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Thread: Walks Of Life.

  1. #1
    Legend.
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    Walks Of Life.

    Meta. Convicts first collab.

    Thomas and Westbank.


    Birth and Childhood
    Awaking in a crib, lights and people surround
    Making unusual connotations when I start on the ground
    As I grow a lil older, memory of being a baby becomes distant
    It used to be crawling; now Elementary school is my persistent
    Meeting new friends and running home off the big yellow bus
    I’m now in 3rd grade and my life is rolling in a continuous rush
    “Tomorrow's middle school”, I cringe at my mothers’ words of true
    Then just sitting in a quiet class with ppl but in a realm of alone to subdue
    At every school year, I always hate the beginning, but then get attached
    Now its high school... Drama, Girls, and looking fresh not to mismatch
    My life is spiraling quickly; I’m almost out of school and left no clue
    What to do when I leave resides my mind in a congested construe
    Senior year…It’s good to be almost done, now its time for the real domain
    But I graduate with no clue, leaving my dreams at a paused disdain

    Adulthood
    Business is just money, and in return their both the same
    Staying financially well and having a family just to maintain
    Being young was thrilling, but the world is steadily knocking
    From getting kids ready for school, to the New York stocking
    I never thought about getting old, it used to always be so far off
    But reality hits home when you feel excruciating pain with every cough
    “I’m half way thru my life”…My mind releases scary visions
    Ever looming health catastrophes causing painful knife incisions
    With ever growing age comes more responsibility tasks to behold
    My parents used to plan and over watch, but tis my life left to unfold
    Wife and kids look up to me, I just have to be the perfect model to role
    With each New Year brings happiness, but raises my deaths toll
    Being a kid, I couldn’t wait to grow up, now I can only look in the past
    Now being an adult, I wish to be young again and for it to ever last

    Old Age and Death.
    Knees weak with arthritis whilst I paint green veins
    Arteries strike a purple & nausea holds the reigns
    Dusty old chapters chatter to fill my empty time
    And dusty old chaps fill empty glasses with wine
    I dine in an old chapel whilst shredding old flesh
    Meshed bones loosen up & muscles fail the test
    It’s in my own interest to prayer with lead beads
    The priest reads prayers the man heeds stares
    Then convulses whilst in conversation of his sins
    Sins from past days & sins that last days in grey films
    He chokes blood & stutters spittle yet save the shame
    Priest listens, not a kin he only plays the religious game
    Dying form old age released from a soiled cage, he stops
    Finally, time ends & his personal clocks end its tick-tocks
    Last edited by Messiah.; June 8th, 2007 at 02:50 AM
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  2. #2
    Legend.
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    Legend.
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  3. #3
    Legend.
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    Feed please.
    Legend.
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  4. #4
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Dope when this get put up lol..nice one West

  5. #5
    Soule
    Guest
    Well;

    The wording was nice from both. Nice Flow; smooth. The Creativty was nice from both with a better emotion from Pak. The Collab together was nice. Could have had more imagenation. But oh well. Keep writing.

    ~Blind.

  6. #6
    Legend.
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    Thanks...More Feed please.
    Legend.
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  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    This was a good Collab and I like how descriptive each drop was in position with it 's theme. First verse Very nice rhyme scheme worked well. structure was good. imagery was cool. multi's would've did this part justice. Second verse The first two lines made me want to read it more it conatined good imagery and irony. Third verse PAK at it again this one had the best imagery and wording, I see that you did the best job at the end which added to the building of the collab>good shit. Overall this was a good collab as a whole but the first two verse just need more multi's and better wording aside from that this was a good Drop. RTF PLZ..........


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  8. #8
    Legend.
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  9. #9
    Legend.
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    Feed please.
    Legend.
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  10. #10
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    .............sorry for the free post but could you............... RTF Plz


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    ___________________
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    Open Mic's


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  11. #11
    Legend.
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    Yeh i'll hit it up.
    Legend.
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  12. #12
    S.N.I.C.....is no more... Don Q's Avatar
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    good use of lyrical text. it was kinda original but in a good way. betta come up stronger against me though. you got this post on lock.
    I'm not necessarily the original, more like the new but don't ever compare me to another.

  13. #13
    Legend.
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    Thanks...More Feed please.
    Legend.
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  14. #14
    Legend.
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    Feed Please.
    Legend.
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  15. #15
    Newbie GrimSoul's Avatar
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    I honestly liked it. I think in the collab there was some vivid imagery for the reader to see. It was a basic style, but it flowed very smooth and was easy to read and understand. As for the concept I think it coulda went more in depth, but not a bad read!
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