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Thread: The Balcony

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    The Balcony

    Hearts burn as burns the earth
    on a hot basking Sicilian morn
    where is he? Playing his guitar
    to which …he ballads with joy
    See there is he strumming…..
    A tune of melancholy
    Waiting for her he looks
    Towards an empty balcony


    Cultivated upon lands birthing boons of oiled
    Olives, green & black like children’s marbles
    Next to honey oat bread with spices coiled
    Cleanly cut in circles & served--then warbles
    The musician, tenor in his words & voice
    Choices flash past, memories of past desires
    Of past deceits of past treacheries, the friars
    Gather for alms—religion stilting on change
    Spare currency for the poor, charity is feigned
    Blamed by sins & guilt on his mind he rides
    Alone in the companioned winds, he confides
    To living life for a revolution, justice is blinded
    So he scatters the blindfold between the poor
    They pull at need, tightening the spited law
    Minded by Giuliano, Robin Hood chimed it
    Whores slept at his door, a chance to score
    A hit or maybe a bit—of obliqueness to result
    The lessening of their poor-ness bless the gust
    That carries the breath of his breath, his lore
    Spread like a clouded myth, bliss tore for more
    Indulgent bias, he ringed quite his Jaw
    Picking up his lupara, common place in Sicily
    Blood bath of Corleone contradicts music of Italy

    The moon is burning as burns his heart
    Yearning for freedom & eternal art
    Of war..is it finished
    So that he can strum some notes in joy
    See there he is strumming
    A tuneful melody
    Wishing for her he looks
    There she stands..at the Balcony










  2. #2

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    up.

  4. #4

    Re: The Balcony

    Hearts burn as burns the earth
    on a hot basking Sicilian morn
    where is he? Playing his guitar
    to which …he ballads with joy
    See there is he strumming…..
    A tune of melancholy
    Waiting for her he looks
    Towards an empty balcony

    its poetic i dont really know you so i cant tell if youve elcated or anything like that

    Cultivated upon lands birthing boons of oiled
    Olives, green & black like children’s marbles
    Next to honey oat bread with spices coiled
    Cleanly cut in circles & served--then warbles
    The musician, tenor in his words & voice
    Choices flash past, memories of past desires
    Of past deceits of past treacheries, the friars
    Gather for alms—religion stilting on change
    Spare currency for the poor, charity is feigned
    Blamed by sins & guilt on his mind he rides
    Alone in the companioned winds, he confides
    To living life for a revolution, justice is blinded
    So he scatters the blindfold between the poor
    They pull at need, tightening the spited law
    Minded by Giuliano, Robin Hood chimed it
    Whores slept at his door, a chance to score
    A hit or maybe a bit—of obliqueness to result
    The lessening of their poor-ness bless the gust
    That carries the breath of his breath, his lore
    Spread like a clouded myth, bliss tore for more
    Indulgent bias, he ringed quite his Jaw
    Picking up his lupara, common place in Sicily
    Blood bath of Corleone contradicts music of Italy

    its really good youve got skill alls you need to do is ..express it fully to your potential

    The moon is burning as burns his heart
    Yearning for freedom & eternal art
    Of war..is it finished
    So that he can strum some notes in joy
    See there he is strumming
    A tuneful melody
    Wishing for her he looks
    There she stands..at the Balcony
    ..same feed as first part

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    A Recent Study Shows That 92% Of All Teenagers Have Turned Emo. Put This In Your Profile If You're One Of The 8% Who Stayed Gangsta.

  5. #5
    All Things Must Pass. Issue's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    ^ Wtf was that?

    Anyhow, 'sup Baron?

    The parts in the red font are very, very poetically written. I get a very romantic & somewhat shakespearean feel to them, Romeo & Juliet if you will, something beautiful & compellingly confusing about them. I know I can read them over & over, & they'll always compel me to find a hidden meaning or look for something within it. Maybe I think too much, lol.
    The black font was well-written, too, I especially enjoyed you rhyming scheme & the switches between them. Voacabulary was imaginative, too, I liked reading pieces that show some imagination with their wordplay & this was one of them. Good work dude.

  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    Thanks, i appreciate that.

  7. #7
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    who is this cat actin like he knows something...hahahahahaha...express it fully....it doesnt get much more expressed than that....either way...back to the buisness at hand....very ill....i loved the wordplay in this...i love the rhyme scheme and vocab....it flowed very well.....what was your inspiration for this piece???out of curiousity?either way it was very ill...i never read any of your pieces that are less than....i loved tha imagery..you paint a very vivd image with your words.....all in all very ill piece...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    Thanks...inspiration was this...Nino Rotas song called Brucia La Lunna/terra, which featured in Godfather 3 and also the book called, The Sicilian written by Mario Puzo.

  9. #9
    TreaZoN sILLable's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    thats tight..just curious....mos def love this piece...kinda short..but it was ill through and through.~1~


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  10. #10
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    Re: The Balcony

    That Fuckin Sucked Ass , Quit That Shit And Get A Day Job , Or Make Ur Mom Pay U Money For Lickin Her Clit !!! What A Wuzz

  11. #11
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    Quote Originally Posted by krab~man
    That Fuckin Sucked Ass , Quit That Shit And Get A Day Job , Or Make Ur Mom Pay U Money For Lickin Her Clit !!! What A Wuzz
    ??? what you talking about yo

    AI

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  12. #12
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    Re: The Balcony

    Quote Originally Posted by lw truth lw
    ??? what you talking about yo
    IM TALKIN ABOUT U UGLY FACE , AND THAT DICK U GOT IN UR MOUTH !!!!! DID I EVER APPROACH TO YOU ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! THEN WHY THE FUCK U EVEN CARE WHOME IM SAYIN WHAT TO ! FUCKIN PUSSY ASS DICKSWEAT !

  13. #13
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    Quote Originally Posted by krab~man
    IM TALKIN ABOUT U UGLY FACE , AND THAT DICK U GOT IN UR MOUTH !!!!! DID I EVER APPROACH TO YOU ???? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!! THEN WHY THE FUCK U EVEN CARE WHOME IM SAYIN WHAT TO ! FUCKIN PUSSY ASS DICKSWEAT !
    oksy if you say so?

    AI

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  14. #14
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    Re: The Balcony

    Quote Originally Posted by lw truth lw
    oksy if you say so?
    WOW U MIGHT BE THE SMARTEST BITCH ON THIS SITE , PROPS ON THAT .. U STILL FUCKIN UGLY THO' !!!!

  15. #15
    Cause A Fuss Truth Iscariot's Avatar
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    Re: The Balcony

    Quote Originally Posted by krab~man
    WOW U MIGHT BE THE SMARTEST BITCH ON THIS SITE , PROPS ON THAT .. U STILL FUCKIN UGLY THO' !!!!
    nah man your way smarter

    AI

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