <img src="http://img335.imageshack.us/img335/1183/lscopy2oc.jpg">


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    Trakz Fresh Meter
    1 - Garbage / 2 - Needs Work / 3 - Avg / 4 - Fresh / 5 - Amazing

    Scottsmagic1: ok.. me watch porn now
    Scottsmagic1 signed off at 11:32:28 PM.
    Scottsmagic1 signed on at 11:32:54 PM.


    Ladies, if he can go for 30 seconds while jerkin..imagine what he can do in bed!

Similar Threads

  1. Love song.. to a scard heart
    By Black Lungs in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: December 22nd, 2005, 04:10 PM
  2. TEXT ~ Heart Attack ~ song
    By Konphlict in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: September 5th, 2003, 11:54 AM
  3. just a quick song, from da heart
    By OpTiKaL iLuZion in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: April 11th, 2003, 02:41 AM
  4. -~* HeArT Of A ThUg*~- (SOMETHIN FROM THA HEART)
    By X'Turn'al in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 29th, 2002, 05:01 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •