the sense of nonsense.. Atticus Ft. Brixton & Edicius

[Edicius]

Artificial Collab's -
The sense of nonsense..


Atticus
at home in homeless order, her poor hands open,
open mouths and porcelain-
the quarter fountain scoundrel can't support her hand;
can't stand to stand, downward as she looses sand
and the hourglass shatters into 2 thousand grand.
got pocket in her pocket, hence, thoughtless spence
and daddy has deep add edge,
plus or minus the wise deposit of common cents.
and when he's laying in exact change paying debt,
perhaps, he should have attached the know how
of some how making sense...
I guess he'll never know the cents,
of his nonsense.

D.H Brixton
To me its venting,
an urge to smirk at the brittle minds repenting.
Who go bezerk at work & make THAT day more inventing.
THAT'S why I think nonsense is worth defending..
THAT'S why I think sense is less commending.
THAT is what I think..
..& I link my words to worth and content, I guess its nonsense?
THAT'S what people'd express, just for the right to contest..
& make me look like I was speaking "nonsense".
But my "nonsense" is their one "sense"! I don't retreat just repeat.
Till man can see sense on the souls of their feet.
A senseless attitude defeats the meaning of sense on the streets
Who needs sense on the streets? There's only sense on this sheet,
so just read!
For the "nonsense" you see is after a 2 ounce of weed..

Edicius
there will be a day when it all makes sense..
.
.
but this day will come when you least expect it -


inflicted emotions, vague confidence combined with misplaced notions
tortured by optical illusions; unable to control the motions..
imagine the image of false imagination controlled by temptations
in a combined relation with inner frustration.. causing devastation
unable to control yourself ..and than you are forced to
facing the fact, that the facts allready faced you
striked you without a clue - your life on subdue
your being an emtpy shell wondering without a soul
life without a goal, chained down with an invisible parole
picture perfect.. when the perfect picture is blurry
you better worry, before you know it..
life reaches 40, its a bitch.. flashing you by in a hurry..




just live..

[Edicius]

faggots

[Tragedian.]

Sorry about the lack of feed Fuckers are lazy these days.
This was very nice and prolly alot of readers didn't want to read because it doesnt have a perfect structre like every kid thinking it matters, Att you opener your verse pretty nice, flow fell on a couple of lines, but you had real nice vocab and wording, knowing where the right words fit helps alot not just how nice they flow ( hope other readers of reading this. ) Your verse just really opened up the piece and had me locked for the rest. D.H you came the best imo. I don't mean to sound like that but to me your verse flowed perfect, vocab fit in very nice just like Att and you came straight to your point had me intrested and feeling the emotion that just seemed to stand out. Ed i have never seen your work, or remeber it, but you seem like you got some rust on you, to me your first line was bit to long and stretched and made the wording seem forced, other the your first to lines, i liked the rest of your verse, you came very nice with the flow but kinda went 'meh' with the vocab. I mean you went from all these big words to small shit that everyone use's lol and it kinda fucked up the flow of the piece, but your verse really did close the piece and make it complete. I wouldnt say HOF worth but deffintly nice.

[Maven.]

Word up.
All these verses were pretty solid.

Atticus-Your flow is really dope. This is the first thing I've ever read by you and I could just feel the words rolling, homie. I really dig that, because I happen to think that the thirst for even bar lengths kills a lot of the creativity from writers on this site. You are a perfect example of how syllable count does not equal flow...the words themselves create the flow. I also liked the flip on the topic (though it was a bit of a no brainer) and you pulled it off well. The line about lying the in the remnants of an hourglass was very nice.

Brix-Your verse seemed very stream of consciousness, which can work pretty well sometimes, but I think the line about chronic at the end kind of cheapened it. I did like the emphasis of the THATs earlier in the piece, I could hear it in my head. You took a pretty straightforward approach to the topic and the line about finding sense on the soles (souls) of feet pretty much summed up the idea of the piece. Was the spelling of soles/souls intentional? Even if it was a mistake, it made the line have a larger application to "the big questions" and all that shit, so cudos.

Eddy, baby, I haven't read your shiet in a while and it didn't disappoint. I especially liked the flipping of phrases: Face facts, facts face you. Picture perfect, perfect picture. It was nice. Your flow was a little difficult to get down with at the beginning, but I caught it soon afterwards. Good work =)

One thing you could have done to make this collab sexier was to actually work together. If you'd all decided on one concept to work on and all told the same story, or wrote about the same perception of the topic, it would have been truly collaborative and dope. Not that it wasn't dope.
Peace

[Edicius]

yea concept wise we didnt really agreed on anything + as for me, i havent wrote in a few.. so this came up off top from the head without any real planningshit who cares, we all to busy to come together in a aim meeting to discuss a topic ;o

we will soon though ;d ..i think ;p

[Ki Da Kid]

Atticus- great vocab, wordplay and imagery. verse was fire. 10 of 10.

D.H Brixton-good vocab, flow was a little off, but good wordplay as well. 8.5 of 10.

Edicius-Great intro, it fits good, i felt the flow, wordplay was on point. 9.5 of 10

[B.I.Detained.]

Cheers!