what a waste?

[evil king]

I've notice ur sense its worthless like lots of pennies.N''
if u said love tha'll juss burn my chest like shots of henny.
cuz baby I've met the real you and its not so friendly.
hugs N kisses luv N wishes were juss fake like implants.
words burn like forest fire feelings melt like marshmellows u make me feel like I'm in camp.
when I said things to you I honestly said them dearly.
our vision was 20-20 together ...now I cant C so clearly.
this picture isn't right like mug shots..and she does not
want 2 change so I'll let the hate bubble ^ like blood clots.
faith is cold we was hot.so like apples I"ll let this luv rot.
wow I guess this was all a game like chess ..wat a fling?
but like chess ........the queen must die for the king.
this so-called luv of our's is old soda cuz we flat.
we're headin a low direction I dont need a map 2 C dat.
yes I been care. but now I'll cut u short like thin hair.
so when another man fucks u I can reply I been there.
the truth I use 2 fear that. white lies made my tears black.
I want you gone in dust.... and a mute can hear that.
What a waste of my time you've spend on my clock.
you've made my red heart white like pupils and I drops.
but as u walk out the door and take your last steps.
remeber the good times cuz there all gone like ur last breath.

even though ur gone our love I'll make sure I burn it right,
as another baby grows old wat a waste of sperm and life.
[key'd]

[evil king]

1st
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329145

2cd
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329134

[Boxin Mics]

when I said things to you I honestly said them dearly.
our vision was 20-20 together ...now I cant C so clearly.
this picture isn't right like mug shots..and she does not
want 2 change so I'll let the hate bubble ^ like blood clots.
faith is cold we was hot.so like apples I"ll let this luv rot.
wow I guess this was all a game like chess ..wat a fling?
but like chess ........the queen must die for the king.
this so-called luv of our's is old soda cuz we flat.
we're headin a low direction I dont need a map 2 C dat.
yes I been care. but now I'll cut u short like thin hair.
so when another man fucks u I can reply I been there.

^fucking dope..^

damn whoever this bitch is really got you goin crazy, bro. anyway this piece had alotta similes in it. flow was nice and smooth. only bar that threw me off was...

hugs N kisses luv N wishes were juss fake like implants.
words burn like forest fire feelings melt like marshmellows u make me feel like I'm in camp.

only cuz it was a bit stretched. other than that i think you really showed dope skill.

but as u walk out the door and take your last steps.
remeber the good times cuz there all gone like ur last breath.

^another bar that sounded dope to me..

even though ur gone our love I'll make sure I burn it right,
as another baby grows old wat a waste of sperm and life.

^now this was some funny shit, man...


truthfully i feel the emotion behind this. after reading a second piece you threw at this bitch... *thinking*.. hopefully you dont end up doing some crazy shit to her, man.

anyway dope drop and i really like your style. keep the good work up.

[evil king]

thankz alout uppin.....

[evil king]

uppin 4 feed.

[.:~Digital~:.]

..Goin to leave Feed.. just markin it incase it gets lost

I gotta dip out - but will def get bak to this..... ~1~

[Wu banga]

The flow was too stretched out in alot of the lines, to many little words an sllyables to really rap to beat unless u say it real fast. Vocab isn't a must, but i would add some more variety to this verse in that catagorie. You had less played concepts then most, but real talk, what artist who's on top is comin orginal? So orginality ain't even that important any more mainstream wise. Anyways, these is the lines that stood out to me:

the truth I use 2 fear that. white lies made my tears black.
I want you gone in dust.... and a mute can hear that.

And

but as u walk out the door and take your last steps.
remeber the good times cuz there all gone like ur last breath.


Good shit, u had good balance between mulites an straight one an two syllable rhymed lines. Overall-8.3/10

[evil king]

thankz uppin

[PARKWAY]

THE FLOWS WAS WEAK AND COULD USE A LITTLE HELP BUT IT' S SOME THING I WOULD LISTEN TWO BUT KEEP UR HEAD UP..............................................http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...67#post5565067

[evil king]

next.

[Verb]

yea alright... good mutis, good flow.. decent verse, stay up.

[P. Mortuus]

Okay, lets get teh negatives out the way first...this seemed like a freewrite at times with the flow getting bumpy and streched lines making words lose meaning. Plus your main concept wasn't fully fresh.
Now that thats done i haev to say this wholeppiece was about clever sub concepts, each line had something in it that made it entertaining. Though you would need to wrok on your wording which would allow you to shorten some lines, plus work on the imagery to get it on lock properly. Get more in touch with topicals and experiment son styles and vocabulary range and usage as well.

All in all, an entertaining little piece. good work

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329350

[evil king]

thank you.........uppin 4 more feed

[BeRLin`S BesT]

when I said things to you I honestly said them dearly.
our vision was 20-20 together ...now I cant C so clearly.

hot lines....u came definately correct managed to put ur emotions to paper ina very depictive way....the flow was cool too which was due to the nice wording u done on this piece...i could see it was a heart-felt piece and those are always the best....so keep writin'

go ahead check some HnR stuff if u can....pz

[.:~Digital~:.]

This shit was fresh and dope, ya used similies like crazy which made the flow and the piece stand out..... I liked everythin about it and can't really criticize it except for that marshmallow line needs to be re-worded....

everythin else wuz dope so thats it....... told ya i wuld cum bak to leave feed.....