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Thread: Inside Demons. Feat Xplicit Talent.

  1. #1
    Soule
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    Inside Demons. Feat Xplicit Talent.

    Blind
    Xplicit


    I hear you; but you've faded into my memories
    My past. Almost like you never existed in life
    With a see through appearence; crying at night
    Fighting the demons that devour you're soul
    Leaving you a mess; attacking you're control
    Blackmail you're very existence. Bite you're heart
    Take you in a blackness; ripping you apart
    I want you here. But I cant help you, I'm sorry
    You're gone already; the demons wont allow escape
    Their just too enraged and controlled by power and hate
    Since I decided to fallow you're foot steps and leave
    Then enjoy my existence; qwivering when I bleed
    I lead the monsters that ate you're pain and panic
    Shallowing the ground of you're blue&green planet
    Like Satan; resting in my hide away version of hell
    But I never understood, why you loved the way I dwell
    Inside Demons. Leaving you raped and drained of innisence
    While all you're humanity is left dead; enternaly silenced
    While the demons work on snatching souls
    The inside demon loses his strife
    Turn to the devil who who gives him advice
    Closes this eyes without thinkin Twice
    Lights open their minds hopin to shine in the darkness...
    Time sings a melody of life, minds get sharpened...
    The gates of Heaven swing open, children let alive...
    A thread of hope rose when the Devil closed his eyes...
    The argument to split a true love ends in embracement...
    Given to the will to endure, hatred...no trace of it...
    Sacred are the moments when not a soul cries...
    Waitin for the hope to arise then He closed his eyes....
    Life gives balance and balance brings neutrality...
    Light, dark, evil and kindness brinin in casualties...
    Mothers wait at windows for busses to bear seeds...
    While stalkers wait at schools with candy to steal these...
    Sun’s rise and moons fall together in a pattern...
    One claims the stock of an empire like it matters...
    Economies rise to give death to small communities...
    Segregation and separatism negate thoughts of unity...
    Gutters run with blood shed as one dead and stripped...
    The one that got away ran a block, got pistol whipped...
    Street lights dim, then flicker arousing screams....
    From the alley way emerge demons with keys in their jeans...
    One child’s shortcut becomes a mother’s hell on earth...
    While one lost traveler embodies forgotten birth...
    A soldier from the depth of war comes home to celebration...
    Knowing that without justice, he destroyed a nation...
    The world seems to have little care for habitant lives...
    But the balance takes effect when the Devil closes his eyes
    ...

  2. #2
    Soule
    Guest
    Upps.

  3. #3
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    uppin for feed
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  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Awards SS HW Champion Haiku Champion FL Champion PS Champion/IE Champion WOP Champion OM HOF PC HOF 50+ Wins
    This was a nice overall piece..Blind your verse was iight..not bad..good flow and multies...your vocab was god as well...X..your shit was good..nice vocab,imagery,and your mettas were sick...really nice multies as well...this was a well tohught out piece..and overall this would be a 8.4/10 piece...Good Drop
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    this was nice 8/10 i was feelin xplicit talents verse more both were pretty dope keep droppin

    fav bar from x...
    Gutters run with blood shed as one dead and stripped...
    The one that got away ran a block, got pistol whipped...

    fav from blind....
    Fighting the demons that devour you're soul
    Leaving you a mess; attacking you're control

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  6. #6
    Soule
    Guest
    Thank you both.

  7. #7
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Ya a good colab..took me long to get around to it. Both of you droppped some good poetics but wording and concept issues dented the overall quality. X you are much better at topicals as i can see you had to stop rythm in parts to give it a poetic flair. Don't do that as it becomes obvious when you use that kind of rhymescheme. Blind your was aight to but instead of dialogue statements you really should have indirectly or directly added hihger mases of metaphors. Overall ,it was an aight piece, if you both spend more time next round maybe you could impress me in poetical terms...Stay up^.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  8. #8
    Soule
    Guest
    Thanks.

  9. #9
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    thanx uppin for more feed
    Left2Right


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  10. #10
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Closed. More than 2 poems open.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

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