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Thread: God's Plan

  1. #1
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    God's Plan

    Look at this, predestination and manifest destiny and witches and Salem, and corrupted kings I've blessed with power, and ignorant, unsaved, fools running amok like they have the right to!... I'll teach them..

    I hope to fire of all cylinders tonight, but your a prisoner of sight
    No third eye to reach beyond and extend your spirituality
    you are but one man, one nationality, subjected to some brutality
    Life - that nervous feeling - a practice that is saddening
    Yet in tandem, delightful, now lets examine it.
    What you see before you, and all you ignore too
    But first, class, let's get your minds near to me
    Let's look at what this appears to be.
    From a foreign glance some organisms appear to lord the planet
    but of course we can, can't we? Without careful examining
    We're the valedictorians in eat.sleep.fuck., notwithstanding
    We don't bleed enough,
    We failed care because our teachers weren't so
    God-damned demanding! So here we are, kings of the land that spans
    The globe expanding our thrones to deep space
    We're we cannot know if death will come in a minute or three days
    Because no Nebuchadnezzar can defeat fate
    Impossible, no weak reign can be deified
    Regardless of any priest in mind, your just part of feeblemankind!
    Back to the subject class, but it sometimes fun to touch the past
    Foolish mortals, you know I love to laugh
    Dreams of immortality sacrilegious spirituality....
    But I digress, you need to study for the test
    This is the meaning of all the clouds and the rivers
    And the surrounding cities and bridges and the littlest villages
    A steel tower to a redwood hut
    This is real power, and I'll tell you what.
    Knowledge that no college can deliver, (don't be livid)
    Or that omnipresent shrapnel will end up having felt your gut
    & have fucked your sister.
    But listen, all that you see before your eyes
    Is just mush to justify the billions of purposeless addicts running around
    Addicts?
    Addicted to nothing except for that "something" they've found
    So it's time to erase a mistake, flex those heavenly muscles
    Denizens bother me, soon I'll hear the echoes of a proper scream
    One asking for attrition from God, but this time will I listen?
    But it's time to chop the seams, give the idiots power
    I send Satan to Earth in the form of democracy
    Last edited by soulstice.; August 21st, 2007 at 06:15 PM

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  2. #2
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    Re: God's Plan

    you prolly got the illest metaphores and punchline ive heard in a minute.

    Life - that nervous feeling - a practice that is saddening
    What you see before you, and all you ignore too
    Without careful examining
    We're the valedictorians in eat.sleep.fuck., notwithstanding
    We don't bleed enough
    I send Satan to Earth in the form of democracy
    the only ups you need is on the flow and personaly i like story lines and first person point of views on things not so much jus what the person is feeling and seeing but what theyre doin and how theyre involved, be more particular jus embellish wit metaphores

  3. #3
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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  4. #4

    Re: God's Plan

    I felt this over all the rhyme scheme took a bit to get use to but once i did it was fire..i would ve givin you a bar by bar feed but the way you write makes it difficult..

    this had nice imagery...the flow felt a little choppy at first..once i got it it picked up...everything was on point..the concept was nice..the wording was crazy..very nice talent here..it had a poetic vibe to it..like i could see this as a poem..keep doing your thing I look forward to reading some more of your work....
    Let The Requiem Begin.....

  5. #5
    dead on revival soulstice.'s Avatar
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    Re: God's Plan

    thnx

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