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Thread: Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

  1. #1
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
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    Portland, Oregon
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    Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

    Addicted to addiction
    White powder with glass mirrors
    Pipes amongst rolled dollars
    Mind walking alongside god
    .
    .
    .

    Trapped within misfortune
    Living for the monsters drip
    Running circles on the freeway
    Pulling feathers from angel wings
    .
    .
    .

    Boiled down needle injected
    Fluid crawls beneath the surface
    Touching every nerve with precision
    I love to scratch when she runs by
    .
    .
    .

    The world has devoured me
    Purple skys over green alleys
    Dusting white gold from my nose
    Hoping to regain this junkies anatomy
    .
    .
    .

  2. #2
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    Awards PC HOF OM HOF

    Re: Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

    dope topic dude very original i must say very original,,, i liked the whole structure and the mood of the drop to me was mellow and mysterious, wow aint seen u drop in a while yet impressive ive expected u to be be rusty.....yet u werent at all, the emotion was okay, the imagery was very vivid, and the vocabulary was smooth flowing and nice, overall a great coming home drop foreshadow.
    AI

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  3. #3
    fast.
    Join Date
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    AB, CAN
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    Battle Record
    7-6

    Re: Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

    um, not bad. consistent until the last stanza
    regain this junkies anatomy? either it's bad word
    choice or you just dont understand the word.
    anatomy = body, why do you need to regain the
    body, it's more like the mind is out of control with
    addiction, or even Life would have been more
    appropriate. just my 2 cents. cheers.
    fastforwords.>>
    //WordPerfect

  4. #4
    Fear Before The March Foreshadow's Avatar
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    Re: Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

    Thanks for the feedback!

  5. #5
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    Re: Black Dream & Deadly Pockets

    well you did reply to one of mine though it was a bit shitty.ha

    neway


    first thong that hit me good was the 2nd stanza. yea image was cool f'sho.thoughts were sort of warped .
    3rd stanz was cool also. seemed fluid for real,,,
    emotion was ok not too much.imagery was what made it decent - as you might say..
    3rd stanza started off ok but seemed to lose its poetic poise

    so yeah decent piece bro

    bye
    .................................................. ......................

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