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Thread: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

  1. #1
    Newbie FrOsTy G's Avatar
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    slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    grab these frail dudes like eraser heads.....I will test-you/dont run.....Im out field.....go ova the fence I'll still catch-you/and I aint cha 'pops'.....'still'....them shots gone 'steal' half-you/........
    I cut ends like pork plants....of enemies I make slab stew/


    and Im good at 'beatin pussies'.........so I dont see none of you 'cats winning'/
    matter fact that ventures slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging/
    really you dudes all talk....you think thats impressing-bitch
    I got an assistant........if I aim at 'ya ass' he gone take 'rectal measurements'/
    so the bullets a singe ya 'blow whole'.....tell the forensics they have 'shit' for evidence/
    Im 'downloading' my content so you can accually get the element/......its heaven-sent/

    and until he does what he meant......ya not deaden him


    juss someole keystylen shit.......to break myself into this site.....I havent texted inna while....def. felt the cobb webs on that one

  2. #2

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    Okay this piece needs much improvement, you need to improve on your vocab and ish as right now your on an elementary stage na mean. You need to improve your structure to and the title wasn't exactly good. Plus your piece had a lot of errors like spelling and ish that can be improved. Basically, look around the om section and read some pieces to get a fair idea.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  4. #4
    Newbie FrOsTy G's Avatar
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    Re: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    Quote Originally Posted by Baron P. Mortuus
    Okay this piece needs much improvement, you need to improve on your vocab and ish as right now your on an elementary stage na mean. You need to improve your structure to and the title wasn't exactly good. Plus your piece had a lot of errors like spelling and ish that can be improved. Basically, look around the om section and read some pieces to get a fair idea.
    ight this piece didnt sho much effort ......but still I think the wordplay and multies in this.......is better then average....or at least what I've seen on this site..........


    uppin

  5. #5
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    Quote Originally Posted by FrOsTy G
    ight this piece didnt sho much effort ......but still I think the wordplay and multies in this.......is better then average....or at least what I've seen on this site..........


    uppin

    lol...looks at the good pieces and no the wordplay compared to them isn't up to par nonetheless keep trying though.

  6. #6
    Banned Rancor's Avatar
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    Re: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    word look at my pieces don't be talking back to the Co of The mighty O Ho

  7. #7

    Re: slimmer then Nicole Richie Bendging

    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

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