Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Showing results 1 to 15 of 17

Thread: Yours with all my heart

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Yours with all my heart

    To, Her



    Strumming upon a plaintive mood to match the tune
    carving crescent moons-paper cuts scratch the boon
    which throbs- fragile tunnels filled with rushing oceans
    of sweet life, join in a central reservoir pumping motions
    to regulate an army in cells, red & white, muscle gels
    to bone beginning tussles grown out of inner hells
    which I release in melodious compositions streaming
    aloud teeming with the beaming light, vision gleaming
    at the height to which I see, at the depth to which I be
    at the intricacy of his creativity & tunes of her misery…

    I blindly follow paths
    baths of sadness blast
    to pasts of mourning
    last memories adjourning
    to free me to breathe
    a breath which seethed
    with intoxicative remedies
    which in turn made my
    ….melodies
    tunes of compassion
    sung with a flawed passion
    it was all an act, a drama
    ironic the time for karma
    to play it’s hand & unleash
    it’s grand plan made a beast
    which served as a minion
    to my mental dominions
    so now I strum elastic bands
    racked with painful glands
    constantly under pressure
    to submit to a lesser
    pleasure……..
    But what do I say
    …except
    Just let me sing this day


    Here lies dormant wishes formant in their speech
    yet hollow they speak, shallow after deaths reach
    which streaked my hands bloody red, in dread
    to be caught red handed- I fled not thinking instead
    of running I should stop, mind over matter works
    but the ecstasy of peaking terror has it’s perks
    a heightened bass drum, with taps from the dancers
    breathing hard, mutely making a dance of necromancers
    It’s to her, not to any other I had given this heart
    How disloyal- my heart had its own ideas for a start
    it bided it’s time, making me think all is great
    then attacked me, leaving me still- mouth agape

    Yours with all my heart,
    though my heart attacks
    ….Me







  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Bumpy Knuckles.

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A city where the wind blows..
    Posts
    2,282
    Battle Record
    14-6

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Excellence....I loved yo flow in this one...especially the middle verse...flow seemed to really pick up there...while you always provide some of the best imagery...this piece had an edgy feel to it..edgy in a good way....I loved it and thought this was a very good read..overall dopeness....and just keep at it Baron...4-sho..

    fav lines..
    I blindly follow paths
    baths of sadness blast
    to pasts of mourning
    last memories adjourning
    to free me to breathe
    a breath which seethed
    with intoxicative remedies
    which in turn made my
    ….melodies


    Battles I need closed

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    ___________________
    OMHOF x1
    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

    Open Mic's


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    L.S.
    N.A.
    M.C.

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Thanks.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    here and there
    Posts
    3,288
    Battle Record
    28-5

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    the rest had some good poetic imagery within the lines......flow seemed stable



    but this whole section seemed outstanding to Me-


    I blindly follow paths
    baths of sadness blast
    to pasts of mourning
    last memories adjourning
    to free me to breathe
    a breath which seethed
    with intoxicative remedies
    which in turn made my
    ….melodies
    tunes of compassion
    sung with a flawed passion
    it was all an act, a drama
    ironic the time for karma
    to play it’s hand & unleash
    it’s grand plan made a beast
    which served as a minion
    to my mental dominions
    so now I strum elastic bands
    racked with painful glands
    constantly under pressure
    to submit to a lesser
    pleasure……..



    i mean this section had plenty of emotion,plenty of high vocab usage without going over the top.........flow went wild .rhymes just seemed to flow in and out.........

    one thing I would of edited was=
    it’s grand plan made a beast

    to

    it’s grand plan man-made a beast


    but yeah this piece had much deepness and an entertaining flow and vocab was coo

    so the piece all in all was top - shotter


    check out my piece on the page if you get time

    likkle bit more
    .................................................. ......................

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    thanks..i'll check your up tommorow aight.

  8. #8
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    Houston, Texas
    Age
    39
    Posts
    5,316
    Battle Record
    15-10

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    i wish i could put down what my favorite bar was..but i enjoyed the whole piece together..it didnt lack or fall off anywhere,as usual,went perfect with tha beat,fuck you lucy by atmosphere..tha song happened to be playing on my comp as i read your piece.....i loved tha emotion...tha imagery was amazing.....loved tha vocab and wordplay..tha multis..rhyme scheme..all incorporated alot of complexity.....keep droppin tha hottness...would you critique my piece...~1~


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  9. #9
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Yup thanks, i'll get yours later on man
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    brooklyn, ny
    Age
    39
    Posts
    546
    Battle Record
    3-2

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    this was incredible, yo. exspecially this.....


    I blindly follow paths
    baths of sadness blast
    to pasts of mourning
    last memories adjourning
    to free me to breathe
    a breath which seethed
    with intoxicative remedies
    which in turn made my
    ….melodies
    tunes of compassion
    sung with a flawed passion
    it was all an act, a drama
    ironic the time for karma
    to play it’s hand & unleash
    it’s grand plan made a beast
    which served as a minion
    to my mental dominions
    so now I strum elastic bands
    racked with painful glands
    constantly under pressure
    to submit to a lesser
    pleasure……..
    But what do I say
    …except
    Just let me sing this day


    and its emotional. the vocab was on point. along with the wordplay. im amazed, actually. i enjoyed the whole piece. but keep dropping this type of shit, seriously. its powerful.

  11. #11
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    bumpy knuckles.^

  12. #12
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    anymore for anymore

  13. #13
    Soule
    Guest

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Love how you made your own images..I think you did it..looks like you did. The story and wordplay was Fantastic. Didnt think it was HoF like the peice I just read by Poeta but it was really good still. Keep it up man, you getting pretty damn good at this shit. Hit up Good Meets Evil Feat J6F in return please.

  14. #14
    Soule
    Guest

  15. #15
    Threat Level Midnight Tim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    Rancho Cucamonga
    Posts
    16,801
    Battle Record
    104-7
    Awards 1-2 Season Champion 1-2 Punch HW Champion 100+ Wins

    Re: Yours with all my heart

    Baron Raising it another bar with this top notch piece creative with the splitting of the picture transfering from stanza to stanza good flow good rhyme sheme it transitioned well from line to line so easy to read complex in away but the message has clear good piece man props

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327008


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=327008

Similar Threads

  1. If I Was Your Heart
    By Rich Is Brolic in forum Member Pictures
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: September 17th, 2009, 10:54 PM
  2. from the heart
    By TamairaSanders in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: May 13th, 2003, 10:54 PM
  3. -~* HeArT Of A ThUg*~- (SOMETHIN FROM THA HEART)
    By X'Turn'al in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: November 29th, 2002, 05:01 AM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •