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Thread: A Collage of Missing Piece Feat. Exact

  1. #1
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    A Collage of Missing Piece Feat. Exact

    A Collage of Missing Pieces.


    Xplict_talent

    Take a moment and sing from my worn lungs.
    An echo is forming around the blood on my gashed tongue.
    Razorlines guide my mind into the depths of my intellect.
    Windchimes rhyme to the ticking time as I outline what is left.
    A silhoutte of my outstretched wings gleams across a pink sky.
    A beating chest slows to death and I seem to dream and drink lies.
    Look high to the stars for hope and confidence,
    Wish for eternal Peace.
    Closed eyes forget scars with a rope around my conscience,
    Ink is my only release.
    Witness my image from others eyes, hating my reputation.
    Finish each sentence before a die, completing my imagination.
    Paint a skyline with no guidelines, An atmosphere of fears and ink
    A faint lost mind that hides behind mirrors. With only tears to drink
    The headlights that shine bright dimmed my destined fate
    Upset cries define the fight I fought with an explicit hate
    A paper mache heart beats beneath the falling rain.
    Begins to deteriorate. and fall to pieces from the pain.
    Acidic tears burn creases across my pale cheeks.
    Sadistic fears return the second my wrist bleeds.
    A cutout of an angel, painted with black and greys
    From the sky it dangles, tainted from everlasting days.
    It's wings are tired, still it flaps its feathers towards the stars.
    Eyes of fire and no laughs are better for the ones in charge.
    No point in this, a pointless pen exists in my lack of interests.
    No ink abyss, Just drinkless kids that have never felt their lips.
    Life's a surprise, wait for the second the lights are on.
    Then open your eyes and learn a lesson of perfection from beyond.
    Before the clouds cover current conditions, listen to the wind.
    For the loud ignorant sentence, recieve permission to pretend.
    Imagine a cabin of an unfathomed day with no seconds to waste
    An imperfect face that tries to erase its replaced fate.
    The puzzle pieces fell in your lap, Help my life back together please.
    I struggle to stand up and laugh, but my voice still waits to scream.
    Look to my pages, the collage of missing pieces I've breeded
    Witness the stages of the lost secrets and breath in what's needed..


    Exact

    You and yours truly to duel against this fable of love,
    Push and shove for an equal blessing without any of the above,
    I feel you and the epiletic jitter of something in joy,
    Still choice against your deception of my sweet noise,
    Rehearsing the poise and still walking down the aisle,
    First night deja vu as I melted when I saw you smile,
    Brunette file, ununiformed against a daring style, when you walked,
    I couldn't tell the words I had said, if I repeated them when we just talked,

    Relapse across empty walls, empty halls. . .

    Converse with an equal opportunity, yes this is unity,
    Hugging myself with dyslexic fear is opposing immunity,
    Tunic shock still facing the tuned disaster as I rock,
    Bobbing my head to Grandfather's age as I tick-tock,
    You were never there, my mind is trying to assauge,
    Everything my brain put together, just a mental collage,
    A montage of flickering scenes, crooked thoughts lean,
    At me being INsomnia as I refuse to try and clean my dream-
    catcher nets all tangle and twisted, if you were ever there I missed it,
    And if the carboard insert was ever in my living room, Sorry I kissed it,

    I love you.
    .you love I.
    Irresponisble sentences and fragments.
    From your dyslexic friend.
    Forgive me.



    Feed links

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=309859
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=311350
    Left2Right


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  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    wow i actually loved this collab...both came well in organization and commrodarie here was just excellent both of you knew each others verse and used it to compliment each other in your writing which is a very good thing...both of you used nice vocaba nd im suprised by XT of his use of vocab in this cus he always struggled in a way with vocab but this piece right here...wow. both assorted the vocab out nicely and comfortably!. good job to you both....nice emotino and metaphors that helped depict the scene and help unfold the stroy gradually yet nicely!. i like this you both grew of each other if there was a flaw in XT is own part in like a certain expression of emotino EXACT picked it up. which was cool like a tag team. lol!.. keep writing XT and you will get the respect you deserve from other writers. EXACT you did well as usual coming with great creativity in your verse...nothing really else to say but just a nice job a nice read and it was a pleasure dude!. keep up the good work.


    RTF if so EXACT to one of my poems..broken pianists also you XT if ya want
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    thanx for the detalied feed but imma take my girl out to dinner and then feed on ur piece bra
    Left2Right


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  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    iight stay up.
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  5. #5
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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  6. #6
    . . . Tragedian.'s Avatar
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    ok this was a dope ass drop long as fuck but it was deff worth the read..X you went through your part very good and you said what needed to be said plus extra...you got the emotion going and i could feel it..your verse flowed really good..some lines were stretched but thats alright...you came with nice multies...rhyming was pretty good on every line...and you kept me intrested...exact...you came very nice as well..your style had me into it just from looking due to im more into shorter lines..and more set strutre..you stayed on your part of the topic really good...and flowed nicely...all together nice collab and keep up.
    Empire

  7. #7
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    thanx DJ
    Left2Right


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  8. #8
    Can't teach you my swag! D. Josey's Avatar
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    Up. This came out nice . . .

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  9. #9
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    yea it did all we need is feed now
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  10. #10
    You've Earned a Custom Title! The Vortex's Avatar
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    yeah format / structure was bit off-putting in my view for starters............. but fuck it coz sometimes working to a format can stunt the flow so w/e
    sum nice rhymes tho.............internals was on point so thus carried da flow n ish well............ imagery was spot on.............. very much poetic imagery was crstal clear for real.............

    a very pleasing and psycotic ending i would say...

    1
    .................................................. ......................

  11. #11
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    I read this and forgot to put in comments lol

    Aight this was di0pe...i liked it a lot as in the descriptions and metaphors conjoined with the fluent flow gave an easy and imaginative read. Xplict i reckon your really starting to pop on the scen now getting better and better and becoming doper though your chosen name states otherwise lol....Furthermore, i liked your use of imagery and the way you tied it in the wings across the sky was very good. The line i liked from your was
    Quote Originally Posted by Xplict
    A paper mache heart beats beneath the falling rain.
    Begins to deteriorate. and fall to pieces from the pain.
    The paper mach heart and the effect that rain has on paper was projected very well in that couplet.
    Exact your verse was very good to, it started on a different tack but then just exploded like. I liked the way you applied a better flow than you last battle stuff and the wording was much more fluent. Plus the dylexic( can't remember spellin, lol) touch was clever to. Once again your use of imagery assisted your piece into becoming very good.
    Quote Originally Posted by Exact
    catcher nets all tangle and twisted, if you were ever there I missed it,
    And if the carboard insert was ever in my living room, Sorry I kissed it,
    That line was just...DAMN...i liked that line a lot i mean lot lot lol.....

    Overall, i liked both the pieces but they couldn've been more related to each other na mean....Disregarding that this was an excellent piece...Stay up^.
    Kiss me through the camera lens.
    TNL

  12. #12
    Legend.
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    I thought this was a great piece.....this flowed really well so it read well easy.....your imagination was dope.....This piece had good descriptions and it was jammed with metaphors....you had good imagery and emotion was aiight.....Exact you pretty had the samethings in your part as xplicit.....You had great imagery and yours read easy also.....Overall dope piece well done stay up
    Legend.
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    18-0 Crew Record, 06-07 Best Crew.

  13. #13
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    Thanx Thomas

    uppin for Feed drop links and well feed on ur links
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  14. #14
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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  15. #15
    Incorrect Perfectionist Bilayer's Avatar
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    uppin for some more feed if you feed on this i'll feed on uur piece
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