Lunatick vs CrosT Over

[CrosT Over]

20-30 lines max
house rules....due sat dec 30th. 11:59 pm pst
no exceptions and no extensions...i don't care if you die

topiks-
walk a lonely path
the cold goes too deep
a strange new place
exsistence
memories of the unknown
war is inevitable
prince of darkness
wretched friends make excellent enemies

[CrosT Over]

Check

[Lunatick]

In.

[Lunatick]

PRINCE OF DARKNESS

http://tn3-2.deviantart.com/fs9/300W...etic_pills.jpg


September,6,1999
2:34am
“Sleep Comes With A Cost”

Awaiting the sift of darkness within eye lids to drift me off to places undescribable
within oneself power of mind excused for just moments from reality but unreliable
as the saying goes, “sleep is the cousin of death” but why so magical
words are deep but death not a punishment but a gift and life, an obstacle
tossing and turning Why Oh Why! why not grant me the key to this passage way
leading me closer to you if this the case I must find a faster way
rising from this bed, off to the bathroom in hope of finding something to let me become of sleep
so opening the emergency cabinet taking large amounts, destination almost reached
proceed........... taking things for which I had no need
passed out, hit my head now my destination was complete


Date: Unknown
Time: Unknown
“Things Unknown”

Awoken by a distinct but aggressive voice now vanishing slowly
confused, lost, scared......were am I, know lonely
cold, real cold, dark, surroundings not noticeable but presence were felt
is this a dream for which I’ve been pursuing...................?
if so help me and undo my doings
struggling to awake but just accomplished weakening myself
walking not knowing were but none the less proceeding byself
A PAIN!! SUDDENLY HIT!! NOISES UN BEARABLE!!! FACES UNDESCRIBABLE!!!!
PAIN UNMENTIONABLE!!!! HHHEEELLLLPPPPP!!!!!!
suddenly silence broke no sound was made, thought in head of undescribable horror
Noticing bloods on the walls, and writings closing my eye tight as I sit in a corner.


July,7,2001
2:34pm
“A Second Chance”

Eyes awoken to fearced sights waiting to be encounter
hesitation to open, eye lids not obeying but forced to counter
amazed by sights I’ve now been envisioning
hospital surroundings giving supplements to one’s in need of provisioning
heads turning in states of shock, words not said gave all the explanations needed
my mine's feeded, with information sent now completed
awoken from a coma, lasting two years but in reality then were was I?
couldn’t be....death was the case, caused by overdose....suicide
....now it’s know heaven isnt the destination when taking your own life

[CrosT Over]

“A Strange New Place”

Welcoming:
“Stranger, come close, this will only cost a small fee
Can you see the tree? Down the path of your eternity,
It welcomes you with open arms, hurry go quickly”
……………………………………………………….
Could this possibly be a mockery of my philosophy?
Deceit grown, trust something I have never known?
Who planted the seed of which this tree had sprouted?
When it happened were all deeds known and accounted?
I have no faith in such trivial pursuits for these roots,
Seems as if it bares camouflage, like city men in suits

A Brief Overview:
We find this man struggling within his own grasp of sanity,
Truth we handed thee, and you laughed, what a calamity.
This is a sanctuary of silence, a place unbeknown by violence,
Nearly unheard of, in this world that’s surrounded by tyrants
Sir you’ve something that weighs your soul immensely,
Listen intensely, for this is not something we can invent see.
It’s made by thee creator, whom which we bow our heads,
We choose you for pureness, we see hearts with infrareds
The masses wouldn’t understand they can’t see the truth,
It looks like our choice was wrong, you declined the proof.

The Ending:

My issues belong in sealed black container,
For a formable retainer, I’m not an entertainer,
But I can make you laugh with enthusiasm
trust none that can’t completely fill the chasm
of my deepest fear. Is this sanctuary is false
I knew these familiar traitors were wrong……
……………….when I lost my pulse.

[CrosT Over]

bump

[1]

[Lunatick]

up.1

[Lunatick]

up.2

[CrosT Over]

Bump

[2]

[CrosT Over]

Bump

[3]

[Lunatick]

Wtf up.3

[Mr.Vodka.]

Lunatick- your drop really had a affect on me as a reader...your wording was good and it flowed well as I read it..you seemed to have a lot more emotion that CrosT did..and also had more imagery and descripitive wording which brings the drop to life....your piece contained everything it needed to get you this vote.

CrosT- not nearly the best I've seen for you..though your's had the better flow overall..it just lacked in areas like imagery and emotion...I could feel you and what it was you were trying to display but not as much as I did...Lunatick's piece...it seemed like I caught the concept you were trying to cover but had to think to hard to do it...you didn't really make it clear to the reader...

v-Lunatick

[Forum]

dat's me....couldn't poll with that name so here it goes..but that's my explanation above...so don't Dq this vote..aiight..

[Lunatick]

up.4 LINKS WILL BE HIT

[CrosT Over]

Bump

[4]