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Thread: Untold Stories

  1. #1
    Newbie
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    Untold Stories

    Untold Stories


    [verse 1]
    46 secs. - 1:31

    now the story begins, with a girl who had no friends
    her real name was Lisa, but they called her Chubby Lumpkins
    she was 12 years old, livin' all on her own
    no support group at school or even at home
    she was an unwanted child, and so she never cracked a smile
    during gym kids laughed when she couldn't run the mile
    she never fit in, no clicks would ever want her
    so when her weight became an issue, it would always haunt her
    to the very core, seeing skinny women in the magazines
    made her fall in love with the blade that was damaging
    she never wanted to die, just a little love and affection
    and when she didn't get it, she continued stressin'
    and when her mom didn't notice the scars below her hands
    she decided that was it, time for the last stand
    many years of pain and torture led up to this very moment
    here she lays in a casket, no emotions, arms folded

    [verse 2]
    1:55 - 2:40

    Alex always had friends, not a worry in the world
    did good in school and dated the popular girl
    he loved her to death, nobody could tear 'em apart
    Alex gave her a ring and vowed to never tear her heart
    ...that was true for years until Alex started college
    he was introduced to drugs, thats when he broke his promise
    money for books, turned to money for weed
    and then money for weed, turned him into a coke fiend
    so his grades started slippin, then classes he started ditchin'
    and when his girl found out, she couldn't bring herself to forgive him
    now he's on his own, and he's walkin' all alone
    down this long and dusty road...he can't even go home
    ashamed of his life and what he's become he fiends so bad
    that he ran out of money and started robbin' for cash
    until one day he's caught up in an undercover heist
    and he stabs a cop, now he's servin' 25 to life

    [verse 3]
    3:05 - 3:51

    Reggie was born in the ghetto always around hustlers
    he used to deal for paper, sellin' white to his customers
    but thats not what he wanted, so he found another way
    called himself P Rock and started livin' on the stage
    spent a year homeless with his pen and his pad
    jottin down his thoughts everytime that he got mad
    then his luck changed and he got the long awaited call
    a record deal was on its way, CD due out in the fall
    so he got hooked up with a producer, kept it ruthless
    he went platinum in a month and the cockyness turned to foolishness
    turned his back on his homies that he hustled with on the block
    his hood used to love him, then one day it all stopped
    he was blinded by the money and he never had a clue
    went home thinkin' it was cool and got robbed for his loot
    as his chain was being ripped from his neck, he pulled the glock
    but the other dude pulled it first...that's where the story stops

    (soon to be done in audio and on my myspace)

    Links:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313244
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=313268
    Yo it's RhymeSkeme...I'm back bitches!!
    Bloodz4Life hacked my account and got me banned...
    But I have returned to hook up with the old crewmates!!

    O.M.'s

    Untold Stories

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    32 Bars of My Life

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  2. #2
    Newbie
    Join Date
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    Location
    RiverCity, WI
    Age
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    uppin'
    Yo it's RhymeSkeme...I'm back bitches!!
    Bloodz4Life hacked my account and got me banned...
    But I have returned to hook up with the old crewmates!!

    O.M.'s

    Untold Stories

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    32 Bars of My Life

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  3. #3
    Redwood Ryan's Avatar
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    Wisconsin
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    12-8
    dope nice flow i'll leave more feed later

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    28-5
    now the story begins, with a girl who had no friends
    her real name was Lisa, but they called her Chubby Lumpkins


    lol


    seems you put in some good humour with a neat write here.flow was smooth not exactly exciting for me but on point all the . a few rhymes seemed a bit forced. like magazines & damaging.if they were meant to rhyme that is......


    i diddnt like it ending on dude pullin a glock of all weapons. and then rhyming it out like that killed it a lil for me. i mean theres like 1000000 other guns out their aint been played yet that could be pooped ya nah mean.n fuck smifff n wes as well.lol
    str8 forward story. but a nice smooth write still


    piece

    1
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