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Thread: The Stranger: Eternity

  1. #1
    Dokusei no ai - 毒性の愛 Blayde's Avatar
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    The Stranger: Eternity

    This was a battle verse


    The Stranger: Eternity

    A stranger walks a deserted street anonymous to glancing eyes
    His feet swing like pendulems playing to a steady symphony
    He glances over the sidewalk watching the prominent streetlights
    His emotions hidden under a mask of malice and villainry
    A fixed mane of dirt-strewn hair covers the workings of his mind
    The smell of liqour lingers around him, a sign of heavy drinking
    He staggers still relentlessly reaching for the walls as though blind
    His abused body gives away he lies there in the dirt thinking
    If his wife could see him now lieing in the dirt like a sewer rat
    She'd gloat "Now you know why i can't love you,this always happens"
    As this thought occurs he pulls himself up and reaches over for his hat
    He walks along his gloomy face half consealed behind mud and shadows
    He Drones on through the deserted alley and out onto the highstreet
    In his head he contemplates , just how pointless his insignificant lifes been

    He glances into the nearest cars mirror, he glances at a stranger staring back
    Fallen, a broken man covered in rubble, how could love turn to need ?
    As he continues walking the weight of the world on his mind stacked
    He falls to his knees, tears trickle down his face as he asks...
    ....................." how can she continue to make my heart bleed?"
    As he slumps down his breath halts and he remembers the past

    His memorys run riot flashing through his mind as though on show
    His wedding day, his happiest moment as she repeated the words "i do.."
    He stares dumb-struck as life swings another punch, another delicate blow
    they were to be together for eternity, bonded by name, this thought slew
    it seemed obvious from this veiw this relationship was never going to grow
    Because they were meant to be together for eternity.............
    ................ Voices sound in his head that he should of knew she was untrue
    but his admiration and passion for her shines through and still shows

    He passes over, his mind goes blank and he forgets time
    wishing behond all hope that he could re-live his life

    The stranger sleeps
    Twelve13 Designs
    Established 2004.

  2. #2
    Dokusei no ai - 毒性の愛 Blayde's Avatar
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    Re: The Stranger: Eternity

    Last edited by Blayde; February 28th, 2007 at 04:02 PM
    Twelve13 Designs
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  3. #3
    Dokusei no ai - 毒性の愛 Blayde's Avatar
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    Re: The Stranger: Eternity

    don't sleep people.
    Twelve13 Designs
    Established 2004.

  4. #4
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    Re: The Stranger: Eternity

    again another post i read thts very peotic... wow did u just imagine this and react? very graphic great detail to emmotional aspects......i can fallow a stanza count as well...also i could see this as a revelation to modern day donte in the intro to INFERNO i am impressed this is abstract but still real hip hop i like it.

  5. #5
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    Re: The Stranger: Eternity

    NICE PIECE. GOOD READ...

    "His memorys run riot flashing through his mind as though on show
    His wedding day, his happiest moment as she repeated the words "i do.."
    He stares dumb-struck as life swings another punch, another delicate blow
    they were to be together for eternity, bonded by name, this thought slew
    it seemed obvious from this veiw this relationship was never going to grow"


    I REALLY FELT THIS PART, THE WAY YOUR WRITE IS REALLY VISUAL, THE METAS KINDA MAKE YOU FEEL AS IF YOU WERE ANOTHER SOUL STRANGER WATCHING SOME ONE ELSE'S LIFE KINDA ECHOING YOURS, KNOWING WAT PATH THERE FIGHTING, AS IF YOUVE BEEN THERE BEFORE.. REAL DEEP.. GOOD SHIT

  6. #6
    Dokusei no ai - 毒性の愛 Blayde's Avatar
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    Re: The Stranger: Eternity

    thanks for the feed people ....i apreciate it.
    Twelve13 Designs
    Established 2004.

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