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Last edited by Taz™; May 28th, 2009 at 05:20 PM
*Cha*....
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The flow was consistant, the style you made this was odd in a good way... Origional concept of making it like a interveiw to write your story. Nice play with the chair etc. The flow was interesting from start to finish, although that chair & the way you set it up, I think anyone would read it from start to finish fully interested. I liked it, I will make sure to check your continued part.
Since you say you haven't read anything of mine besides that JT shit, check this peice out of mine http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=325022
Not bad pretty good at parts. I felt you were concentrating on your rhyming which is understandable as you had a good flow going except at some instances. The concept was aight with a good ending and was entertaining to read though had use of some cliches. I felt that though this was a good short read you have potential to do brilliantly, not there yet but theres another level, where you can be by hard work and effort. stay up^.
buuuhhhh
nah just kiddin this piece was pretty aight....i respect you....good job on flow and wordage holla at me for a collab!!...now..lol
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Hit N Run
good shit, nice flow and vocab and everything...it was interesting to read... not much bad to say at all. 8/10
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Originally Posted by Brandon Heat
thanx..
will RTF shortly -
BringUpMyPost BuMp
soaked in red, bewildered as i choked my breath
a fragile body in my arms cloaked with no life left
^^^liked that line alot 9/10
felt more security, against those who look at me
i watch them age straight from the womb crookedly
trapped in my roots, as i lost the enjoyment in fruits
how to grab reality when they cant handle the truth
^^probably ya best line, good wordplay 9.5/10
overall i liked this piece alot everything flowed good imagery keep doing ya thang man, id say keep elevating but looks like you doing that on ya own playboy
~1~
id appreciate if you hit up one of my links leave some feedback
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me personally I thought this piece would flow better as a poem.....Dont know.....I juss I'd have to hear it audio.....cause the bars were misconstructed
ya i agree w/ him^^ i think it wud have gone better as a poem... but never the less it was awesome for the most part
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Hmm...
I liked this...Cause it's kinda how I am...Rhyming first...But you seemed like you still had some good substance...The scheme was dope no question...Description was on and off but you also had some nice plays with idiom...Kept me interested...Alot due to the rhyming...
Pretty kool piece..
This is my signature...
Yeah, this was pretty good for a short read, flow was constant, lines were kinda short, not that its a problem, hard to explain, anyway i like your style man seemed simply but yet effective if you understand what i mean.
props
thank you i will return favors shortly ...
*Cha*....
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I like this drop.
Alot of emotion in your piece, had a nice flow and good use of vocab amd imagery. Ya seemed to jus got with it like you actually were the piece you were writing. Alright opic in itself, tons of creativity as well.
overall a nice drop
props
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