Follow The Leader

[Chris Topher]

Follow The Leader

Taking steps, we march on slow into our daily races
Look out and in to find nothing but our paling faces
Not understanding the plots our lives will carry out
So we do as yesterday and continue to move about
Accepting the gift without taking it once for granted
We don't like these days, for we are just demanded
Set apart from oneself, to make way for other glory
Glancing back only to see myself in others like me
Frightened and battered, my thoughts start to fade
My skin in the sunlight, now beginning to peel away
I see nobody is different, all with the same purpose
To exalt and magnify the life of an unnamed person
As the heaven's stretch and the clouds open wide
I see my reason for life, hidden on my hearts inside
Not knowing it was there, I startled and stuttered
Like a robot would, I began my day like every other
Today seemed different oddly so, I didn't get it yet
But when I heard the voice, this I will never forget

"...what does the LORD your God require of you?
He requires you to fear him, to live according to his
will, to love and worship him with all your heart...."

The master plan is tarnished, yet we can try to fix it
Follow your heart, not your mind, that is the mission
Though inconsistent, if we cotinue to stay persistent
We can know how to follow the path of our existence

[Chris Topher]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311852
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311760

[ExDaGawd]

Pretty coo drop fam, Structure was nice. (reminded me of mines). Flow was good throught struc helped it alot. Conten and creativity were very well displyed, Impressive. Story and the meaning behind it was pretty cool could've been a little better tho none of the less;

I see nobody is different, all with the same purpose
To exalt and magnify the life of an unnamed person
As the heaven's stretch and the clouds open wide
I see my reason for life, hidden on my hearts inside


Today seemed different oddly so, I didn't get it yet
But when I heard the voice, this I will never forget

^^Feelin those lines, Keep it up fam.

[mindstate]

ight this was a real good peice no lie
ur structure was there VERY easy ta read
and it really couldnt look anymore proffessional
the flow i was DEFITLY feeling..it was there
i could EASILY envision this to a beat
vocab was pretty complex but not too complex
to the point that it loses its meaning
and it was still wordz people are familiar wit
so props to that all the way

wasnt too long niether it was about enough
ta comfortably read it doesnt drag on
and it isnt too short so props for that too

i'd give this a 9/10 keep it up

[Chris Topher]

I'll get to yours soon Ex Cal...sorry been busy...more feed please people

[D. Josey]

This was a pretty cool piece all in all. I don't believe you're a new member though. The rhymes were so cordinated, but that fit well in this piece. The only thing I would say is loosen up man. Your structure was so tight though, and you could've made it more sleek. You know? good piece though man, keep writing. I'll be looking forward to it.

[Bilayer]

Not understanding the plots our lives will carry out
So we do as yesterday and continue to move about
Accepting the gift without taking it once for granted
We don't like these days, for we are just demanded
Set apart from oneself, to make way for other glory
Glancing back only to see myself in others like me
Frightened and battered, my thoughts start to fade
My skin in the sunlight, now beginning to peel away
I see nobody is different, all with the same purpose
To exalt and magnify the life of an unnamed person


This was very nice mann you have a very nice rhyme scheme mann an i like your use of words this piece was well thought out and you had a very nice rhyme schem i like your imagery a lot in this piece i like this drop and and look foward to reading ur pieces in the future

[Bilayer]

hit my piece up a Breathless Death

[Twixn...]

i definatli like the last 4 lines...

and this one

Frightened and battered, my thoughts start to fade
My skin in the sunlight, now beginning to peel away

i thought you had a pretty simple set of vocabulary here but it was still enough to make it an interesting read... the topic has been touhed on quite often... and i felt you didint really bring anything unique to it... however you coverd the basics well and came out a with an above average read... well done... you write alot like i did in my first stages of writing... nice work.

[Raw Reese]

Nice peice, Good non-stop flow, that really helped it, plus ur strucutre was about perfect so it wasent wacked out to read, the vocab used was pretty good, very intersting topic though it has been used sometimes, still made it a uniqe one

Though inconsistent, if we cotinue to stay persistent
We can know how to follow the path of our existence

thats the best line i liked, the closer...to me, it accutaly ment somthing, made me think about this OM even deeper...Good Read, hope to see more OM's from you in the future

[Chris Topher]

uppin this for more feed...will get to the other links soon

[P. Mortuus]

This was a cool piece, from the visual presentation to the content all was in check. YOur story or solilquay was very good though your vocab was limited in parts as repetitiveness commenced once in a while. Nothing serious though, i really liked the rhyming all properly done to allow the flow to pick up and emerse the reader into the scene that is being carried out. A good piece with very good description. Overall, i liekd it, nothing much more i can say, except reach out for more concepts and use a braoder range of vocabulary and myabe paly around with more imagery. Very good fresh piece indeed, Stay up^.

[C.Wrighter]

good drop i like some of ur lines that made this pice go ova the top and keep me readin it

like the's

Glancing back only to see myself in others like me
Frightened and battered, my thoughts start to fade
My skin in the sunlight, now beginning to peel away

that right there also made the picture come out and mean more then what i though it would

rtf check out my OM in the sig

[Junio]

this was NICE. although the flow and mechanics were sort of simple, the content made up for it. it was very thought provoking. its not like other short pieces which lack content, this was the perfect length and it did its job. i especially liked the last 6 lines.

hit up my OM, "prison and betrayal."

[Tragedian.]

this was a really good drop the first i have seen from you and i like it alot...you had a really nice strutre goin on that was easy to read and not many stretched lines...you had some real good sense of vocabs put the right words in the right place and it wasnt to simple nor complex....had some aight multies couldve been better...and you told the story very creative alot better than i thought it was gonna be...keep up and hit the sig,