Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: Dissecting A Murder

  1. #1
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    33
    Posts
    6,559
    Battle Record
    41-9
    Awards 25+ Wins

    Dissecting A Murder

    Dissecting a Murder

    by


    John Morrison



    C
    R
    I
    M
    E

    D
    R
    A
    M
    A

    P
    U
    B
    L
    I
    S
    H
    I
    N
    G


    Dedicated to
    the Masses

    9
    Misanthropic and I’m missin’ the tropics,
    Razorblade fiasco in my wallet and chewing gum in my pocket,
    Thick sunglasses over a killer’s eyes, except no one knows
    he’s a killer. Standing so close in my proximity and dizziness
    overwhelms the ignorant. Blink. Island breeze.
    The sedative.
    Cough.
    The plastic pass-off credit card.
    Encouraging smile.
    The sting.
    Revolver is not loaded – the fraction of a murderer.
    The kill.
    The serum. Period. The end.

    10
    New identity revolves the Beretta around the enemy,
    But the clean shaven morning musk man I can’t begin to be
    is the winner – me.
    Cayman Island account. Reinhart transfers at twelve
    and the novel hits the final chapter. There are no author
    headers at the end. Maybe a fake alias and the
    surname are dead ringers for a person as faded
    like the wash on a dead man’s jeans.
    Decapitated emotions and a mechanical
    notion. Killing machine circuitry is a
    haywire function. Period. The end.

    The mood is garish.

    Trash. Complete trash. Garbage in a sea
    of crumpled papers. Perpetrators imitating me.
    Yes. A Schizophrantic fugue.

    Prologue preemie. The endurance of coffee
    and sleeping pills is like a stakeout, trying to
    find the right words to say at the computer
    monitor. The insomnia is impressive – yet
    old. Writers are always this eccentric, yes.
    They are always a little off.

    "Honey, come back to bed." She nags.

    "Shut up, Cathie."

    "What?"

    "I said, I’ll be there in a moment."

    "Erm." Lover's drone.

    Difficulties. Sometimes the switch
    is almost involuntary. My hand itches
    for the Beretta. That’s right, Cathie. The gun
    I purchased without you knowing.

    Blurring into a dead man’s post mortem.
    The state is serene like dawn napalm in
    ‘Nam. Killing antics.

    "Honey!" Cathie urges.

    "Shove it, Cathie." I spit

    "What?" I've been married too long.

    "I said, I love you baby." Lover's croon.

    "Yeah, I bet."

    The perfect mystery cannot
    be read and reread by the author.
    It is like a curse, like seeing the
    bride before the marriage.

    Writer’s block.

    Asleep and drooling.

    I wake up and I don’t know where I
    am. It is harder to find myself than to
    find where I lie.

    "Cathie, did you place me in the woods
    holding a Beretta towards a bound man?" Inquisitve rain.

    "What ever are you talking about?"

    "You know, very well what I am talking about." Switch ravel.

    Bang!

    The Final Chapter

    Crooked demeanor of a smile, and twisted
    face. Follow a sextant of a crime.

    Cathie slumps. The gun drops. I return to my
    position at the desk. I bang my hand on the keyboard
    and return to the bed, where Cathie lies in a
    peaceful sleep. My breathing is raspy and my
    voice is a hoarse roar. In an oblivious state, I
    proclaim, “Sometimes the things you love are
    forever. Sometimes they are temporary. But everything
    you love will not make it –“The trigger is pulled.
    Period. The end.

    I guess mystery writers are not supposed
    to double as murderers. I knew the role all
    too well.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  2. #2
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    33
    Posts
    6,559
    Battle Record
    41-9
    Awards 25+ Wins
    Up. You people are lazy.

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    36
    Posts
    20,486
    Battle Record
    37-7
    Awards Legendary Member PC HOF OM HOF PS Season champ SS HW Champion 25+ Wins
    WEll the vocabulary was very high and some words floated over my head lol...but yeah this is a style i've seen before though where i have no idea, but the way it's used in this is near excellent, you really are getting the hang of delivering dope consistantly, what i really liked was the last haf the whole murder situation na mean. That was vivid enough to put characters in my mind, like i could picture the wife and the husband actually speaking out the dialouges, dialouges are a hit or miss, a hit in this though. The frist two lines, the opener was dope the way your rhymed there that was very clever...so yeah, overall i really liked it, nice job na mean.

    couple of comments, thanks
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=316128

Similar Threads

  1. Murder Me; Murder You (I'll rtf)
    By Iphorill in forum The Studio
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: June 6th, 2010, 12:25 AM
  2. Voices. Murder. Caught. A Murder Story.
    By Navy Marine in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: August 18th, 2006, 05:43 AM
  3. A Murder...
    By Flavin. in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: June 23rd, 2006, 09:43 PM
  4. GT vs Murder C
    By gOldEn tUCh in forum Closed Battles
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: July 2nd, 2005, 10:08 PM
  5. Irv Gotti To Drop The "Murder" From Murder Inc.
    By Baron Mynd in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 38
    Last Post: November 21st, 2003, 09:35 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •