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Thread: The Old Young Person

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    The Old Young Person

    The Old Young Person

    It's as if my friends have left me in the race
    I ran with that wonderful feeling of excitement.....
    My smiles were found glistening as I kept up the pace
    They were just beside me, crying for the sacrifice
    We were mocking each other who would be the better
    Then I fell down, got up...
    And looked at my friends, then shooked and stutter
    I ran along with them, they ran as well
    My energy was renewed from that accident
    I could feel stamina my stamina unfold
    Then I looked at my fellow racers...
    And by that time I felt as if I was old
    These were my companions, and we were one like a school of fish
    Knowing they would always give me aid....
    I looked at my friends who were so close to the finish
    I was also close to it, even closer than my friends
    But their speed was a lot faster, I could feel their energy sapped
    Why was I so stupid....
    I've been in the ground for too long, they're already in the next lap
    They looked at me, we talked, played and had lots of fun
    Being with my teammates makes me feel very old
    I want to be with my friends....
    Not my teammates, so truth be told
    And if one of my friends would fall, I would wake him up and we would relieve yesterday's wonders
    Together we would run...
    Me, him and our other new partners
    Last edited by oznerol; May 2nd, 2008 at 10:09 AM

  2. #2
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    Last edited by oznerol; May 2nd, 2008 at 10:01 AM

  3. #3
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    Re: The Old Young Person

    Feed Me!!

  4. #4
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    Re: The Old Young Person

    i like this a lot, it showed emotion, depth, and above all heart.
    the way you lived your topic threw ya writing shows promise.
    overall a good read, "We were mocking each other who would be the better"

    8.5 out of 10
    "Even if i say nothing it would be a beautiful use of negitive space"--El-P

  5. #5
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    Re: The Old Young Person

    Thanks a lot bro....I'm very new to poetry, just got my english skills from reading too much Archie comics...lol, plus English aint my language....

  6. #6
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    Re: The Old Young Person

    FEED last call!!

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