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Thread: The Shelter

  1. #16
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    Re: The Shelter

    This is a dope piece... I'm talking about dope dope... aha

    You used creativity and had nice imagery here man... you also had decent and dope flows with multies and didn't fall off-topic...

    Scytso's Up...

    Like what Accurit said... they don't know crazy!
    No Mercy/Scytsophrenia

  2. #17
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    Re: The Shelter

    I forgot to point out the dope lines that stood out the most...

    With no time wasted he gathers his family and all their belongings
    Off to find new lodgings, a new spot for their christmas stockings
    Reality's grip is shocking when he finds himself left to a choice
    You must protect your family now says the young man's inner voice
    His thoughts produce offerings for his offspring and his own life
    He then recalls a bomb shelter Grandpa built for him and his wife
    No Mercy/Scytsophrenia

  3. #18
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Skilla's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    Damnnnn!!! you are the new Stephen King with the story tellin,nice work man
    love the topic,the whole context,flow all's A+.keep it up man.one

  4. #19
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    Thanx for the feed guys.....I left a reponse to all the links....Up...leave a link and Ill reply...Peace...

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  5. #20
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    Blah.....Up.....

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  6. #21
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    any more feed???.....
    leave links.....

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  7. #22
    The Zen Master.
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    Re: The Shelter

    def a good read. i kinda seen the ending coming for some reason because of I Am Legend. But other then that u stayed on point through out.. rhyming went good with the story. the concept has been a little played but u put it from a diffrent stand point; which was the story of a family surviving not just the world coming to an end. def a good drop homie.

  8. #23
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    thx...up.

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  9. #24
    Fly in under the Radar. Tactixx's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    Up......One last time....any feed is appreciated and returned....peace...

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  10. #25
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Genesis's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    returning some feed...this shit was good for what it was, it's obviously written in a more poetic vibe in text format, which is different from what I do, so it doesn't appeal to me as much. but looking at it from a technical point of view, the topic was good, original, creative, the story came across clear and was woved together nicely, vocab on point, it was lyrical in a poetic sense as opposed to rap skill, nice shit though.

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  11. #26
    Sinacog Echelon's Avatar
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    Re: The Shelter

    This was from 2009, but I thought this was very well -- written..

    LOVE IT!! GOOD WORK!!

  12. #27

    Re: The Shelter

    Good lord!

    Phenomenal, had all the elements of a great story and more besides, the emotional aspect really shone through.
    Simply a fantastic piece of writing combining some real shit with a potential horrifying event that I hope will never occur.

    Reality's grip is shocking when he finds himself left to a choice
    You must protect your family now says the young man's inner voice
    ^
    Whoo, that was smoking.
    HAVE I BEEN HERE BEFORE?

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