a Pack of Cigarettes

[Tactixx]

Zyban also made me carazy!!!

[country]

lmao i came back n read this again cuz im high, n i think this shit is nasty dawg


props once more

[RAS.]

wow nice

*lights a Newport*

[Topic]

hahaha at all the smokers in here. I dip now. its more convenient. Thanks for the replies everyone. Yeah there are some spots where it doesnt flow well. I try to put ... in lines to break that so the reader can slow down. It just works in my mind better than using a new line. I do have a problem with flow because I read my peice at a certain pace and know where the pauses are meant to be but I cant convey that to readers so I just accept that I wont be able to fix my problem with flow. and the cigs dont talk it was the lighter.

[dlite]

nice concept for sure

i really liked ur interaction with the lighter

the flame was like a therapist but it wasnt really helping u

thats actually really true , have u ever noticed with situations extremely close to ur heart like a girl u love, nobody can really understand how u feel or give good advice
only ur instincts offer guidance

i thought this was technically a fairly solid piece,,,simple structure n vocab but still very effective,,,,stories usually dont need to have the most complex structures

i liked this line
Indecision stained clothing is the attire she wears while playing this game

there were a couple that didnt fit in my eyes like the abyss line

idk good line but it felt out of place

overall solid drop,,it could use some tightening up n polish,,,,

im rewriting some of my piece for audio,,,ill PM u the link when its done so u can check it out

good shit homie stay up

[Topic]

there are a few lines that I would change if I rewrote it. just lines that are awkward within the piece. thanks dlite and yeah give me the link when its ready