A Backwards Life (also in audio...)

[Split.]

we ain't ready for war
as much as we say we are
what we playin' for?
time's got much more for us in store
we falsely represented
the devil is in the senate
he ain't inta repentance
minimum wage, with maximum expenses
publicly defended
by the privately offensive
intensive out patient
or relaxin' jail sentence
severance paid
for the incorporated wage
all we have to pay
is the price of an
abortion when gettin' laid
we catch aids
then catch no government aid
gotta leave when things settle
when restless we gotta stay
it's fucked up
but shits always rollin' down the hill
shrink says your fucked up
now you've gotta down a pill
we move back and forth
movin forward brings us back
we wanna even the score
but then the score wants to even it back
we go too-and-fro
dosie-doe
we kneadin' dough
we want the funds to grow
but at the least we need some yeast
to make it so!


we walk backwards, but keep our eyes on the frontlines
we stand up, just so we can sit down the next time
we make our voices heard, so the children can be silent
then we go to war, to put an end to all the violence


We live today for tomorrow
hope it's better than yesterday
sometimes we keep our mouths shut
to hear what the rest will say
we play hard...
but work even harder
we sell our souls scars
and trade dignity in the barter
we think smarter,
but drink up their ignorance
we brush aside the minor details
and lose all of the significance
we feign indifference
to the women that we love
caught up in the simple shit
complexities blown off with a shrug
we take drugs to keep it real
stay sober to really feel
trade individuality
for the mass appeal
we steal glances, on the chance
that just maybe they're lookin back
we place firm feet in our stances
just to change the plan of attack
we react calmly
to the situations that we're facin'
love the ones we're hatin
I never dial her in hopes that she'll call me
we're placin' expectations
only on the stars that are falling

Audio Version

[Ink Edible]

I personally don't think you should post that in here...'Cause as a text, it is very elementary...Blah...Audios and Texts are WAY different...

[Split.]

lmao... how is it elementary? yes, the style is simplistic.. I don't distort my writing with complex schemes and all of that non-sense...
But what's being said is definately not elementary... I mean, just look at the abundance of paradox!
Every bar has something very real to say... You don't write to show off an ability to count syllables in creative ways.. You write to get a point across... And I believe that was done very well with this... Guess it could just be me though...

[Da Patriot]

injoyed readin it

[Atti]

.. you need some links split.

as for the piece, I felt like you had a lot to say, and did a great job of putting forth very meaningful and well thought out concepts and concerns. the content was all great, the only issues I had were with the formatting and meter. although it did move well because of the uber short lines, I felt like fundamentally the rhyme schemes you used were just too basic and dependent on the short lines. obviously, the audio version probally doesnt have these problems so I cant check that. it reads as if it's probally a better audio.. it's a tad basic for tex.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=321729

[Paze]

Loved this man. I could understand every word from the aduio but was just readin through while listening anyway. Your flo was nice

[Split.]

word thanks.

[Gay Bear]

Real nice man....I really liked the short lines; crisp and to the point. Flow was there for sure, seeing as it's an audio, but I liked the choice of words. For text only, this would not be very outstanding vocab -wise, but since it;s audio...it's great. I like the meotion and the story to go into this man. I think the only thing I didn't like was perhaps the change in line length in the mdidle, but I understand why you did it, jsut not feeling it. Cool piece and audio man.

-Gay Bear

[Split.]

^thanks dude. The part where the length changed was actually the chorus, but I understand what you were saying.

[Gay Bear]

BTW hit this up for me if you can
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=323200