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Thread: "Understanding The Unknown"

  1. #1
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    "Understanding The Unknown"

    Sleepless Nights-
    My rose red candle burns and yearns for what
    lies upon the canvas of life so i've learned-to
    keep a brandished knife steady with dexterity
    so that I may strike with no sincerity, my pen-
    moves merrily as I inherite thee-perception of
    words which no one shall perish I cherish-every
    thought in which rises the spirit like yeast at
    least...for a moments glance-just long enough
    to understand...why?..My mother used to try
    and answer this question for me, not knowing
    it was of a rhetorical nature, she would say..
    "People only criticize what they don't understand..
    the people that think they do, don't understand"-
    I laughed as she poured more coffee into my
    already half-filled cup-Spoken wisdom can sometimes
    be overlooked by the evil kisses of vanity which
    tend to entise the soul of anybody weak at heart
    and mind-a hardened spine could'nt back me up-
    coming within close brushes of its fatal attraction,
    growing weaker by the weekly-it fixed itself onto
    me and sucked every bit of understanding, leaving
    me in an almost abstract stature-I shake it off...I
    shake it off not because it is mandatory but..but
    because I must, I trust-that if I ever observed a
    rose growing from concrete then I will have perceived
    the inperceivable-thus understanding the unknown-
    They say seeing is believing, but on the contrary-
    believing is seeing...faith is key-
    As I wait patiently...

    i had no intentions on building around making the words rhyme..i just wrote what came to me ....so keep that in mind when feeding...


    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post5246963
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...67#post5246967
    Last edited by ..IllThoughtZ..; October 30th, 2006 at 01:25 AM

  2. #2
    Expression Is Everything XM's Avatar
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    Nice fucking free verse you got there, imagry was outstanding, haven't read such a drop like this in a long time, your emotion was amazing, a complete understand of writing is give'n here, altho im still trying to find out who you are seeing as you and I are both former IJL heads i think i've seen this style of writing before, im not going to leave much of feed here i'll do that on your next drop i'll just ponder as to who you really are but other then that this wasn't a bad piece at all, not at all props oh and much props on the vocabulary

    -Xtreme Malice

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    Mic in my plam like the trident in the hand of Poseidon

  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    this was definatley adeserved read right here man str8 emotion and nice up tempo read man...i liked how it wasa freeverse yet it had a sense of scheme and style of grace and the vocab used in this piece was nicely served out...assorted and not cramped what so ever nothing really was or seemed forced at or by any means man nice drop here and you neing a former IJL is koo cus i now anma IJL member and i think this piece right here wasa nice individual piece with such deep emotion and the dictino and flow of content was nice...keep the drops coming man!
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  4. #4
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    Pretty damn good. I liked this piece alot because of the feel and excellent Imagery and Vocab in it. Obviously the rhyme scheme was way different from what you're accustom to seeing but that's good. Nice job. Keep up.
    -Insert Sig-



  5. #5
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    thanks for feed but im still hungry so keep it coming...upppp

  6. #6
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    this was deff a surprise i wasn't expecting this when i looked in the thread...the way you opened it really caught me and made me wanna keep reading..flow was nice off on some lines..couldve been better with multies but they aint needed all the time..vocab was good you had the right sense of vocab and put the right words where the needed to be...and i love the way you did the topic very creative...leave feed on my oms in sig please...keep up.
    Empire

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    This was a dope drop for a free write. The emotion was crazy and filling the piece with complexity was your vocab and wording. Thos were all strong points from this piece. Short and sweet made for the typical reader. Topic's creativity was nice to see. people don't really play on the topic like they should to show that extra creativeness. that some(most) of us have. It flowed well as i read through it. Overall this was a good read. Keep it ^

    RTF plz.
    Last edited by Forum; October 30th, 2006 at 01:46 PM


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    thanks and i will rtf ...bump....

  9. #9
    good job convertin emotions into werds visual whuz good i digz ya piece good drop
    HOFFA......

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    ^^^dude stop wasting keystrokes...i think u need to like stop commenting on OM's because your understanding of things isnt up to par...no offense...bump

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    shyttt...bump

  12. #12
    fuck u mean my understanding aint up to par?......

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    plzz quit freeposting...thank u

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jhonny Cash
    fuck u mean my understanding aint up to par?......
    like you can't spell johnny lol

    but anywayz great piece here Good emotion, good wording and structure, good vocab and i liked the flow, Great imagery made readers feel like they were you or at least me i don't know about the others lol, good flow and rhyme scheme, overall creative great piece

    Keep it coming my man

    AI

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  15. #15
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    thanks alot ...
    appreciate the feed....bump

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