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Thread: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

  1. #1
    Abraxas
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    Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Conceptions rummage my brain in centrifugal agony
    Racking my head, thoughts entered usual savagery
    Pondering beneath the apple tree with strenuous introversion
    Aspersions coursing my mind in an ingenious diversion
    Immersed with a cursed “goodbye”………and why…
    ……………………While these lies thirst for yearning replies
    This dearth truths hurts and scavenges my burning eyes
    The turning of the sky, baffles me upon observing the cry
    I’m flirting with lies, I can’t decide or confide a deceit of flesh
    Threats to devour me, as I reside in the concrete feet of Death
    Excreting sea of sweat, critiquing debris of pitiful rupture
    As Death taunts my head leaking out my Physical structure
    Stuck conferring these inner wounds, I dread to heal
    As I look upon the face of Eternal Sleep, I regret to appeal
    This fate is horrifying, as he grabs my neck closes his…
    Wrists upon my withering windpipe…..
    …………………These lies inside biting causing my necrosis
    As I feel this is hopeless the shadow of the grim speaks
    As the hood figure shrieks, and his phantom limb creaks
    And asks about the deception and deceit you treat...
    Your wife while you seek…. but he breaches his Heat
    Points to the face of death, but grim is laughing nonetheless
    As he unloads all the rounds he unravels the cloak of death…
    In a broken sweat, but realizes he shot his wife in the chest
    As Death contorts with laugher, and tell him to come home
    As he puts his finger to his head and sphacelates his dome
    Failing faith of this man, whom degrades in under the tree
    As the thunder rips asunder one wonders what could be…
    As the scream he had heard was of a foreboding banshee.
    While necroses he thinks that withered eyes meet the vibe
    In this deathly ride brings forth Hidden Lies That Eat You Alive
    Percept Shun

  2. #2
    Abraxas
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    Percept Shun

  3. #3
    Abraxas
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    WTF feedback plz.
    Percept Shun

  4. #4

    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    i was really feelin this piece. you staye well to the topic and had some nice lines. you flow is sick and u got mad skills. fav lines:

    "This dearth truths hurts and scavenges my burning eyes
    The turning of the sky, baffles me upon observing the cry
    I’m flirting with lies, I can’t decide or confide a deceit of flesh
    Threats to devour me, as I reside in the concrete feet of Death
    Excreting sea of sweat, critiquing debris of pitiful rupture
    As Death taunts my head leaking out my Physical structure"

    keep spiitin dat crack!

  5. #5
    is in the house Facts Machine's Avatar
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    great rhyme-scheme and usage of words, real dope shit, the imagery was cool on the whole cloak of death thing. i think the first few bars were perfect, nice shit here. i really have no complaints.. i do think it'll get nominated, but i'm really picky so you probably wont get that from me unless my jaw drops while i read ya shit, nah mean.

    anyways, thanks for feedin' my iced out chain letter piece, bye.

  6. #6
    Abraxas
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Thanks upping for more feed.
    Percept Shun

  7. #7
    Abraxas
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    upping
    Percept Shun

  8. #8
    Abraxas
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Upping for some feed
    Percept Shun

  9. #9
    Chemo sick Plexus's Avatar
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    word i really liked the first couple bars alot...the captivation was aight but your word usage is very dope. However i also seen spots where your internals were a little forced but it took nothin away from the overall piece. I agree your imagry was great through the entire piece. Your ending had me just as caught as the beginnning which is a very good thing. Overall you have a well written piece here and i appreciate the link
    Monster's Ink

    2xOMHoF


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  10. #10
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Closed.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



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  11. #11
    Banned
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    Reopen!


    Don't forget the link dude- Johnny 6-feet

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ue-346761.html
    Last edited by Johnny 6-feet; August 29th, 2007 at 03:06 PM

  12. #12
    Abraxas
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    Re: Hidden Lies Eat You Alive

    and upping then
    Percept Shun

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