20 - 40 lines
Due Friday at 11:59
Topics - w/e just drop
If Constance lose he lose his accout to wittness same for Wittness.
20 - 40 lines
Due Friday at 11:59
Topics - w/e just drop
If Constance lose he lose his accout to wittness same for Wittness.
check
fuck friday, due today
I'll show.
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Voters just in case you're cofused this is a poetry battle not topical ..Ima drop In 15 min
Wtf @ 20-40 Line Poetry Battle?
Bluebop Dream
of bebop jazz
http://www.poolpaintings.com/images/...o_Blues_lg.jpg
Yield to the heat on a humid,
Summer's day. A shady-bluesy
Grey for those soaked-shirt worries.
Jazzy-cats search for a
Mellow spot, but find their collective
Cool, too hot. So scatter, off-beat
Fiends to the dark corners of jazz
Clubs and saxophone smoke. Where
Mixed eclectic beats gather and dissipate,
Through an atmospheric haze of,
Musical nonesuch and rhythmical
Nonsense.Frolic in contemplative lines,
Of melodied fractions and noted equations.
Refrained chess with brass and wooden pieces,
For open ears.
Stringed quartets for revelrous dusks,
And trumpeters for dawns, who lay these
Railroad rhythms and rolling boxcar tones on
Traveler's ears and dog-gone dogs.
Frequent the abstract and find yourself one,
And the same. Amid the lurid and,
Brilliant schemes of a wavy summer
Afternoon, silver puddles reflect
The mid-day musings of molecular
Yammer. Escape the heat on a
Breezy rooftop, and you still get stuck
In the baking tar.From up here,
The city looks like one wavy
Sketchy-blur; Impressionistic and,
Spanning. Sullen hues of unfocused
Grandeur, where the skycraped forest
Yearns for the cool of late night
Baritones. With worn ivory keys,
Thelonious told me
"Well you needn't play the jazz,
To know the blues . . ."
sorry, shit came up, important shit
I will be dropping though, tomorrow.
please don't do a bitch move and get me dq'd
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http://www.christcenteredmall.com/st...jesus-wept.jpg
Bye-Bye Baby Jesus
Hearts tick, amidst on-going war
blood cells fight HIV and flu
skin cancer smothers life in it's grasp
Death knocks at the door,
a guest in this house
Life skips through the evergreen glades
hand in hand with material posessions
death is left out
push aside, forgotten
Eternity is a bonus, heaven: a pot house
earth slow dances, on a rod of uranium
aliens, heard but not seen, fear is obscene
Belief is not to believe, but pretend to
Middle east: war, poverty and our resources
broken countries, keeps US alive, oil strives
The Bible left to mould, crys an inward wail of despair
as the candle flickers, no longer needed
filament bulbs, attack our eyes with rays of despise
war films swing on our heartstrings,dampen our eyes
But the real thing is overlooked, arrogance is bliss
ignorance: a day to day routine: we call this life?
God's acidic tears, fall on a pool of judgement
The earth spins on a broken axis
When Satan waves his magic wand
Any hope left for this world
is gone.
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votes would be nice
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dopeness
This was a very very hard decision for me and i hate to do it as i still beleive that pink slips are useless and i reckon both of you should forget about em.
Constance: A very very good piece, i really liked each description and the vocabulary was enhancing the atmoshpere...however, i noticed 1 or 2 typos/mistakes..idk like the word bluesy is realted to Jazz/blues, so that's all good but it was used to describe the colour...hmmm that irked me a bit, less like imagery and more like mistake..idk...anyhow, the mistakes didn't have the biggest impact on me personally as i still liked the description and fluidity.
Wit: The atmoshpere wasn't as stron as constances poem..if it were on atmoshpere constance would get it which is surprising however, i do have to take in other factors before a decision. I liked the topic, as you know i'm always on a religious tip with society ties in there as i like topics like that, not the most original but points as i like them types of topics. It was fluid and i never had much problem with flow. Once again i notcied 1 mistake in your piece, instead of slowly you put slow which irked me a little. overall, it was a very good piece though.
Verdict: Well to be honest i liked them both for different reasons...this is how i see it..Constance got flow and atmosphere hands down...however, Witness got metas, personification and interest. so for me witness got this on 3 points against C's 2..unfortunanatly i have to vote, very good pieces and Constance i'm sure you'll be a driving force in poetry soon.
\/ Witness.
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Word to the voters: wittness is i SS ad there for this Pinkslip or Bann match can't take place uppin
Word these pieces were dope i liked the imagery in both of them and yall both had great flow and everything, it seems like a little bit more could have been done, use some more vocab maybe, but other than that this was a pretty even matched battle, if i had to vote though i would give it to constance for being a tad bt more consistant with hit wording and his style. No Hate to witness ya piece was dope too, it was on of the more interesting battles ive read lately.
Pz
HIT LINKS PLZ>
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