My Voice

[Twixn...]

My Voice



ive gripped vocals to strain the canvas
stretch it wide as i bend and land this
ink blots in transit, i'm the candidate
to validate the things i say,
its only half my fault i think this way
i grasp each jolt... as they turn to clay
burn away, your face , screams out of place
complacent traced emotion laced
with hatred n baited fate
now follow me
hollow's seep into insanity....

why can't i feel any of this love
fish for bliss in a hug
rip feelings from above
it's killing me
failing in fulfilling this prophecy
i'm awfully calm, bubbling crazy

recently ive seen the scene unfold
controlled by unintelligent souls
irrelevant goals,
cloaks and daggers,
military men that walk with a swagger
chimera's dropping bombs
and im supposed to remain calm?
its always the same song
tragedy vibrations i want gone
Yelling voices i want to hold warm
i do harm to self, to stop mental alarms
then when it hits... i'm unprepared
anger flares... and people run scared
i smash faces, with a vicious glare
some stare stuck...
terror my tool as skulls crack
chuck full grown men like infants
its rage these feelbes lack...
the regret always creeps back
wiping my knuckles of brains
how can this possible be personal gain?

with one arm i continue this hunt..
find who killed my love...
the memory's clump... my lovely dove...
family men ive crushed in this inner war
a constant search for my core
am i insane?
is it all in vain?
ill follow my hearts train
and if it stops... thoughts running free...
someone plant a bullet and cure me.

.. one link to have this reopened.

- Atty

[Oxalid D.]

Hey there man. Overall this piece was decent. I mean the flow and the rhyming were pretty good. I like the picture, really adds a lot of flavor to the piece. But I feel the story was a bit weak, like it was done before, the man looking for relief by the bullet. Overall its a decent piece that doesn't take many risks in terms of technical aspects or content but like I said before decent overall.

[Twixn...]

Hey there man. Overall this piece was decent. I mean the flow and the rhyming were pretty good. I like the picture, really adds a lot of flavor to the piece. But I feel the story was a bit weak, like it was done before, the man looking for relief by the bullet. Overall its a decent piece that doesn't take many risks in terms of technical aspects or content but like I said before decent overall.

uhm... kind of :P..

thanks.

links tommorow... sorry atti im just real tired.

ill get one tonight.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...97#post5415997

[Tragedian.]

I loved it. Flow was just beautiful all though a couple of lines seemed forced its normal we all do it. Vocab was dope, you knew exactly what you wanted and you used it to put together a dope ass piece. In my eyes the pic was just an attetion grabber and didnt have anything to do with the piece really. Shame to see this get slept on. We should collab soon and hit up HOF. and hey if you wouldnt mind some feed on "Dancing With My Body of Tomorrow" would be great. keep up homie.

[SirusX]

eh twix. long time since ive talked with you. or read your stuff but you've gotten alot better. you still have a style all your own which is good 2 see here, an your flow is getting alot more steady. I still see that your working out the kinks because some of your bars were choppy but the idea, actual writing, and structure of this peice is worth mention imo. i like the art that you posted along with your verse... did you draw that yourself? or did u just find some inspiration from that demented peice of work? lol. ne ways good job man. an get at my writ, 'She Said,'

[Moniker]

Hmm...are we allowed to post our SS tourney verses before they're voted on?

[Dyl]

Hmm...are we allowed to post our SS tourney verses before they're voted on?

Idon't think so.You can only post this up after your battle is closed, unless 'm wrong.I'll give you feed in SS

[Atti]

need one more link Twix.. I'll give it until the end of the day.

[Twixn...]

Hmm...are we allowed to post our SS tourney verses before they're voted on?

soulstice won't show...

[Da Patriot]

yo
datz deep

really feel'n dat

[Atti]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=322525

thank you.

[Ru Pious]

This piece was real smooth, but it felt like it was more in the poetry side. It should some good strong emotion. okay there and there imagry. common topic, but the structure was choppy abit. keep up the science

peep the sig

[f-gee]

more poetry than rap

disregarding genre for a second..

this was a cool piece and had some nice ideas and lines

when they were all thrown together it didn't come out as good as i thought you might do
flow was here one sec then gone the next, which led to a more poetic vibe which isnt necessarily a bad thing
i'd work on your structure more than anything, ideas and imagination seem to be fine just the way it's down on paper

started strong with flow then faded

why can't i feel any of this love
fish for bliss in a hug
^nice


recently ive seen the scene unfold
controlled by unintelligent souls
irrelevant goals,
cloaks and daggers,
military men that walk with a swagger
^flow wise dope

overall you have the tools not the mechanics, very abstract in places so perhaps what you were sayin didnt impact as much due to that
keep up!

give us a reply on Dark Matter if you got a minute

[Soule]

F Gee is dumb

Any ways....

The Wordplay was very nice and Mature. Flow was smooth and very constant. The Emotion here a perfect dude, liked it alot. The Imagenation was incredible, loved it alot. The Structre was basic and easy to read a.k.a great. The Creativty was great as well dude, keep up the great work..

~Belli

RTF on my new OM "My Memories".

[Twixn...]

F Gee is dumb

Any ways....

The Wordplay was very nice and Mature. Flow was smooth and very constant. The Emotion here a perfect dude, liked it alot. The Imagenation was incredible, loved it alot. The Structre was basic and easy to read a.k.a great. The Creativty was great as well dude, keep up the great work..

~Belli

RTF on my new OM "My Memories".

naw fgee know what hes talking about somewhat... hes a pretty good writer...

thanks for feed... ill hit up that om tonight sometime.